


when we're underneath the lights my heart's no longer broken (for a moment)

by brazilianchild



Category: The Society (TV 2019)
Genre: AND THEY WERE NEXT DOOR NEIGHBORS, Allie and Harry are basically Romeo and Juliet (literally and figuratively lol), Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Fluff, Forbidden Love, M/M, Secret Relationship, allie pressman is a boss bitch and has great development, and they were all in a play together, heavily inspired by love story, star-crossed lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:15:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 52,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23561398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brazilianchild/pseuds/brazilianchild
Summary: Two people finding love at all odds, whether it be fate or freewill, is exactly the reason that inspires Allie Pressman’s school to do their own take on the timeless story of Romeo and Juliet. With Harry Bingham as Romeo, they can’t go wrong.Harry and Allie come from different worlds. They could never collide or they’ll come crashing down.But, like all great love stories, this one starts with a play. And, like all great love stories, somebody is gonna have their heart broken. (Just for a moment.)
Relationships: Harry Bingham/Allie Pressman
Comments: 85
Kudos: 197





	1. prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! Here I am again with a multi-chapter hallie fic. Hopefully this one will be finished considerably faster than the other.
> 
> Is this truly a hallie fic or just me indulging my Romeo and Juliet fantasies and my depression over the fact I won't get to do a musical/play again??? WHO KNOWS.
> 
> This fic was inspired by "Love Story" by Taylor Swift (no one is surprised) and also by "Just for a Moment" from High School Musical: the Musical Series. The title of the fic comes from "Just for a moment" which fits them so well in this GO LISTEN TO IT ITS HQ. All chapter titles will be lyrics from "Love Story."
> 
> This beautiful, stunning, poetic prologue was written by my very best friend and the most talented writer I know, Maria (@socasuallycruel). Shakespeare is SHAKING!!!!!! I love her so much guys, you wouldn't believe how grateful I am for her help in everything. Ilyi ;)

Two people finding love against all odds, whether it be fate or freewill, is exactly the reason that inspires Allie Pressman’s school to do their own take on the timeless story of Romeo and Juliet. With Harry Bingham as Romeo, they can’t go wrong. 

Harry Bingham was born to be a star. It doesn’t matter if it’s because of his charismatic personality or if it’s just being the lead in every school play. The stars love him; so they let him shine.

Allie Pressman likes being in the shadows. It doesn’t matter if it’s being the stage manager for her school theatre or if it’s just being known as Cassandra Pressman’s sister. The shadows treat her well; they suit her. 

Harry and Allie come from different worlds. They could never collide or they’ll come crashing down.

But, like all great love stories, this one starts with a play. And, like all great love stories, somebody is gonna have their heart broken. (Just for a moment.)


	2. we were both young when I first saw you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Auditions begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All chapter titles will be lyrics from "Love Story" hehe.
> 
> Anyways, here's the first chapter.

“Are you sure you don’t want to do the play this year?”

Cassandra sighed and took a big sip of her coffee. “Yes, I’m sure. I told you I have too many things going on this year.”

“But this is something we always do together. You act and I’m the Assistant Stage Manager.”

“We do plenty of other things together, Allie.” Cassandra stood up and put her empty mug in the sink.

“But it’s going to be Romeo and Juliet! It’s a classic.”

“And Harry Bingham is probably getting Romeo which is just another reason why I shouldn’t do it.”

“Oh, _come on._ ” Allie whined from her spot beside the kitchen island. “You can’t let him stop you from doing this. You’ve acted with him before and it went fine.”

Cassandra sighed (she did that quite a lot) and turned to Allie. “He’s not the only reason, I promise. It’s just with being Student Council President this year and Debate club, and focusing on my college applications it’s just all a bit too much. I’ve done plenty of plays before so it’s not a big deal.”

Allie didn’t reply, admitting defeat. She didn’t say how Cassandra had edged out one of the only activities that Allie spent all year looking forward to. Allie didn’t tell her how she wanted to spend more time with her before she left for college. 

Cassandra seemed to know what Allie was thinking anyway and walked over to pull her sister in a hug. “I love you so much. We’ll find other things to do together to make up for it, okay?”

Allie nodded. 

“Okay, girls.” Their mom chimed in, coming back into the kitchen. “You better get going or you’ll be late for school.”

They bid their mom goodbye and made their way to Cassandra’s car. 

“Good morning, Harry.”

Like every morning before, they would leave at the same time as their next-door neighbor Harry Bingham. And like every morning before, Cassandra would bid him good morning (with that overly sweet tone she always used when she was forcing herself to be polite), he would respond with a sarcastic smile, and Allie would hang behind Cassandra without saying a word.

Allie found relief in the front seat of Cassandra’s car; the exchange between them always made her feel weird. They had a stupid rivalry ever since they were young, and it only seemed to intensify when Cassandra beat Harry for Student Council President.

Of course Allie was on her sister’s side. Harry was arrogant and reckless and Allie wanted nothing to do with him. 

But she couldn’t _hate_ him, not really. She had simply known him for too long. She had too many good memories of him. Like that time when she was young and dressed up like a princess for over a month during Summer and when Harry saw her, he didn’t make fun of her like everyone else. He just bowed and offered her a flower from the nearest garden and called her “Your Royal Highness.” Allie had giggled and taken the flower before running back to her own backyard. 

So no, Allie didn’t hate him. But she wasn’t particularly fond of him either. Despite being neighbors for all this time, they had barely shared eight conversations just the two of them. Those conversations, such as the Princess Incident, hadn’t been bad.

Allie was stuffing her things in her locker when Will showed up. “Hey.”

She smiled at him. She always loved when he leaned at the locker next to hers like that. It made her feel like they were a typical high school couple. But they weren’t. She still loved him quietly and he still thought of them as just good friends. “Hey. How are you?”

“As good as someone can be when they have French first.”

Allie smiled. “Yeah, I don’t envy you. But I do have APES so…I feel like that’s almost as bad.”

“Ooh yeah, you’re right. You’re studying population now?”

“Mhm.” She slammed her locker shut. “I have no idea how Ms. Williams manages to turn something interesting that affects our world today into something mind numbingly boring.”

“Yeah, teachers tend to do that sometimes.”

They walked down the hall together; Will’s class was in the same direction as Allie’s. “Are you trying out for the play this year?”

Will nodded. “Yup. I’m trying out for Mercutio.”

“Can’t wait to see your dramatic death then.”

“I just have to get the part first. What about you? Are you trying out this year?”

“Nope. Just Assistant Stage Manager for me.”

Cassandra was the one who belonged on stage, not her. Just thinking about being on stage with the whole school watching her if she messed up made Allie’s blood freeze. No, she could never ever do that. She was much better on the sidelines, with a microphone and a clipboard.

“Well, Harry is obviously going to be Romeo. With Cassandra not doing it, who do you think will get Juliet? Kelly?”

“Might be a little awkward considering they broke up last week.”

“ _What?_ How did you know that?”

Will shrugged and stared ahead at the mass of people. “I hear things.”

“From who?” As far as Allie was concerned the only people he talked to were her and the rest of their friend group, which would not care about Harry Bingham’s love life whatsoever.

His eyes snapped back to Allie’s. “I have other friends, you know?”

Allie flinched. “I know. That’s not what I–”

“This is me. See you at lunch.” He went into the classroom without another word, leaving Allie standing there confused. _What just happened?_

But Allie couldn’t stand there for too long or she would be late.

She managed to settle herself into her seat just as the bell rang. 

Ms. Williams wasted no time before starting her powerpoint. Allie had chosen AP Environmental Science because it was meant to be the easier of the other AP sciences. Allie was never the best at science, but she needed to stack up on as many AP’s as she could for college. But God she hadn’t taken into account how boring this class would be. All Ms. Williams would do is stand in front of the class with her powerpoint and spend 30 minutes droning on about a single slide. 

Allie opened her notebook and braced herself for an hour and twenty minutes of mindless doodling. She looked out the window, watching the browning trees that usually came with early October in New England.

Her day went by as usual, she ate with her friends that shared the same lunch (luckily Will and her had every lunch together this year). 

Her last class of the day was AP Language & Composition, her favorite. Allie had always loved English. Writing had always come easily to her, and her teacher, Mr. Brady, was the best. Her class was mostly filled with other juniors like her, so it was an easier and lighter environment than most of her classes.

Will took the seat next to her with a smile. His coldness from the beginning of the day had faded completely. Allie was glad; she didn’t know how to deal with Will being mad at her. 

The class was the usual, Mr. Brady discussing the essay they read for homework. Allie was one of the few people who actually contributed to the discussion, along with Lexie and Bean. Will would whisper comments next to her making her laugh under her breath.

When the bell rang, Will and Allie made their way down to the theatre together.

“Hey, don’t be nervous.” Allie said, bumping her shoulder with his. “You’ll be great.”

Will gave her a tentative smile. “Thanks.”

She pulled open the door to the theatre and wasn’t surprised to hear Ms. Hernandez frantic yells. Auditions never were an easy time for their drama teacher. 

“Allie, thank God!” Ms. Hernandez, a short hispanic woman with big round glasses. “I need your help. Can you print more of these audition scripts, please?”

Allie smiled and took the papers from her teachers hands. “Sure.” She turned to Will to whisper him good luck, and made the familiar way towards the printer. 

When she returned with the scripts, everyone who was auditioning was sitting on the stage listening to Ms. Hernandez’ speech.

“–and while Romeo and Juliet has been done plenty of times, it’s a classic for a reason. The story is timeless. Two people finding love against all odds, whether it be fate or freewill, manages to resonate with every one of us. Now, I hope you all are ready to put on a great show.” She clapped her hands. “Let’s get to work!”

Allie handed the scripts out and made her way to sit next to Ms. Hernandez in one of the audience seats.

Everyone read for Romeo and Juliet at least once, and then they started reading for other parts as well. Ms. Hernandez watched them all with a scrutinizing eye, taking notes in the blue notebook she carried with her everywhere. Allie just watched, trying to imagine how this show was going to come together.

Most of the usual theatre crew was here: Lexie, Bean, Will, Kelly but…Harry was missing. Which was weird, he had done every play or musical since the 6th grade. Maybe he had decided not to do it this year just like Cassandra.

“Well, thank you for coming, everyone. You were all incredible and I’m so excited for what we’re going to do all together. I’ll post the list sometime next week.”

Everyone filtered out of the theatre. Will raised an eyebrow, asking the silent question if he should wait for her but she waved him off. She always stayed after to help Ms. Hernandez.

The woman sighed, rubbing her eyes behind her glasses. “Well. That was certainly something. I was thinking–”

She was interrupted by the theatre door opening loudly. Harry Bingham came through it, running down the steps frantically. “I’m so sorry, Ms. Hernandez. I was called into the Counsellor’s office and I couldn’t reschedule.”

“Harry, I’m sorry but auditions are over.” Ms. Hernandez stood up and turned toward the boy. Allie shrunk in her seat, trying to occupy the least amount of space possible. She had never seen Harry so desperate before. 

“But, Ms. Hernandez _please_ .” Harry begged. “It’s my senior year and you know me _._ You know this won’t happen again.”

Ms. Hernandez pursed her lips, considering him for a moment. “Fine.” She handed him a script and motioned to the stage. “Go on.”

Harry smiled. “Thank you so much, Ms. H.”

He clambered on to the stage, dropping his bag in the space between the stage and the seats. 

“Allie, go up there and join him.”  
  
Allie’s head snapped to her teacher. “ _What?_ ”

“He needs someone to read Juliet. Go.”

Allie was about to protest, but the look in Ms. Hernandez’ eyes told her there would be no point.

She grabbed a script and walked hesitantly to join Harry onstage. He didn’t look too happy about having Allie as his scene partner but he didn’t protest. He was lucky Mrs. Hernandez was even letting him audition.

“Do Act 1 Scene 5.”

They both found the scene on their paper and Allie felt stomach tie into knots. _What the fuck was she doing?_ She was never meant to be on stage. She was meant to be the one on the seats or the sidelines watching the actors do their thing. 

Harry took her hand like the script instructed. His eyes flitted from hers and the script as he read the lines with unprecedented emotion. “ _If I profane with my unworthiest hand this holy shrine, the gentle sin is this: my lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss._ ”

Allie gulped, his eyes still trained on hers. He looked so earnest and real that it caught her off guard. His eyes widened slightly as if to say _go on._

She looked back down to her script. “ _Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much, which mannerly devotion shows in this. For saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch, and palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss._ ”

“ _Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?_ ”

“ _Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer._ ”

“ _O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do. They pray; grant thou, lest faith turn to despair._ ” 

She didn’t know how he did that, how he took that Elizabethan English gibberish and made it sound so beautiful. He gave the words on the paper a soul. _That_ was why he had gotten the lead the past three years. 

“ _Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake._ ”

He inched closer to her, his grip still tight on her hand. “ _Then move not, while my prayer’s effect I take._ ”

The play said this is where they should kiss, but they didn’t. They just stood there, staring at each other. God, Allie had never realized how beautiful his eyes were.

“Okay!” They jumped apart. Allie felt her cheeks warm up and Harry looked away messing up his hair. Ms. Hernandez looked positively ecstatic. “That was really good. Both of you.”

Allie gave her an awkward smile and scrambled off the stage to get her stuff. She just wanted to get out of that damned theatre and away from Harry Bingham as fast as possible.

_What the fuck was that?_

Allie had just acted– in front of people–with _Harry Bingham._

She decided to walk home to clear her head, which of course didn’t work. The last person she wanted to see in the world pulled up next to her on the sidewalk. “Hey, Little Pressman. Want a ride?”

Allie continued walking and held back a retort. She hated when Harry called her that. “Nope.”

“You do know that we’re going to the same place, right?”

“Yup.”

His car still drove next to her slowly. “Oh come on, Allie. Just take the ride. I won’t kill you, I promise.”

“I know you won’t. Cassandra would make sure to have your own dead body in the river as soon as she found out.”  
  
“Don’t I know it. Now come on, just get in the car.”

It was getting dark and Allie’s sweater wasn’t warm enough to handle these sharp October temperature drops. Allie stopped walking and looked at Harry. There was no smirk on his face or anything indicating he was being anything but genuine. 

She didn’t say another word and walked around the car to climb on the passenger’s seat. He drove on, faint music playing from his stereo.

“Why haven’t you done the play before?”

She kept her eyes trained on the window. “I have.”

He gave her a look. “You know what I mean. Why haven’t you acted in them before?”

Allie shrugged. “It’s just not my thing.”

“Well, you should consider acting in them sometime. Up there you weren’t half bad.”  
  
She turned to look at him now. His hands were loose on the wheel and his eyes on the road. “Wow is that your version of a compliment?”

He smirked at her. “Maybe.” 

“It was pretty bad. Definitely a lot of room for improvement.”

He smiled, looking over at her once. “I’ll take note of that.”

Silence fell upon them. Allie watched the familiar houses pass by, trying not to think about auditions. She had acted before, but it was always a joke, make believe. She would make plays with Cassandra and Sam when they were younger, but she only did that because Cassandra needed more roles (she was always the lead). And then when their parents had let them use their video camera, Allie had been the one who held the camera. She was behind the scenes, where she belonged.

But that didn’t count as acting. Doing three plays when you were six to your parents don’t count. What Harry and Cassandra and Will did… that counted.

She thought about being on stage instead of on the sidelines. She thought of Harry’s hand holding hers, his eyes looking into her own. Just for a moment…it had felt real. 

Maybe that was why Harry was such a good actor. He could take the most inexperienced person and make them good as well.

“Well, here we are.”

Allie snapped herself from her thoughts to realize that they were already in Harry’s driveway. “Oh. Um… thanks for the ride.”

He gave her a small smile with a nod. “No problem.”

She unlocked the door and made her way out of the car. She looked up at the Bingham’s household, all grand with cladded wooden walls. She always felt like it was looming over her whenever she stood in front of it.

Allie’s eyes drifted to her own house. It looked much homelier in comparison. Allie was glad to live somewhere that felt cosy, unlike this monster in front of her.

“See you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow, Little Pressman.”

He turned around and walked back the steps to his own house, Allie going her separate way. 

She let herself in with her key and called out to her parents. “Hi, I’m home.”

“Just in time.” Her mother’s voice called out from the kitchen. “Dinner’s almost ready.”

“Cool.” She called back, making her way up the stairs to drop her bag off in her room.

Cassandra was waiting for her outside her door. “Why did you come home with Harry Bingham?”

Allie ignored her and went into her room, Cassandra trailing in after her. She dropped her bag on the floor by her bed and collapsed on top of her covers. Her stomach felt unusually tight, Cassandra’s current expression was not something Allie was used to seeing. She looked livid. 

“He offered me a ride home after rehearsal. It’s not a big deal.” That sentence fell like a lie off her lips. It felt like a big deal. What happened in auditions felt like a big deal. But it wasn’t. It couldn’t be.

Cassandra pursed her lips and crossed her arms, obviously displeased. “Oh. Okay.”

“GIRLS! DINNER’S READY.”

Allie stood up quickly, ready to flee from this conversation. But Cassandra was relentless. “You should be careful. You know he’s a dick, Allie. If you need a ride just call me. You don’t have to be owing him any favours.”

“Owing who any favours?” Their dad asked, taking his seat at the dinner table.

Allie said “no one” the same time Cassandra said “Harry Bingham.” They exchanged a look and Allie bit her lip.

“Harry Bingham? Why would you be owing him any favours, Al?”

Allie poured some water into her cup, trying not to get too exasperated by this stupid conversation topic. “He just gave me a ride home. Which is practical since we’re literally neighbors.”

“I never liked that kid.” Allie’s father added. 

She repressed an eye roll. _I don’t remember asking._

He continued. “Something is off with him and his family. Remember how that boy just disappeared last summer? _The entire summer!_ And Karen’s husband died five months ago and she seems completely fine. She seemed more bothered when Harry lost that Student Council election to Cassie, remember? But now her husband’s dead and life seems to be going on as usual.”

Allie looked down at her food, refusing to engage in this pointless discussion.

“She’s barely even at the house anymore.” Her mother commented. “She just leaves her two kids alone for weeks and goes off to God knows where. It’s not healthy.”

Cassandra gave Allie a pointed look as if to say _see?_

Allie looked away and took a sip of her water. She hated when her parents did this. They just kept judging other people’s family lives as if they knew what was going on. They were always especially hard on the Bingham’s.

“Well, I don’t see how any of this matters. He just gave me a ride home. It’s not like I’m marrying him or something.”

Cassandra choked on her drink. She coughed and swallowed hastily. “God Allie, don’t even joke about that.”

Allie shrugged and took a bite of her food. 

Thankfully, their mother changed the subject to something that had nothing to do with the boy next door.

* * *

“I think the auditions went pretty well. Might even get Romeo since Harry didn’t audition.” Will said, leaning against the space next to her locker. He wasn’t looking at her so he didn’t notice her tense at the mention of Harry’s name.

Allie bit her lip and focused on the locker before her. “Well, actually he did audition.”

“He did?” Now this caught his attention, and Will turned to face her fully. “When?”

She glanced at him quickly before shuffling through her book. “After everyone left. He came in late, claiming he had another appointment and Ms. H let him audition then.”

Will scoffed and turned to lean his back fully on the lockers. “Typical. ‘Spoiled rich guy’ fucks up but still manages to get away with it because he can.” He sighed. “Was he any good?”

She thought about his hand cupping hers as if it was the most natural thing in the world. She thought about his eyes, filled with a longing and desperation that hit her at her core. Allie gulped. “Yes, unfortunately.”

Will groaned. “I thought so. Ready?”

Allie nodded and slammed her locker shut. Will kept talking but she was vaguely paying attention. She just couldn’t bring herself to focus on what he was saying.

The next couple days went like that. Will talking and pretending like something else wasn’t going on with him that he didn’t tell Allie about while she kept pretending she didn’t notice. She just didn’t want to break this weird bubble they found themselves in.

“What are you doing?” Cassandra asked.

Allie didn’t dare glance at her. Her current task demanded all her focus.

Thankfully, Will answered for her. “She’s trying to balance a water bottle on her forehead. I bet her ten bucks she couldn’t get it balanced for more than 5 seconds.”

Allie’s hand was still around the water bottle, her head arched back to try and make a flat surface. “I will do it, LeClair.”

Cassandra sighed, but Allie could hear the smile in her voice. “Well, if you must. But just know that Will is stealing all your fries.”

“Hey!” Allie lifted her head to swat away his hand from her plate. “Hands off my fries.”

Will laughed and raised his hands up in defence.

Allie leaned back and tried to balance the water bottle on her forehead again. When she thought she could feel the bottle was somewhat balanced, Allie let go slowly. 

She smiled trying not to move her head too much and Will started counting. “One. Two. Three. Four–”

“Guys! Casting list is up.”

The bottle slipped off Allie’s forehead and she scrambled to catch it. Becca was standing by their table with Sam by her side. They both were staring at Allie in a way that made her uncomfortable.

“Oh my God.” Will got up from his seat and pulled on his backpack. “Come on, Allie let’s go.”

Allie waved goodbye to the rest of their friends at the lunch table and jogged after Will. There was somewhat of a crowd around the casting list: Kelly, Lexie, Gwen all staring at in confusion.

Will turned to Kelly with a familiarity that shocked Allie. “Did I get it? Did you get Juliet?”

Kelly just blinked back at him and turned to give Allie a look. She met his eyes again and nodded towards the board. “See for yourself.”  
  
Will’s smile faltered but he pushed through the crowd, Allie following closely behind him. Allie’s eyes scanned the list for Mercutio.

Mercutio………………………………………………………………. _Will LeClair_

Allie smiled and clapped him on the shoulder. “See? I told you you’d get it.”

Will didn’t reply. He just stared at the list in shock. 

She frowned. “Why aren’t you happy about this? It’s what you wanted right?”

“Allie? Did you not see it?”  
  
“See what?” She scanned the list again and her eyes caught what they had missed the first time. She froze. 

Romeo………………………………………………………………. _Harry Bingham_

Juliet………………………………………………………………... _Allie Pressman_

“ _What the fuck?_ ”

She inched closer to the paper, trying to see if her eyes were playing tricks on her. “I-I don’t know how this happened. I didn’t even audition.”

Will stared back at her, his face clouded in disbelief. Allie looked around the group of people to see they were all staring at her as well. She wanted to shrink back into her cave, away from all their glares. Allie hated being the center of attention, and now she found herself being unwillingly thrusted in the spotlight.

She gulped and pushed her way through the crowd. Allie felt tears coming to her eyes as she tried not to run down the hallway like her body was screaming her to. No one followed her.

She walked and walked, until she realized she was making her way to Ms. Hernandez’ office. When she found the familiar blue door Allie took a second to recompose herself. After a couple deep breaths, she knocked on the door and heard a “come in.”

Allie opened the door tentatively and found Ms. Hernandez crouched over her cluttered desk. Her office was always unusually dark, filled with scripts and props shoved into the corners. She raised her glasses to the top of her head when she saw it was Allie, not looking surprised in the least. “Ah. I’m assuming you’ve seen the cast list?”

Allie nodded, not really sure what to say. She wanted to know why Ms. Hernandez had casted her as the female lead, but everything she was coming up with sounded whiny and ungrateful. “I-I’m just trying to understand Ms. Hernandez why you would pick me for Juliet. There are so many people who would do a much better job than me. I didn’t even audition.”

Ms. Hernandez bit her lip. “I disagree. I think you’d make a fantastic Juliet. When you read for Juliet with Harry… I saw something in you. Potential.”

“Did you just cast me because I’m Cassandra’s sister?” She realized how idiotic the question was as soon as it left her mouth. But it was a thought she’d first had when she saw the list and she couldn’t dispel it.

Ms. Hernandez stood up from her chair to stand in front of Allie. “No, Allie I didn’t. I try to seperate people from their family members, and yes, your sister is a very talented actress, but I would never cast someone just because of their relation to others.”

“I-I’m sorry, Ms. Hernandez. Please don’t take this the wrong way, I’m honored, but I can’t play Juliet. I’m not an actress, I’m perfectly happy and comfortable to be Assistant Stage Manager again.”

“Allie. I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t think you could do it. You’re talented. I could see it in that five minute scene with Harry clearer than ever. If you don’t want to do this, that's fine, I’ll re-cast her. But don’t not do it because you’re scared. You don’t have to be afraid of being in the spotlight.”

Allie held her teacher’s gaze, that sentence bouncing around her like a pinball machine. A little spark within her–from a feeling she had buried a long time ago the first time Cassandra had proclaimed herself the lead in their little home movies and told Allie she could hold the camera–started to come alive. Maybe she’d regret this decision later. Or maybe not.

“Alright, I’ll do it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Harry calling Allie "Little Pressman" was inspired by the hallie fic "it's not the waking, it's the rising" by RaeOfFrickingSunshine (I love that fic plz go read it) where Harry calls Allie "Mini Pressman." 
> 
> It became my new favorite headcannon but I used "little" instead of "mini" because UGH MY SLEXIE HEART (little grey?? no?? please tell me someone here watches grey's anatomy)


	3. they're trying to tell me how to feel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Romeo and Juliet" have their first read-through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you know, I realized there's been like a new wave of hallie high school fics and idk maybe it's because we're all in quarantine and we just miss high school or something?? i never thought i would miss that hellhole but it's my senior year and this is not how it should be going. Oh well. It is what it is.
> 
> title of the chapter comes from Love Story as always.

“I’m just trying to understand how this happened.”

She met Cassandra’s eyes through the mirror. Cassandra was sitting on the toilet lid, waiting for Allie to finish her skin care routine. 

Allie shrugged, still massaging her face in circles. “I’m not sure I understand either.”

“It’s absurd that’s what it is. I love Ms. Hernandez but I can’t believe she would just thrust you into this without warning. _And_ not only does she do this but she puts you to star next to Harry.” Cassandra shook her head, her jaw tightening. “She’s always had a soft spot for him. I can’t even begin to imagine why.”

Allie said nothing and leaned over the sink to wash off her face. Everyone seemed to like Harry _but_ Cassandra. What others saw as charm, Cassandra saw as arrogance. 

“You have to be careful, Allie.”

Allie groaned. “Oh, _God._ Not this again.”

“Yes, this again. Because it’s even more important now that you’ll be acting together in this play. You can’t let yourself buy into his games.”

“He’s not a fucking siren, Cassandra. I’ll be fine.”

“I’m just saying, you’ll be spending a lot of time together.”

Allie turned around to face her sister properly. “So did you two, and you’re fine.”

Cassandra gave Allie a look. “I’m just saying. Be careful.”

Allie rolled her eyes and faced the sink again to dry off her hands. Her sister really liked to “just say” a lot of things. And she was so dramatic sometimes. Well…most of the time. 

Harry Bingham was just a boy. He wasn’t her biggest problem with getting this part. He was actually the least of her problems. Allie was more concerned with the fact that she had never acted in front of people. She was more worried that she would fuck up massively and embarrass herself for agreeing to an impossible task.

The shadows suited her and she couldn’t figure out why she had decided to step out of them.

* * *

It was the day of the first rehearsal for “Romeo and Juliet” and Harry still hadn’t decided how he felt about the casting.

He was happy about getting Romeo, of course. Thought it didn’t come out much as a surprise to him. He was a star. He belonged on stage playing the lead. 

He just hadn’t been expecting to have _Allie Pressman_ standing there beside him. Harry thought his days acting with a Pressman were over when he heard Cassandra wasn’t doing the school production this year. But it seemed the universe just loved screwing him over. 

Sure, Allie wasn’t as bad as Cassandra. She was more quiet, always seeming content to hide behind her sister with that friend of hers. And she was pretty good at that one scene they did together. But when he told her she should consider going into acting he meant _next year._ When he wouldn’t be here to see it. 

Yet in his last play in high school ever, he had a complete rookie to play his love interest.

Harry had been hoping Kelly would get Juliet. A part of him thought that maybe, _just maybe_ , playing love interests would rekindle whatever was left in their dead relationship. But he was wrong and Kelly would still continue to look at him differently–like all the love had drained out of her eyes.

Harry was at his locker, when he saw the impossible happen. Cassandra Pressman was making her way towards him with a look of determination on her face. 

“I need to talk to you.”

Harry looked over his shoulder to see if anyone else was behind him. “I’m sorry, are you talking to _me_?’

Cassandra bit her lip in a way that let him know she was trying not to snap at him. “Yes, I’m talking to you. I heard you got Romeo. Congratulations.”

 _Ah._ That was why she was here. “Thanks.”

“I just wanted to make something very clear to you.” All forced politeness drained from Cassandra’s eyes. “She’s my sister and I won’t have you ruining this experience for her in any way. Got it?”

Harry adjusted his backpack on his shoulder. “Your wish is my command, Your Majesty.”

Cassandra rolled her eyes and turned to leave. “Goodbye, Harry.”

Harry nodded a goodbye and watched Cassandra strut away with her held high. He slammed his locker shut. He looked down the hallway, his eyes snagging on Kelly as they always tended to do. She was talking to Gwen and Olivia, a bright smile on her face like always.

God. He couldn’t remember the last time she had smiled like that for _him._ Their relationship had been over for a long time before she finally called it quits. He knew it was coming. He had even considered doing it himself a couple times. But he couldn’t. 

He was just so fucking afraid of being alone. His father had died and he had grasped onto Kelly for a lifeline: the only person who really seemed to care about him only a little.

But now he had lost her too and it was all his fucking fault. He couldn’t blame her for leaving him. He could tell she was hesitant, especially after everything with his dad. But there was nothing there anymore.

_This hasn’t been working, Harry. You’re asking things from me that I can’t give and it’s not fair or healthy for either one of us. You can’t want to be with me just because I’m the only one left. It’s not right._

He looked away and slammed his locker shut, trying to drown out Kelly’s voice in his head. He needed to get to class.

* * *

Allie couldn’t keep still in class. Which was unusual since she was normally focused in World History. She _loved_ history. And they were talking about past queens which was a really cool topic.

But Allie couldn’t bring herself to focus. She just kept thinking about rehearsal after school. It would be the first time they would gather as a cast and everyone would have their eyes on _her_. They would all be trying to see what she could do. To judge if she was worthy of her role. Allie wasn’t even sure of that herself.

Becca, who sat next to her, gave her a look. “You okay?” She whispered.

Allie stopped tapping her pen against the desk. “I’m fine. Just a little nervous.”

“Don’t be. You’ll be great.”

Allie forced a smile. “Thanks.”

Class ended and Allie made her way to the theatre alone. Will was in another class right now, so they just agreed to meet at rehearsals.

She wasn’t surprised when she saw she was the first one there (her class was right by the theatre).

Ms. Hernandez was the only one there and she looked up to give Allie a smile. “Oh, hi Allie. Are you excited?”

“Very.” She hoped Ms. Hernandez wouldn’t catch the sarcasm in her voice (by the smirk Ms. H gave her, she did).

She handed Allie a small but thick book. “Here’s your copy.”

Allie brushed her fingers over the “Romeo and Juliet” that was written on the purple cover. 

“Would you mind setting up the chairs on stage into a circle? We’re just going to do a read through of the play today.”

She was glad for something to do. “Yeah, sure.”

The first person to come in was Elle. Allie had been surprised when she had shown up at auditions. Elle was a ballerina and she wasn’t really known for being too “social.” Allie couldn’t even begin to think of a reason for Elle wanting to do the play all of a sudden. But she was alright and had been casted as Friar John (the one who fucks up and doesn’t give the message to Romeo).

They exchanged an awkward smile and Elle started to help her set up the chairs. 

She heard Will before she saw him. Allie looked over her shoulder, glad to finally have her friend with her, when she saw who had made him laugh. _Kelly_. Him and Kelly just walking into the theatre like old friends. 

Allie gulped and turned back to her task. She had known about Will’s crush on Kelly for a while. The boy wasn’t exactly subtle. But she thought it was just that: a crush. She hadn’t really thought something else was going to come out of it. The look on their faces told her she had been wrong.

She took a seat on one of the chairs and pretended to be looking over the play.

Allie heard Elle whisper a couple seats over. “Oh, thank God.”

She looked back up to see what had made Elle so relieved and saw that Harry Bingham had also entered the theatre. He gave Will and Kelly a look, his jaw tightening. But then he looked to the stage and smiled. “Still can’t believe you’re actually doing this.”

Allie was about to retort when she realized he wasn’t talking to her. Elle was smiling back at him as she shrugged. “What can I say? You’re a pretty convincing person.”

He shook his head and wrapped an arm around her shoulders to tug her into his side. “And aren’t you thankful for that? It’s going to be fun!”

Elle rolled her eyes. “Sure.”

Allie was extremely confused and looked back down to the play. Since when had those two been such good friends? Come to think of it, Allie couldn’t really think of who Harry was really friends with. Sure, he hung out with the football players and that crowd, but they never seemed actually close. But Harry and Elle? That was certainly unexpected.

“Hey.”

Allie turned to see Bean take the seat next to her. She smiled. Bean had always been one of her favorite people out of the theatre kids. “Hey.”

Bean looked around the theatre, more kids filing in by the minute. “Wow, it’s really starting to take shape isn’t it? But, hey at least we’ll get to do a lot of scenes together.”

Bean had been casted as Nurse, who was one of the characters that had the most scenes with Juliet. 

Allie smiled and knocked her shoulder against hers. “Yeah, it’ll be fun.”

Will took the other seat next to Allie and she smiled at him (she tried not to fixate on how Kelly had sat on his other side).

“Okay, everyone!” Ms. Hernandez climbed the steps onto the stage, joining the last spot in the circle. “Let’s get started. Today, we’ll just be doing a read-through and just trying to get through as much as we can. It’s just so we can all have a feel for the show we’re going to put on. I might give you a couple notes here and there as I get ideas, and if you’ve worked with me before you know that I can be very…erratic with these things.”  
  
Allie knew more than most. She was always the one who had to scribble all of Ms. Hernandez’ ideas as Assistant Stage Manager. Now, Helena had seemed to take her previous role. She gave Allie a smile from her spot next to Ms. Hernandez. 

Wow. She never thought she would be on the other side, receiving those notes instead of writing them down. She’d just have to get used to it.

“As usual, I’ll be reading the stage directions. Now Olivia, please start us off and read us the prologue.”

Olivia tucked a hair behind her ear, obviously nervous for being the first one to talk. But it was her role; she was casted as Chorus and would deliver the prologue that started the play. “ _Two households, both alike in dignity, in fair Verona, where we lay our scene. Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.”_

Allie had always loved prologues. She just thought that they were so interesting, how a writer could give context for the story to come. Or how they could even spoil some aspects while keeping the enchantment alive; fooling the reader into knowing what will happen when in fact they really don’t know anything at all. 

Shakespeare had obviously always been spectacular at this. Allie couldn’t help but smile slightly when Olivia spoke her favorite line. _“From forth the fatal loins of these two foes a pair of star-crossed lovers take their life, whose misadventured piteous overthrows doth with their death bury their parents' strife.”_

Allie observed her fellow cast mates bring the play to life. The first two scenes of the play were more focused on Romeo and the other boys fighting between themselves. And God, they were good. Harry especially. Ms. Hernandez barely gave him notes for the amount the boy spoke. 

Allie braced herself for the first time Juliet appeared in Act 1 Scene 3, one between her, Nurse–Bean– and Lady Capulet–Lexie. 

She buried her nails in her palms, trying to push down the anxiety she felt at how she had to open her mouth and embarrass herself in front of everyone.

Luckily, she didn’t have that many monologues in this scene. But the few lines she did have, her anxiety got so high that her tongue twisted. “ _I’ll look to like if liking looking_ – Sorry. Um… _if looking liking move._ ” God, she sounded stiff even to her own ears. 

“Allie.”

She looked up to meet Ms. Hernandez’ eyes. The woman was looking at her with a gentleness Allie hadn’t seen before. “Don’t worry so much about getting the words right. Elizabethan English is hard and we’ll practice, for now just try and _feel_ the words.”

Allie nodded, feeling her cheeks burn in shame. She looked down to focus on the page. God, she shouldn’t be doing this. She was absolutely terrible and an amateur and she shouldn’t have been cast for this role. She knew that, and _everyone_ did too. They were probably thinking horrible things of her at that very moment. She didn’t dare look up from her play in fear of someone snickering at her fuck ups.

She pushed those thoughts down as much she could for the moment. As much as she wanted to, she couldn’t run. She couldn’t quit now. Allie had committed to playing Juliet and she would see this through until the end (even if she made an absolute fool of herself in the process). 

She got a little better as the read through went on, but not good enough. She still paled in comparison to others, especially Harry. God, she resented him. 

They barely made it to the end of Act 4 when they ran out of time. Ms. Hernandez gave a speech about how ‘everyone had done great’ which Allie listened to with half an ear. She had done absolutely terrible. She knew she had confirmed everyone’s (and her own) suspicions of her being unworthy of this role. 

She basically sprinted out of the theatre when Ms. Hernandez dismissed them, Will hot on her heels.

“That was actually pretty good.”  
  
“Shut the fuck up, Will. That was fucking horrible. _I_ was horrible.”

“You weren’t that–”

She gave him a look at him and he sighed. “Fine. That wasn’t the best. But it’s Shakespeare and it’s the first time you’ve ever acted before. I mean, what did you expect?”

She stopped walking to turn around to glare at him. “What is that supposed to mean?”

He seemed to realize what he had just said. “No, Allie I didn’t mean–”

“No, but you did. You were expecting me to fuck up, weren’t you? You don’t think I can do this.”

Will looked around, not meeting her eyes. He looked trapped. “I don’t know Allie, I’m not saying that. It’s just…you never expressed any interest in acting before and now you want to play the lead? It doesn’t seem like you.”

His words stung more than they should have. Maybe it was because of her crush on him, or maybe it was because some of it hit home. This wasn’t like her at all. Playing the lead? Acting in front of the entire school? This wasn’t her. 

Or maybe it was. Maybe she just had no idea who she truly was at all. Maybe she’d just grown too comfortable in Cassandra’s shadow to want to step out and find out who _she_ wanted to be.

“You know what, Will? I’ll see you around.”

She turned around and continued her walk down the parking lot.

She ignored Will calling after her. She didn’t want to talk to him right now. He just seemed different. Or maybe she was the one who was changing. 

She was a couple months from turning seventeen, wasn’t that the appropriate age for an identity crisis?

She caught sight of Harry making his way to his car. “Harry!”

He looked over his shoulder, his hand still on the car door handle. “Yes?”

“That offer for a ride still open?”

She was planning on going home with Will, hitching a (very unsafe) ride on the back of his bicycle. But she didn’t want to be near him right now. And Harry was an escape. He was someone who held no expectations of who she should be; mostly because he didn’t really give enough of a shit about her to care. It was worth risking Cassandra scolding her again.

She could see hesitation on Harry’s face before he eventually nodded. “Sure.”

Allie gave a sigh of relief and walked over to the passenger’s seat, not daring to look back and see Will’s confused expression. 

They drove for a couple minutes in silence. The radio in a low hum being the only sound in the car.

Of course, Harry was the one to break the silence. “So…what did you think of your debut in the acting world?”

“Shut up. I know I was terrible.” 

Harry shrugged. “Now, I wouldn’t say terrible. You were just more ‘Captain Holt’ than ‘Juliet’.”

Allie snorted. “I’ll take that as a compliment because Captain Holt is a legend. But yeah…it was not ideal.”

“Look, Ms. Hernandez had a point. You’re too focused on the words and getting it right. Yes, the words are important but what does it matter if there’s no heart in it? Then you’re just an idiot reading words a guy wrote nearly 500 years ago.”

She was still feeling sour from her argument with Will and she couldn’t help but snap. “I don’t remember asking for your opinion, thanks.” 

Harry raised his fingers from his wheel, as if he was raising his hands in defence as much as he could manage while driving. “Okay, I’ll stop. But just know that it’s not that big of a deal. People don’t care as much as you think they do.”

She turned to face him, her hand still holding her head up by keeping her elbow pressed at the edge of the window. “Thanks…?”

“It’s not meant to be insulting. It’s just…don’t spend time thinking about what others will say when everyone is actually just focused on themselves. Do whatever the fuck you want.”

“Easier said than done.”

“Trust me. I know. Look, you were pretty great at auditions so why do you think it was easier then?”

The answer came easily. “Because I don’t really give a fuck what you think of me.”

He turned to smirk at her. “Exactly.”

The car pulled into his driveway once more and Allie got hit with a sense of deja vu. “Thanks for the ride. Again.”

“I mean it’s not like I had much of a choice.” 

She glared at him and he laughed. 

“You're welcome, Little Pressman.”

She rolled her eyes and got out of his car. This time, Cassandra didn’t seem to see who she had come home with so thankfully she was spared the lecture (which would really be the last thing she needed right now).

She collapsed on her bed with her eyes closed. She laid there for as long as she could, thinking over the events of that day. God, what a fucked up day.

She couldn’t sleep that night. There were too many thoughts circling her mind and she kept shifting and turning until at least 1 a.m. But by the time she finally started drifting to sleep, Allie had come to two decisions:

  1. She was going to practice and work hard and become the best Juliet her school had ever seen
  2. She would drop anyone who doubted her or dared get in her way



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, this is not at all what I had planned for this chapter. But it just felt natural for Allie's development and I'm not complaining about what came out. Allie is a bad bitch and are you guys ready for her lighting the world on fire?
> 
> alexa play fight song by rachel platten
> 
> You guys can find me on tumblr my user is @brazilianchild.


	4. see the lights, see the party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is considerably longer than the other ones and yet it was so, so fun to write. Writing Allie embracing her bad bitch side was just SO FUN. We love that for her.
> 
> Chapter title is a lyric from "Love Story".

Allie woke up with a new determination. Today was going to be a good day. She was going to make it so. She even had a plan. 

The first step in her plan was to make herself some extra tea in the morning so she could take it with her to school. This was something she always wanted to do (since she got really cold in the mornings) but never did because her school had a stupid “no drinks except water in the classroom” policy. Everyone broke it, but she wasn’t everyone. She liked to follow the rules because Cassandra followed the rules. 

Well, no more. She was tired of being in other people’s shadows–Cassandra, Will–and it was about time she did things because _she_ wanted to.

She put her chamomile tea in her pink Hydroflask (yes, she had a Hydroflask and whatever, they were actually really practical) and was surprised that the bottle seemed to hold the hot drink pretty well.

She felt something blossom in her when she placed the bottle very clearly on her desk. It was stupid. It was literally breaking the simplest of rules. And yet, Allie couldn’t help but smile at her little act of rebellion. It felt like a first step–small yet, big all the same.

She spent her morning talking to Becca and Sam. Will was nowhere to be seen, whether he was purposefully avoiding her or this was by pure coincidence was yet to be determined. 

None of them had even tried to be productive in their free block. They were sitting outside, trying to enjoy whatever sunshine they could still soak up.

“I want to do something this weekend.” Allie said to Becca, when Sam left them to go to the bathroom. “Something stupid preferably.”

“Well, Clark is having a party this Friday. It’ll be plenty stupid. We can go and drink their booze and judge them from afar.”

Allie smiled. “Sounds perfect.”

“Cool. Let me just text the others–”

“No!” Becca frowned at her outburst. “I mean…let’s go just us. You, me and Sam. You know Cassandra will just say no anyways and I don’t really want to be around Will right now, to be honest.”

Becca pursed her lips. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really, no.”

“Okay.” Becca gave her one more look before pulling out her phone. “I’m gonna go take some pictures.”

She wandered off and left Allie alone on the grass. She didn’t mind. And anyways, Sam would be back soon.

Allie pulled out her play from her bag and started going over her lines again. She _would_ get these right. She didn’t have rehearsal again until Thursday, and she was determined to have gone over her lines enough times that she was at least comfortable saying them out loud.

It wasn’t long before Sam sat down next to her again. “Trying to memorize your lines already?” He signed to her.

“Just trying to understand them, to be honest.” She signed back, speaking the words out loud softly. “The read-through didn’t go so well and I want to do better.”

Sam smiled. His eyes were as kind as always. “You’re going to be amazing. And soon me and Becca will be around to help with tech.”

“Yeah. I can’t wait. Also, me and Becca were thinking of going to Clark’s party on Friday. Want to come?” 

“A night of getting stupidly drunk on cheap beer? I’m in.”

Allie smiled. She really was lucky to have a cousin as great as Sam. She couldn’t even begin to imagine how he was directly related to Campbell. Technically, she was _also_ related to him. It didn’t stop him from being absolutely despicable to everyone around him.

She went back to reading through the play, saying the words out loud to herself. God, Elizabethan English was a fucking pain. 

Eventually, they all had to go back inside as their free block came to an end.

Much to her dismay, Will ran into her before her last class of the day. She kept her eyes on her shoes, praying this was over with quickly.

“I’m sorry, Allie. I shouldn’t have said that. I wasn’t being supportive.”

She met his eyes and swallowed down her own apology. She had no need to apologize. _He_ was the one who fucked up. “No, you weren’t.”

“I know. I won’t do it again, I promise. You’re my best friend and I got your back.”

Even though she was mad at him, it still stung to be reminded of how one-sided whatever feelings she had for him truly were. Whatever. It was nothing she didn’t already know.

He hesitated at her silence and gave her a tentative smile. “So, we good?”

Allie bit her lip. He _did_ look genuinely sorry for offending her and right now that was enough. But _no_ , he hadn’t supported her and wasn’t that the first cardinal rule of friendship? That you always supported each other no matter what?

She sighed. “Yeah, we’re good.” She raised a finger to point at him. “But you’re put on probation, mister. One more fuck up…”

He laughed and turned around to wrap an arm around her shoulder. “Understood.”

She was about to tell him about her plans with Becca and Sam when she stopped herself. 

What was she doing? Didn’t she want to find out who she was outside of this friendship? Did it really take one simple apology to just weaken her entire resolve? _No_ . She was a strong woman, who snuck in hot drinks into the classroom _Godamnit_. Allie could handle going out without telling Will. He wasn’t her keeper after all.

* * *

“Oh, I haven’t had the chance to ask you. How was your first rehearsal?”

Allie shrugged, sparing a glance at Cassandra. She was driving them home as always. Well, not always. An image of a brown haired boy came to Allie’s mind.

“Shit.”

Cassandra frowned. “Really? How come?” Her jaw tightened. “Was it Harry?”

“ _What?_ No. It was me. I sucked. I couldn’t put feelings into the lines. It just sounded bad.”

“Yeah. Shakespearean English isn’t exactly easy.”

Allie sighed. She had heard that a billion times recently. “Or so they tell me.”

“Well, you probably just need to put an image to it somehow. You know what we should do? We should watch “Romeo + Juliet”. The one with Leo DiCaprio. They speak in Elizabethan English but still manage to bring a modern take to it.”

“Ah, yes. Young Leo. I’m in.”

Cassandra laughed. “No one could ever deny Young Leo. We can make some popcorn.”

“But God, no pickled jalapeños. I can’t focus if you keep giving off those toxic Chernobyl-ly fumes.”

“Shut up!” Cassandra smacked her lightly. 

Allie laughed and inched away. “Backdraft.” She muttered to herself.

Cassandra’s smirk told her she had heard the nickname. It was something Allie had called her for years.

They settled in to watch the movie in the living room. Both their parents weren’t home yet, so they took advantage of the vacant space. They gathered up with fluffy blankets and the popcorn.

Allie leaned her head on Cassandra’s shoulder, enjoying how her sister was making time for her as she promised. She really had the best sister ever. Even though Cassandra had been a theatre kid for much longer than Allie, she didn’t even try to give her a condescending comment. No, she was just there for her. As always.

As much as Allie hated being in Cassandra’s shadow, she could never hate _Cassandra._ She was an amazing sister and even though Cassandra was a little too protective for Allie’s good, she had her back no matter what. 

“I’m going to miss you so much when you go to college.” Allie whispered. 

Cassandra pressed a kiss to the top of Allie’s head. “I’m going to miss you too.”

Of course, Cassandra was right. The movie helped a lot. She looked really close at Claire Danes (as well as Leo DiCaprio cause _duh_ ), trying to analyze how she delivered Juliet’s lines. 

They were at the scene where Romeo and Juliet met for the first time. She couldn’t help but flashback to when she had done that scene with Harry, over a week ago. 

_Oh God,_ were they going to have to kiss as much as Leo DiCaprio and Claire Danes did? The script did say to kiss but what they were doing on screen seemed… excessive. 

But still, it was such a beautiful scene. Allie had always thought Romeo and Juliet (and the whole concept of love at first sight really) to be a little forced. How could someone fall in love so quickly? It didn’t seem plausible.

Yet, her heart ached when Romeo pulled Juliet into the elevator. Violins played as they kissed, bringing a smile to Allie’s face. It was so beautiful and touching. What was it that made this scene _so good?_

“Wait… that’s it.”

“What’s it?” Cassandra replied, reaching for more popcorn.

“That’s what brings emotions to these scenes, what brings the words to life. It’s the music.”

“But Allie… you’re doing a play.”

“I’m not saying we turn it into a musical.” Allie adjusted herself in her spot to fully face Cassandra. “Think about it. What brings people to tears at the end of a movie? What makes Game of Thrones battle scenes seem so epic and intense? The acting, yes, obviously it’ll suck if everyone is bad at acting but _the_ _soundtrack_ is what hits people in the heart.”

Cassandra cocked her head, her eyes glazing in a way that told Allie she was considering it. 

“Like look–” Allie pointed to the screen, where music had been reduced to a low hum as Romeo realized that Juliet was a Capulet. “–look at the massive shift in the scene. They were happy and in love only seconds ago and now it’s melancholic and…and… hopeless.”

She met Cassandra’s eyes. A determination settling in her stomach. “Words can only take the audience so far. But a good soundtrack, one that makes the audience _feel_ the Elizabethan English that might seem distant to them, can make this play great. What do you think?”

Cassandra looked at her for a long moment. Her face was thoughtful but giving no clue of her opinion. 

Allie held her breath and waited. It felt like millenia had passed when Cassandra smiled. “I think if you can pull this off, it’s going to be incredible.”

Allie smiled too. Her sister’s approval at her idea filled her with joy. If Cassandra liked it then maybe something could actually come out of this. 

Cassandra paused the movie and turned to face Allie fully. “Okay, if you’re going to do this you’ll have to go about this the right way. First, you obviously need to talk to Ms. Hernandez to see if she’ll even take the idea. If she gives the go ahead then you can go from there. But you need to go there prepared. Ms. Hernandez will be more inclined to let this happen if she knows you have a plan.”

Allie smiled and nodded. “Okay, I will.” She reached over and took her sister’s hand. “Thank you. For all of this.”

Cassandra smiled. “Of course. It’s the least I could do.” She pressed play and the movie started playing again. “Besides, I’m not the one who has to kiss Harry Bingham.”

Allie laughed and punched her in her shoulder. _Dear God_ , why had she agreed to do this play again? _Right_. She agreed because it was empowering and helped her in her journey towards self-discovery and all that bullshit.

She grabbed a handful of popcorn and turned her attention back to young Leo DiCaprio (the only thing that truly mattered at that moment). 

* * *

“No.”

Allie’s enthusiasm faltered. She had met with Ms. Hernandez in her office and told her her idea. She didn’t think Ms. Hernandez would come to her answer so hastily. Allie stuttered, completely thrown off by her teacher’s quick refusal.

Ms. Hernandez sighed and looked up from her mess of papers. “It’s a good idea, Allie. A very good idea. But I don’t have the time to look over a project that big. I’m already struggling with how I’m going to fit everything in our short time constraint. It’s only me and I’m barely managing as it is. This would take time and effort that I can’t spare right now.”

“That’s fine!” Allie quickly interjected. She searched her bag for her blue notebook. “I can do it all myself. I already have a plan and everything, see?”

She handed her notebook–open to the page with all her notes and ideas–and Ms. Hernandez took it hesitantly. She flipped through Allie’s notes without a word. Allie tugged at her ear–her nervous twitch–and waited.

“This is very thorough, Allie.” Ms. Hernandez smirked. “Though, I don’t know what else I would expect from a Pressman.”

Allie smiled, even though the comment stung a little bit. She couldn’t even do something good without being immediately compared to Cassandra. 

Ms. Hernandez adjusted her glasses on her head. “Do you really think you can get Mr. Wilson on board?”

Allie nodded. Mr. Wilson was the band teacher, and Allie was counting on his help–his and his after school’s jazz band–to get this accomplished. 

Ms. Hernandez looked her up and down before sighing, a small smile playing at her lips. “Well, alright. I trust you and if you really want to go after this I give you my permission to make this happen. But I’m serious, Allie. I don’t want this causing too much trouble.”

Allie took her notebook back and eagerly affirmed. “It won’t.” 

* * *

“No.”

Allie refrained from groaning out loud. _Seriously?_ What was it with teachers just immediately saying no to a time-consuming project that gave no financial retribution whatsoever? Oh…right.

“Mr. Wilson, I know this is a big thing to commit to–”

“Yes, it is Allie.” He interrupted. “The jazz band is an after school band of the best players. Every piece we learn takes months. We’re already working on our number for the Winter Concert. I don’t know how you expect us to make the time for coming up with and learning a soundtrack to an entire show.”

Mr. Wilson was a man well into his forties with greying hair. He was the type of teacher that wore those “quirky” ties with quarter notes on them and had colorful posters on the wall saying ‘Perfect practice makes perfect’. Allie had been in his band class once in freshman year (she played the trumpet and was absolutely terrible) but had always been the best student. Hopefully being a teacher’s pet would benefit her now.

“Please, Mr. Wilson. This is important. It’s the school production of ‘Romeo and Juliet’ which is a quality of play we haven’t done in ages. You must know better than anyone how much a soundtrack is essential to making any production good. As I recall you talked about the importance of soundtracks before we performed the Imperial March in the Spring Concert.” 

The man gave a hesitant sigh, obviously flattered that Allie would remember a speech from years back. It also served as another reminder that Allie had been one of his pupils. 

“You do know this will take an absurd amount of time, don’t you?”

“Yes, I do.”

“And Ms. Hernandez is okay with this?”

“Yes, she is.”

Mr. Wilson rubbed his eyes. “I’m probably going to regret this but fine. I’ll do it.”

Allie grinned and all but jumped with excitement. She was actually going to do this. She was a drinking-tea-illicitly-in-a-classroom-badass who was getting shit done! “Thank you so much, Mr. Wilson! _Thank you!_ ”

Mr. Wilson laughed. “Your welcome. Now I will agree to ask the jazz band to perform but they have to agree. I’m not forcing anyone to do it unless they want to.”

“That’s completely understandable.”

“Also, I can help teach them the score, but I won’t write the score. You’ll have to get someone else to do it.”

“Oh.” Some of Allie’s enthusiasm dimmed. What did she know about writing an original score? Absolutely nothing that’s what. “Um… do you have any recommendations on who could?”

* * *

“No.”

Allie didn’t hold back her groan this time (she wasn’t in the presence of a teacher anymore, mind you. It was only Gordie). Three no’s in one day. That had to be a record. But if she had managed to convince two teachers to help her then she could convince Gordie as well.

“Please Gordie. You’re the only one who can help me, you musical genius.” 

He gave her a look. “Did you even know I was a ‘musical genius’ before today?”

A pause. “Well…no.”

Gordie rolled his eyes and started to walk away from her. Allie followed him down the hall. God, she should have made Cassandra ask. That girl could ask Gordie to walk on water and he would scramble to find a way immediately. But _no_. Allie would not manipulate someone’s feelings for her own gain. That was just cruel.

She would have to convince him the usual way: flattery. “Please, Gordie. I just didn’t know because I assumed you were just a ‘regular genius’, I didn’t know it was even possible to be both.”

He rolled his eyes. “Do you even know how much time this would take? It’s the first semester of my senior year, Allie. I barely have time to think.”

“I know but think of how amazing it would be to hear everyone playing your compositions in front of the whole school. When do you think the next time an opportunity like this will come up after you graduate?”

He shook his head, but Allie could see the idea churning in his head.

“How would I even go by this? I have no idea what tone you want each piece to be or even which moments you expect me to write for.”

He was talking logistics. That was a good sign.

“I can help with that! I wrote my ideas down here… ” She pulled her blue notebook out of her bag and handed it to him. “You can take it for now and look over it. See if it gives you any ideas. We can also meet every week or something and just work on it together. If that will help.”

He stopped walking and turned to face her. “You promise, you’ll help me? I won’t do this if you just leave me hanging.”

Allie smiled, sensing her victory. “I promise. We can schedule the meetings now if you like.”

Gordie nodded. “Alright. Saturday afternoon. Come to my place around three.”

“Done.”

He said goodbye and walked down the hallway. Allie grinned at his back and punched her fist into the air, not caring about all the people around her looking at her like she was crazy.

This was actually happening. _She_ was making this happen. This show was going to be fucking awesome and Allie was going to make sure of it.

* * *

Allie came to rehearsal with a new sense of confidence. Maybe it was because she was getting the play some _live music_ or maybe it was because she had spent hours yesterday ignoring her AP Lang essay (it’s fine, she had a free before class) going over her lines instead. She spoke them out loud, pacing her room until the words felt comfortable on her lips. Or maybe it was because she had listened to Lizzo almost non-stop and was feeling like a bad bitch.

She was one of the last to arrive. Everyone was already gathered on stage just talking between themselves.

Allie smiled when she saw Helena marking off a section near the front of the stage with black tape–the space that would open up for the orchestra pit. Holy shit. They were going to block taking that lack of space in mind. It was real. It was happening.

“Woah, woah. Helena, what are you doing?” Harry asked, walking over. “Has there been a murder of a massive trapezoid we haven’t heard about?”

Harry looked around the group as a couple of them laughed. She’d noticed that the first time she was Assistant Stage Manager. Whenever Harry was with the whole cast, his jokes got louder, his grins got wider, and he always looked around as if to gouge their reaction. It was like he needed their approval. He needed to feel like the star even just in front of the crew. 

“No.” Helena didn’t even spare Harry a look. “Ms. Hernandez told me to mark off the pit for blocking.”

Harry frowned. “The pit? Why are we using the pit?” 

“Because the band needs somewhere to go…” Helena said as if it were obvious.

“The band? Why would we need a band if this isn’t a musical?”

“I’m glad you asked, Harry.” Ms. Hernandez’ voice blared through the theatre. She was holding her usual binder full of notes and loose papers. “I believe that’s something our Juliet can answer.”

Allie froze and all eyes turned towards her. She felt her cheeks warm up and cursed herself in her head. What the fuck had happened to being a drinking-tea-illicitly-in-a-classroom-badass?

She cleared her throat and lifted her chin, forcing herself to stand tall despite all their questioning and judging stares. “We’re going to have the jazz band playing a soundtrack.”

“A soundtrack?” Lexie repeated. Her voice dripped with sass.

Allie nodded and resisted the urge to tug her ear. _I’m a bad bitch, this is a good idea and I will not falter._ “Yeah. An original score actually.”

No one said anything. They all just stared at her in shock. Allie met Will’s eyes, silently begging him to voice support for her idea but he said nothing. His face was a black canvas.

Allie was surprised when _Harry_ was the first one to speak. “Well, I think that’s pretty cool.”

They made eye-contact. A little smile playing at his lips that she couldn’t read. He actually looked somewhat…impressed. Allie smiled back.

“I think so too.” Ms. Hernandez added. She gave Allie a wink and walked the steps up to the stage. “Now, for today I think we should start with blocking Act I Scene 1. It’s the first scene and it sets the tone for the entire show. We need to get it perfectly. I need Sampson and I need Gregory. As for everyone else, remember what I always say: even if you’re not on stage you can still find a way to be productive. Go over your lines, do some homework or whatever. Just be ready for when I call on you and _don’t_ _disrupt_ the people that are on stage.”

Everyone slowly moved off the stage to settle down on the space between the stage and the seats. Allie took a seat in the front row. She was in the midst of opening her bag for her Pre-Calc homework when Will took the seat next to her.

“Why didn’t you tell me about this?”

Allie flinched at his tone. Why was he so mad? “I just didn’t want to say anything before I had it figured out. Besides, I’ve barely seen you the past couple days. Where have you been?”

He looked caught off guard for a moment. But then his anger returned. “It doesn’t matter. You should’ve told me about this. Why wouldn’t you talk about this with me first?”

Allie gave a laugh in disbelief. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know I had to ask for _your_ _permission_.” He opened his mouth to reply but she cut him off. “I didn’t tell you because this was something I wanted to figure out _myself_. Is that really so bad?”

Will didn’t say anything for a moment. He just stared at her, like he was looking for something but Allie had no idea what. He eventually sighed, admitting defeat. “No, it isn’t. It’s just… something seems different about you.”

Allie shrugged and pulled out her homework on her lap. “I’m just getting stuff done. Oh, I also drank tea inside the classroom.”

His jaw dropped, amusement in his eyes. “You didn’t.”

“I did.” 

“You absolute rebel.”

“I try.”

“Hey, Allie. Can I talk to you for a moment?”

They broke from the conversation to address the newcomer. Elle hovered above them. 

Allie nodded quickly. “Sure.”

“Well–” Elle took a seat at Allie’s other side. “–I wanted to volunteer to be part of the band. I play the piano and the violin and I think it would be fun. I’m not on stage that often so I thought I would be more useful down on the pit. What do you think?”

Allie blinked. _Holy shit, was she someone people would come to with things?_ She was never that person. She was the person who asked, not the person who had the answers. “Um… I think that sounds like a great idea. Talk to Ms. Hernandez about it and see what she thinks.” 

Elle smiled. “Cool, thanks.”

She moved to leave when Allie got an idea and stopped her. “Wait! How long have you played the violin?”

Elle shrugged. “I don’t know, like since I was 8.”

“Perfect. Are you doing anything this Saturday?”

“Uh…no I don’t think so.”

“Great. I’m working with Gordie on the original score and I think we could really use your help. You interested?”

Elle blinked, obviously surprised at the suggestion. But she nodded eagerly with a grin. “Yeah. I’d love that.”

“Cool. I’ll send you the address.”

“Okay.” She left with a wave and Allie smiled after her. She always thought the violin was the most beautiful instrument in any piece. Having an expert violinist would sure come in handy.

She faced forward again and saw that Will was staring at her as if she’d grown another head. “What?”

He shook himself off and looked away. “Nothing.” 

“Okay…” She turned back to her work. 

Unsurprisingly, they spend the entire rehearsal on the first scene. The fighting in the beginning took the bulk of it. It was hard to get the tension right between the houses, and Ms. Hernandez got really frustrated at the boys. They managed to get a little past Romeo’s first arrival when Ms. Hernandez called it a day.

Allie was a little disappointed. After all her extra practice, she didn’t even get to redeem herself for the table read. But that was just the way shows went sometimes. And at least she managed to be really productive with her homework.

“Hey, Little Pressman.”

Allie looked over her shoulder to see Harry approach her. “What do you want, Harry?” 

“I’m just wondering if you’re planning on gracing my car with your presence.”

Allie was stunned. Had he seriously just come to expect her to ride with him after rehearsals? Well, she had gone home with him after rehearsal so far. “Um…I wasn’t planning on it, no. I already have a ride.” Cassandra was staying after school that day too.

He gave a dramatic sigh. “Fine. I guess, I’ll just have to make do. See you around.”

“Yeah, see ya.”

Allie frowned at his back. Were they… friends, now? It was hard to tell but she guessed no. They were just friendly, but not actually friends. Whatever, it didn’t matter. Cassandra was waiting for her.

* * *

Before she knew it, it was Friday and Allie was overturning her entire wardrobe for something to wear. She called Becca and asked her what she was planning on wearing (a black long-sleeved crop top and mom jeans). It was helpful. Slightly. It’s just that it was a “Becca” outfit and she had no idea what an “Allie” outfit looked like.

She groaned and flopped onto her bed, not caring that she was crushing all her clothes in the process. She turned her head and looked over the polaroids on her wall. Becca had gotten her that polaroid and Allie had gone crazy over it. She had mostly taken pictures of landscapes which she’d taken whenever she travelled.

God, she was really running late. She still had to do her makeup. 

She peeled herself off her bed and faced her wardrobe again. She could do this. It was just an outfit.

Maybe she could wear her cardigan? No, not a cardigan. God, this was a party after all. She eventually settled for a dark blue top with red short sleeves from Brandy Melville. The way it clung to her tightly and left her stomach exposed made it seem much more party appropriate than her other choices. She put a jean jacket over it–it was still October after all–rolled up the sleeves a bit and walked out to where Becca and Sam were waiting.

She was about to open the door when Becca yelled at her. “Stop! Wait, right there. I want to record this.”

Allie smiled and struck a pose. Becca grinned back at her, leaning over the open window to snap a picture with her phone. “Gorgeous!”

“Okay, can I come in now?”

“Yup.”

Allie smiled and slid into the backseat. Becca’s Pump Up playlist was already blasting through the speakers and Allie spent the ride nodding her head along. 

Before long, they pulled up outside of Clark’s house. It was already spilling over with people. Music was blasting so loud it could be heard from the street. 

They walked inside and Allie found it was exactly what she expected. There was a make-shift dance floor somewhere near the back. Clark and Jason were kicking some random person’s ass at beer pong (it didn’t surprise her that they were exceptionally good at that).

Becca led them further into the house, where all the drinks were laid out on the kitchen table. A keg right by it on the floor. Becca pulled out two bottles of Smirnoff Ice and put them on the table with the others. At Allie’s questioning gaze she shrugged. “It’s BYOB and I’m not rude.”

Allie smiled and grabbed a red solo cup.

“Shots?” Sam asked.

“Yeah! Let’s do tequila.” Allie answered, already reaching for the bottle of tequila. Becca got them some limes and salt. 

They knocked back their shots and Allie failed to hold back a grimace. God, that was gross. But maybe it would dissipate some of the awkwardness she was feeling at the bottom of her stomach. 

Allie poured some vodka into her cup and then filled the rest with orange juice. “It’s like a vodka mimosa.”

Sam scrunched his nose. “Looks disgusting.”

Allie nodded. “Oh, it is. But it does it’s job well.” She took a large sip. 

Sam opted for a rum and coke and Becca filled hers with whisky. They went out back into the living room. Becca pulled out her phone as if on instinct, and started to take pictures. 

Allie just stayed back with Sam and watched her classmates make fools out of themselves. There was nothing like drunkenly bonding with people you would otherwise never talk to.

“Hey, Allie. Sam.”

Allie smiled as Grizz approached them. “Hey, Grizz. How are you doing?”

“Pretty good. What about you guys?” 

Sam shrugged and answered out loud. “Honestly, we aren’t drunk enough yet.”

Allie gave a laugh and so did Grizz. He seemed unusually shy, which was weird. 

She looked down at her drink and found it empty. Already? Well, Allie did this thing where she took a sip every time she felt awkward which was _not_ a good idea. “Speaking of, I’m going to get another. I’ll be right back.” 

She left Grizz and Sam and made her way back to the kitchen. She skidded to a stop at the doorway when she saw who was inside.

Will and Kelly. _Kissing_.

_What the fuck?_

The couple jumped apart and snapped their heads towards Allie. Oh God, did she say that out loud?

“Um… don’t mind me. I’m just gonna–” She pointed over her shoulder with her thumb. Her eyes looked anywhere but Will’s. “–yeah.”

She turned around and fled the kitchen without her drink. 

“Allie, wait.”

Will’s hand grabbed her wrist and Allie turned to face him. She forced her face to stay neutral, trying not to let him see how much _that_ had affected her.

“I wanted to tell you but…”

“But what?” Allie asked, some emotion seeping into her voice against her will. “Why didn’t you tell me that you finally got with the girl you’ve obviously been crushing on for _years_.”

He shifted on his feet, suddenly becoming even more awkward with the conversation. “I-I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”

Allie froze. _No_ . He didn’t–he _couldn’t_ know. “Why would this hurt my feelings?”

He sighed. “Are you really going to make me say it?”

“Since I have no idea what you’re talking about, _yes,_ I want you to say it.”

“Fine. I didn’t want to say anything because of your crush on me, Allie.”

He said it like it was something vile. Like even the possibility of Allie liking him that way felt wrong. 

She couldn’t process this right, not in her increasingly–but still slightly–drunk state. But what she knew for sure was that she was angry. _What a dick._ “Fuck you, Will. And you don’t have to worry about my ‘crush’ on you any longer. Just…don’t talk to me.”

She turned away and stormed off without giving him a chance to reply. He was such a dick and how dare he be so rude to her when she was his best friend and who gave him the right to be so self-entitled and _ugh_.

Allie finally found Becca. “Hey–wait, what’s wrong?”

Allie didn’t reply. She just grabbed Becca’s drink–filled with cheap whisky–and knocked it back in one gulp. She grimaced and gave Becca her cup back. “I’m pissed and I just want to get fucking wasted and dance until I pass out. You in?”

Becca blinked but nodded, a grin creeping up her face. “I’m so in.”

They made their way to the dance floor after chugging a couple more drinks. Allie was just _done_ and she wanted to have fun. Everything became a little blurry (in the best way) after that. She danced, and danced, until the smile returned on her face. At some point in the middle of a remixed version of Personal Jesus, Gwen and Helena joined their dance circle.

It was so crowded in there that they could barely dance without being knocked over by someone else. But Allie didn’t really care. She was drunk and this was fun and a great distraction just like she wanted.

Someone bumped into her and she stumbled forward, straight into Harry Bingham. He caught her easily, his hands coming to grab her arms at either side to steady her. He was grinning down at her. “I think you might have had a little too much to drink there.”

She swallowed and stared up at him. She didn’t step away from his grasp, in fact, she thought she was inching even closer. “Your ex-girlfriend is dating my best friend.”

His grin disappeared. He licked his lips and clenched his jaw. He didn’t move away from her either. “I know.”

He cared as much as she did, that much was clear. 

Harry was also standing _right fucking there_ , looking more handsome than she’d ever seen. And maybe it was the alcohol in her brain telling her this was a good idea. Or maybe it was the fact that she was _furious,_ and this felt like the biggest ‘fuck you’ to Will she could manage at the moment. Or maybe it was because he looked down at her lips and Allie caught herself wondering if he was as good a kisser as people claimed him to be.

Honestly…she didn’t really think it through all that much. Allie just wanted to kiss him, and she was tired of other people’s opinions getting in the way. 

She grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him forward to press her lips against his. He stumbled slightly in surprise. But not before long he responded, kissing her back as his arms wrapped around her. Her hands came up to his hair, pulling him closer to kiss him with renewed fervor. 

Music blared in her ears, reminding her that they weren’t in fact alone. She didn’t really care. All she really cared about right now was Harry’s moan against her lips when she pushed up against him. His hands came up her crop top to stroke the bare skin on her back and Allie sighed and kissed him harder in response.  
  
This was what you were supposed to do at sixteen right? Get drunk and kiss someone you absolutely shouldn’t?

With a final sigh, she pulled away from him. Her hands leaving his hair to rest on his chest. She met his eyes and felt some sort of pride at the absolute wrecked expression on his face. “Thank you for that. But now, I just kinda wanna dance with my friends.”

She patted his chest twice and pulled away from his grasp without another word. 

She made her way back to her group of friends who whooped loudly when she returned. She laughed and tugged Becca into a one-armed hug.

“Did you just make out with Harry fucking Bingham?”

Allie couldn’t really believe it herself. “Uhh, yeah I think I did.”

Some part of Allie’s brain told her that it was wrong, that she should be reprimanded for that immediately. But then Becca laughed and yelled “You go, girl!” and that part of Allie’s brain shut up for the rest of the night.

Besides, why would she worry about _boys_ and all that bullshit when she could just dance with her friends instead? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments are always appreciated. 
> 
> you can find me on tumblr at @brazilianchild.


	5. you'll be the prince and i'll be the princess

“Wake up, Al. It’s past noon.”

Allie groaned and buried her head further into her pillow. She ignored the light prodding at her shoulder and chose to listen to the pounding in her head, which was begging for her to go back to sleep.

“Come on, Allie. I made you some tea to help you with your hangover.”

Allie groaned again but opened her eyes slowly. Her throat felt like sandpaper and she honestly felt like she would puke if she stood up too fast.

Cassandra was sitting at the edge of her bed, holding a cup of tea that looked inviting and yet still made her stomach curl. 

Allie sat up as slow as she could and wrapped her blankets around herself to cover everything but her face. She took the cup from Cassandra and blew on the tea. She took a tentative sip and when her stomach didn’t protest Allie felt it was safe to take a bigger sip. 

“Fun night?”

“Too fun.” Allie murmured.

“Yeah, I can imagine.” Cassandra pulled her phone up and showed her something that made Allie cringe. It was a picture of her making out with someone who was obviously Harry Bingham.

Allie panicked. “Where did you get that?”

“Becca posted it on her Close Friends story. Care to explain?”

“Um…” She snuck a look at the picture. No, there was no way she could deny any of this with the way it captured her arching up into him or his hands up the back of her shirt. “I honestly don’t know how.”

Cassandra dropped her phone. Frustration and disbelief clear on her face. “Allie, _what were you thinking?”_

Allie pulled the blankets tighter around her. “Ow, not so loud. And I wasn’t thinking! I was just drunk and pissed off at Will and he was right there and then it just happened.”

“Seriously? You couldn’t find anyone better besides _Harry Bingham?_ You know how he is, Allie.”

“I’m sorry.” She pleaded. Her head was thumping again. “It happened. It won’t happen again. There’s nothing I can do about it now.”

Cassandra scrutinized her for a good long moment before eventually sighing. “As long as you know it for the colossal mistake it is, then _fine_. At least you got some practice for your kissing scene.”  
  
“Oh nooooo…” Allie tugged the blanket around to cover her face as she groaned. “I didn’t even think of that. Oh God, it’s gonna be so awkward.”

She could hear Cassandra’s sigh even through the blanket. “Yes, it will. I also suggest you wash your mouth thoroughly. I mean, you have no idea what type of diseases you could’ve contracted from that kiss.”

Allie popped her head out the blankets. “That’s not funny.”

“I never said I was kidding.” Cassandra said with a smirk. “Well, I’ll leave you to your embarrassment.” She made to leave but thought better of it and sat back down. “Allie, you’re better than making out with guys at parties. You’re worth so much more than dirty hookups, and you’re definitely worth more than Harry Bingham. You know that right?”

Allie hesitated. What was so wrong with kissing a guy at a party? Just because Cassandra didn’t do it did it mean it was somehow wrong and immoral? She sighed. “I know.”

Cassandra smiled, obviously pleased with her answer. “Good. Now, get dressed. You have to meet with Gordie in a couple hours.”

Allie groaned and fell back into her bed instead. Nothing sounded less appealing than leaving the comfort of her bed right now.

* * *

Gordie opened the door and looked her up and down. “You look like you’ve been through hell.”

Allie gave him a sarcastic smile. “Thanks.” 

She knew she looked horrible. She was wearing an old grey sweatshirt (the first thing she had found) and leggings. She had hastily put her hair up in a ponytail and slapped on some sunglasses that did not help her look any less hungover. His comment didn’t make her feel any better though.

He seemed a little bit apologetic for his bluntness. “Want some tea?”

“God, yes.”

The green mint tea made her feel a little bit better. Gordie even put a little bit of honey just the way she liked. He was observant like that.

She hadn’t been to Gordie’s house that often, but she felt that she should’ve known that Gordie had a music room this big. It was laden with instruments and recording devices. He had a piano _and_ a keyboard that seemed hooked to his laptop somehow. Her blue notebook was sitting open on the desk in the corner. She took a seat on the dark blue couch against the wall. “This is insane, Gordie.”  
  
He shrugged, taking a seat at the desk. “It’s alright.” He opened up his laptop and started typing away. “Okay, I’ve been looking through your notes and I’ve already come up with some ideas if you want to hear them.”

“Really? Awesome.”

She stood up to look over his shoulder and saw that he had some sort of music software open. It was open to some sheet music, already filled with notes that Allie could vaguely read from her time in band. God, that had been forever ago. Her ability to read music was a little rusty. 

“Now, your notes talked about the Romeo and Juliet death sequence. Of course, this one should be dark and…and emotional…and painful. I thought we could start off with some cello, right when Romeo walks into the crypt and finds Juliet. As he goes on with his monologue, I was thinking a violin would come in as well, and really just show his _aching_ at holding his wife dead in his arms.”

“Wow.” Allie started smiling, reading the different bars and trying to picture how it would sound. He had written so much and in what? _Three days?_ “Gordie, I’m impressed. I can’t believe you actually came up with all of this so fast.”

Gordie shrugged. “It’s really not a big deal.”

Allie knew too well Gordie’s tendency to be modest but she would not let him downplay this. “No, it is a big deal. Thank you, Gordie. I really, really appreciate it.”  
  
He smiled at her.

A doorbell rang in the distance and he jumped up. “That must be Elle.”  
  
She followed him down the stairs and smiled when she saw Elle hanging by the doorstep, her violin case in hand. “Hi.”

“Hey, come on in.” Gordie stepped back to let her through.

They went up the stairs and Allie made sure to catch Elle’s expression when they entered Gordie’s music room. The way her eyes widened told her she was just as impressed as Allie was. 

Gordie took a seat in front of his computer again. “Me and Allie were just looking over some things I came up with.”  
  
Elle walked over to read Gordie’s screen. “Wow. This is pretty good.”

“Do you want to give it a whirl?” Gordie asked, with a tentative smile. Allie had to assume this was the first time the pair had ever spoken to each other. But Gordie had been okay with letting Elle help them, so it would probably be fine. 

“Yeah, sure.” She started to open her case. “I just have to tune my violin first.”

Elle took the time to do just that. Allie just sipped her tea and looked over her blue notebook, which she had taken back from Gordie’s desk. 

“Okay. I’m ready, let me see the screen.” Gordie tilted the laptop to face her and Elle squinted at the screen for a couple moments. She straightened up and started to play. The notes were slow and dragged out. Allie couldn’t help but rest her head on her hand to watch as she got hit with a wave of melancholy. Gordie was right. She could _feel_ the pain. She could see it so clearly. Harry holding her body as he gave his monologue, bringing tears to everyone in the audience. A tragedy.

Elle stopped and sunk back into her normal posture. Her smile broke Allie of whatever sadness had overcome her. “Yeah. I really like that.”

Gordie grinned. “Cool.” He turned back to his laptop. “It could still use some work and I’m not really sure about this measure right here.”

Elle scratched her head and nodded to Allie’s notebook. “Are those your ideas?”

“Mhm.” Allie nodded and handed it to her.

Elle took the notebook and sat down next to her. She read through Allie’s notes with a slight furrow to her brow. “Wait… I actually have been tinkering with this melody for a while that I think will work well. Here.” She gave Allie her book back and jumped up from the couch to take a seat by the piano. 

Elle spared Gordie a glance. “May I?”

He nodded. “Yeah, go ahead.”

Elle faced the piano again and took a second before pressing the keys. It was a simple melody. Light and breezy that made Allie think of fairytales and bright meadows. 

She dropped her fingers from the keys and turned to face them anxiously. “What do you guys think?”

“I love it.” Allie admitted. “It’s so pretty and delicate. It would be perfect for the wedding or something.”

Gordie nodded. His eyes were slightly dazed as they usually were when he was deep in thought. “It’s really good. And wait… what about after this we have _this_.” He stood up and walked over to sit on the seat beside Elle and played a melody that seemed to compliment the one Elle had just played. 

Elle grinned. “That’s so good.”  
  
“We have to write it down.” Gordie said and jumped over back to his desk. He played the tune on the keyboard, which Allie found out was connected to his laptop and would instantly write down the notes for them. Genius.

They did that for a couple hours: brainstorm and bounce ideas off each other. Sometimes it would come to nothing and they would have to scratch it completely. They’d barely gotten more than two minutes of a track nearing a ‘relatively good’ first draft.

But Allie was pleased to see they all seemed to work pretty well together. She got more excited with every minute she spent there. She couldn’t believe this was actually happening. 

She was so immersed in the process that she didn’t check her phone for several hours. When she finally did, she found the usual messages from Cassandra, a couple from Becca asking if she was still alive after last night and unsurprisingly, none from Will. 

She checked her email and internally screamed. Ms. Hernandez had sent the rehearsal schedule for the coming weeks. Apparently rehearsals on Monday were just for Harry and Allie. Great. _Fantastic_. Who wouldn’t want to spend hours with the guy you drunkenly made out with and ditched with barely an explanation? 

* * *

Allie had never dreaded going to school so much. She spent all of Sunday holed up in her room avoiding her family and especially Cassandra, who would sometimes give her worried looks that made Allie want to snap. She wasn’t a little bird that had to be nurtured and protected. Harry wasn’t a wolf who had tricked her and torn her apart. She was the one who had kissed _him_ . She was very much capable of her own decisions. But something about telling Cassandra that, that she had _wanted_ to kiss him. It felt… _bigger_ somehow.

Anyway, she spent most of Sunday with only Netflix as company (mostly Outer Banks). 

The first person she saw on Monday was Becca. The brunette met her in the hallway and linked her arm in hers with a smirk. “How was your weekend? Do anything interesting?”

Allie laughed and pushed against her shoulder. “Shut up!”

Becca laughed too. “But seriously I had a good time. We should do it again sometime.”

Allie nodded. “We should. But hey, your photo got me in trouble.”

“Which photo?”

“The one where I’m sucking the face of the one person Cassandra would disapprove of.”

“ _Ahhh_ . That one.” Becca shrugged, something in her face a little _too_ knowing. “I thought I should record the preview of ‘Romeo and Juliet’. Who knows? I might even put it on the poster.”

“Don’t even joke about that, Becca. I will fucking kill you.”

Becca laughed. “I won't, I won’t. I promise. But you have to admit that you _jumped_ him.” She smirked. “Not that it looked like he was complaining.”

Allie rolled her eyes and stopped walking in front of her locker. “I was drunk, okay? Besides, it was extremely stupid considering I have to go up and work with him for months.” She sighed and opened up her locker. “Which I have to do later today.” She gave Becca a desperate look. “We’re doing the balcony scene.”

Becca pulled a face. “Oh yikes. Tough luck.”

“I know.”

Becca gave a look over her shoulder and inched closer to Allie. Her voice dropped significantly. “Are you going to tell me what happened that night?”

Allie tensed. She feigned confusion when she knew exactly what Becca was talking about. “What do you mean?”  
  
“Allie…something definitely upset you and if you want to talk about it, I’m here.”

She looked over at Becca and gave her a soft smile. “Thanks.” She sighed and closed her locker, then turned to lean against it. “Just… Will was a dick that’s all. Don’t really want to go into details.”

“Okay.” Becca nodded and thankfully, didn’t press any further.

“Come on, we’ll be late for Lang.”

* * *

Allie paused in front of the theatre, taking a second to recompose herself. She could do this. It was just the balcony scene and it was just Harry. She stood by her actions on Friday and she had nothing to be ashamed of. She was a professional and she could handle this. She was pulling off an original score for this play for God’s sake.

She took another breath and opened the door. Ms. Hernandez and Harry were talking near the stage, his back to her. Ms. Hernandez caught sight of her and brightened.

“Great, Allie! You’re here. We can get started.”

Harry looked over his shoulder and their eyes met. She could handle this, she would _not_ blush. _Oh God, maybe this was actually gonna work_ –

And then he smirked.

 _Dick._ She thought, feeling her cheeks warm up immediately. 

* * *

“Okay. We don’t have our balcony yet. I’ve been talking to Grizz, he’s going to be doing our set, and he has this big plan of having a balcony and these sort of steps you’ll have to climb, Harry. It’s going to be amazing. But for now, we’ll use the risers. Go on up, Allie.”

Allie eyed the risers. She hadn’t seen them on stage since her 8th grade choir concert (she had been in the back and was directly covered by Lexie for most of the show). She pursed her lips and climbed the steps.

She kept her eyes on Ms. Hernandez and avoided Harry completely. God, how was she supposed to act in love with him when she couldn’t even _look_ at him?

Ms. Hernandez set her binder on the floor, laying it open so Allie could all of the scribbles that littered the page. Ms. Hernandez stood up, reading her notes from a distance. “Okay.” She looked up and addressed the pair of them. “So, Romeo and Juliet have already met at the party, exchanged a couple kisses and found out they were from rival houses. Now, Romeo has just snuck away from Benvolio and Mercutio to see Juliet again, and he finds her on the balcony talking to herself.”

She faced Harry. “Romeo. You’ve just become completely enamored with this girl, only to find out she was a Capulet. You’ve kissed, and now she slipped away from you.” Harry cleared his throat and Allie fixed her eyes on the ceiling, her cheeks feeling very _very_ warm. _I wanna die. I wanna die. I wanna die._ “And despite finding out she’s a Capulet, you still love her. You’ve come to see her one more time and you stare at her in a slightly creepy but mostly romantic way.”

She turned toward Allie. “Juliet. Right now, you’re just going out here to think. Because you’ve also found yourself in the same situation. Even though he’s a Montague, you’ve kissed him and you’ve been vulnerable like that with him. For you, _it means something_ .” Allie’s eyes widened and she pursed her lips to hold back a yelp. _Ms. Hernandez is doing this on purpose, I swear to God._ “You still haven’t seen him, so for now just look out at the audience.”

 _Yes_. Avoiding Harry was definitely something she could do.

“Okay, Romeo. Take it away.”

Harry cleared his throat. “ _He jests at scars that never felt a wound._ ”

The script indicated that this is where Juliet entered and Allie took a couple awkward steps forward.

Harry kept going. _“But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon, who is already sick and pale with grief, that thou, her maid, art far more fair than she.”_

As always, his execution was flawless. He was making the poetry come alive, and for a second Allie did feel as beautiful as the words implied. But she didn’t dare look at him. She was either looking at the book she was clutching or out into the audience. 

They went through his monologue pretty quickly. Ms. Hernandez interrupted him once or twice to fix where he was standing or give him a direction or two.

Allie took a deep breath preparing herself for her own monologue. She could do this. She had practiced this several times. This didn’t involve Harry or whatever awkward thing was going between them right now. _This_ was about Juliet and finding out that her love was actually her enemy. 

She _was_ Juliet, now. She stared at the audience seats before her and pictured a garden. The moon shining down above them, the only light of that night. _“O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name. Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, and I’ll no longer be a Capulet.”_

_“Shall I hear more, or shall I speak at this?”_

Allie remembered reading this monologue in 9th grade, when her class had read “Romeo and Juliet” together. She remembered looking over these lines, being forced to highlight certain literary devices as her teacher garbled on and on about something she didn’t understand. She just couldn’t see it. She was too young to look at the words closely. Now, she could _see it._

 _“'Tis but thy name that is my enemy. Thou art thyself, though not a Montague. What’s Montague?”_ She dropped the book slightly, looking up at the audience for answers. She was pretty familiar with this monologue at this point, allowing her some freedom from just staring at the page searching for the words. 

_“It is nor hand, nor foot, nor arm, nor face, nor any other part belonging to a man. O, be some other name! What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other word would smell as sweet. So Romeo would, were he not Romeo called, Retain that dear perfection which he owes without that title. Romeo, doff thy name, and for that name, which is no part of thee take all myself.”_

A moment of silence followed. Allie looked to Harry for the first time since rehearsal started. He was staring up at her. His mouth slightly open and his book hung loose in his hand. Her eyes widened slightly to prompt his line. 

He jumped. “Right.” He stepped forward. She still towered over him on top of the risers. _“Take thee at thy word. Call me but love, and I’ll be new baptized. Henceforth I never will be Romeo.”_

He was so close to her now. She wasn’t just speaking to the audience anymore. She was speaking to Romeo, to _Harry_ . Memories of Friday night came to her and she felt her cheeks warm up again. She tensed and stared down at her script. _“What man art thou that, thus bescreened in night, so stumblest on my counsel?”_

 _Dear God._ That sounded stiff and lifeless even to her. Whatever momentum she had found in her monologue was gone. She wasn’t Juliet anymore. She was Allie speaking lines to a boy she desperately wanted to avoid.

Ms. Hernandez stepped forward, scratching the back of her head. “Allie. Here Juliet is surprised, maybe even defensive. She just confessed all of that to find that someone had listened. Try that again.”

Allie nodded, a stiff smile on her face. She tried again and it was slightly better. She just couldn’t shake the feeling of having Harry _right there_ off. It made her tense up and shut down. She couldn’t bring herself to feel the words again.

They trudged along the scene, oh so slowly. Allie was horrible and Ms. Hernandez kept trying to help her but she just _couldn’t_. This was supposed to be a heartfelt and emotional scene and yet it was coming off as something out of a robot movie. 

She could tell that Ms. Hernandez was getting frustrated and Allie wanted to scream. She really shouldn’t have kissed him. She had promised herself nothing was going to get in the way and here she was letting Harry Bingham get in the way.

Harry swept a hand over his face. “Ms. H could we have a break?”

Ms. Hernandez sighed. “Yeah, sure that’s a good idea. 5 minutes and we’ll try this again.” She turned away and made her way down the steps. 

Allie groaned softly and thumped her play against her face. She felt someone push the play down to reveal her face slowly. Harry was looking at her with something akin resignation. “I think we need to talk.”

Allie shook her head. “I would really rather not do that.”

“Yeah I don’t really want to either but at this point, I think we have to.”

“There’s nothing _to_ talk about.”

Harry raised an eyebrow at her. “Really? Then what was that? You were incredible with your monologue but as soon as I came in you went all Captain Holt again.”

“ _Fine_ . It’s just weird because usually when something like _that_ happens–”

“You mean, when you jumped me and stuck your tongue down my throat.”

“I did _not_ jump you!”

Harry smirked and nodded, looking way too satisfied with himself. “I think you did.”

She huffed and stopped herself from smacking that smirk off his face. “Whatever. It doesn’t matter. The point is, I wasn’t looking for a love connection or anything too permanent.”

“Which you made abundantly clear when you walked away with barely an explanation.”

She ignored him and continued. _“The point is_ , that when something like that happens you usually expect never to see the other person again. It’s just weird having not only to follow up with a drunken hookup but to also have to play their freaking love interest.”

Harry grinned. “Yeah, it is pretty weird. Maybe you should’ve thought of that before kissing me.” 

She put her hands on her hips. She wasn’t going to take all of the fault for this. It did take _two…_ “Yeah, well it’s not like you pushed me off.”

He shrugged, a grin still on his face. “That I did not.” His hand came up to his hair and he sighed. His grin grew into something tamer. “How about this? We just forget that ever happened. Total clean slate. And we go into this as _just_ friends. Nothing more.”

Allie bit her lip. He looked genuine with his offer. Maybe it was because he didn’t want this play to suck, and if this continued it would most certainly happen. She considered it: being friends with Harry Bingham. It sounded pretty nice actually.

“Okay. But you can’t ever joke about or mention Friday again.”

He gave a single nod. “Deal. Friends?”

Her mouth quirked up to give him a small smile. “Friends.”

“Alright!” Ms. Hernandez called out and stepped back on stage. “That was five. You guys ready?”

They nodded and took their places. Allie held up her script and felt like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. He didn’t expect anything from her except from friendship. The air had been cleared. 

Ms. Hernandez flipped through her binder. “Let’s take it from line 66.”

Harry cleared his throat and started speaking before Allie could find the spot on the page. _“With love’s light wings did I o'erperch these walls, for stony limits cannot hold love out,”_ He started climbing further up the steps like they’d blocked previously until he was standing right in front of her. _“And what love can do, that dares love attempt. Therefore thy kinsmen are no stop to me.”_

Allie felt free to be Juliet again. She was a girl who was worried that her lover would be killed if they caught him. _Imagine her pain. Imagine the inner conflict at wanting to see him and yet, being so fucking scared for his safety at just being here._

_“If they do see thee they will murder thee.”_

_“Alack, there lies more peril in thine eye than twenty of their swords. Look thou but sweet, and I am proof against their enmity.”_

She looked up to meet Harry’s eyes. They were somewhat tentative, as if he was scared of ruining whatever agreement they’d come to earlier. She said her line looking him straight in the eye. She felt Juliet’s fear on her skin. _“I would not for the world they saw thee here.”_

 _“I have night’s cloak to hide me from their eyes,”_ He reached over and grabbed her hand. They hadn’t blocked that and yet, it felt like the most natural thing in the world. _“And but thou love me, let them find me here.”_ They kept their eyes glued on the other. Allie couldn’t imagine ever looking anywhere else but those intense brown eyes staring back at her. _“My life were better ended by their hate than death proroguèd, wanting of thy love.”_

Allie sighed, emotions getting the better of her at his speech. _What would it be like to be on the receiving end of such an intense passion and devotion?_

A burst of applause made Allie jump from her reverie. She pulled her hand back from his grasp and faced Ms. Hernandez. Her teacher was clapping wildly and smiling brightly. “That was amazing, you guys! Wow. We’re almost out of time and I think we should end it on that good note. You should be really proud.”

Ms. Hernandez looked at Allie at that last sentence and Allie felt her insides warm up. She gave her an awkward smile and tugged at her ear. 

“I’ll see you both on Wednesday.”  
  
“Bye.” Harry turned to Allie with a grin and raised his hand for a high-five. “That was fucking awesome, Little Pressman.” 

Allie laughed, not being able to help herself from sharing his enthusiasm, and complied with giving him a high-five.

“We should celebrate. Come on, let’s do something.”

Allie cocked her head. “What did you have in mind?”

He just grinned. “Do you trust me?”

“Not really.”

“Oof.” He put a hand over his heart. “You wound me.”

She replied in the most monotone voice possible. “Oh how will I ever sleep at night?”

“Okay, come on. Just trust me. Think of it as a little cast-bonding.”

“It’s literally just me and you.”

“We’re part of the cast. See? Cast-bonding. So, what do you say?”

Allie shook her head at his smirk, not being able to help the small smile that came up her own face. Why not, right? They _would_ be spending a lot of time together. “Fine. Let’s go.”

* * *

Allie never thought she would see the day where she would feel comfortable and familiar with a Maserati. But this was the third time she had been in Harry’s car and she felt a familiar easiness at the feel of the soft leather seats. It had _nothing_ to do with the boy driving next to her. Nothing at all.

She had texted her mom asking for permission to go out with “a couple other cast mates.” Which was basically just a formality. Her mother always said yes, so long as she asked first. Her phone pinged and she saw her mother had indeed let her go out.

“Here.” Harry gave her his phone. “Play something.”

She took his phone and saw that it was already open to Spotify. Wow. He really did trust her if he could just give her his phone unlocked. Well, she wouldn’t betray that.

She scrolled through his playlists searching through the weird playlist names. She furrowed her eyebrows at one called “PINK FLUFFY UNICORNS ARE AWESOME”. She clicked on it and found lots and lots of Disney songs and Taylor Swift. 

She smirked and put “Zero to Hero” from Hercules. 

He groaned and Allie just laughed. “Oh my God. I should’ve seen this coming.”

“Really? You didn’t think I’d be curious as to why you have a playlist with the words ‘pink fluffy unicorns'?”

He shook his head, but he was grinning. “That’s my sisters. My mom doesn’t let her have her own phone yet so she uses my Spotify.”

“Hey, I’m not complaining. She has good taste. Hercules was one of my favorites.” She clenched her hand into a fist and brought it to her mouth as if she was holding a fake microphone. _“_ _From zero to hero in no time flat. Zero to hero just like that!”_

He looked over to her, eyebrows raised. “Are you seriously doing this?”

Allie shrugged with a smile. She refused to be embarrassed. “I used to watch this so much that the DVD got scratched, so yes I am doing this. It’s my duty. I just have to.”

She sang the song until the end. Harry grinning and shaking his head the entire time. 

Allie had no idea why she felt this comfortable with him. She didn’t understand why she felt free to be so utterly stupid with him. She just did. 

The song came to a close and the next song came up automatically. It was “I See the Light” from Tangled. She loved that song. But it was too slow and she moved to change it when Harry gave a huff of laughter.

She raised her eyebrows at him. “What?”

He spared a look at her. “You don’t remember?”

“Remember what?”

“Oh come on. You _seriously_ don’t remember?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

He scrutinized her for a moment. “Wow, you really don’t remember, do you.”  
  
“I think we’ve clearly established I don’t remember whatever you’re talking about.”

“Okay, fine. Um… it was back when we were children and you were in some sort of Tangled obsession.”

Allie remembered that phase. She was _obsessed_ with Tangled. She would watch it over and over and over and would scream if anyone tried to get her to watch anything else. She would sing to the songs and she had all the costumes and she would braid her hair to look just like Rapunzels. She just had no idea how this involved Harry. “Yeah…and?”

Harry gave a single laugh, looking a little awkward. “And one day you found me playing in front of the house and grabbed me and dragged me over to the treehouse in your backyard.”

“Oh, _no_.”

“Oh, yes.” He smirked at her. “You climbed up to the top and forced me to be your Flynn Rider.”

She groaned and buried her face in her hands for a second. She could _vaguely_ remember that. She looked up from her hands to stubbornly stare him down, a small smile playing at her lips. “I did _not_ do that.”

“Hand to God. We stayed there for hours until Cassandra came out and made you go back inside.”

She looked at him incredulously. “Why didn’t you just leave?”

He shrugged. “I was going through my own Pirates of the Caribbean phase and saving a damsel in distress didn’t sound so bad. Besides, you were absolutely terrifying back then. No one could say no to you.”

She looked out the window. “I was such a dork.”

Harry immediately protested, shaking his head. “No, _no_. You were just… peculiar and intense.” He looked at her with something heavy. “I never said it was bad.”

She held his gaze, letting his words sweep over her. She didn’t know how to deal with them. “Thanks.”

She looked back out the window (away from his looks filled with promises and dangerous propositions) and thought of her as a child. Before they found out about Cassandra’s heart disorder. Before she promised herself she would never be a burden to her parents because they had enough to deal with. Before she settled into the shadows because it was just _easier_. 

That girl had been an absolute menace. She would go after she wanted and not give a shit about what anyone thought. She was a burning fire. _What had happened to her?_ When had Allie decided that being quiet and docile was better than making noise?

“We’re here.”

Allie jumped, too into her thoughts to realize the car had pulled to a spot. She looked out the window and saw they were in front of a short red building with a sign reading _Sal’s Pizza_. A wide window was open in the front with a counter in front of it. There was a couple chairs out in the grass and pavement by the building.

Harry walked over to the window and leaned across the counter. A short, plump man with a wide smile came up on the other side. “Hey, Sal.”

“Hey, Harry. How have you been doing? I heard you got the lead on the school play again. What is it now? The _fourth_ time you’ve been the lead?”

Harry smiled, as charming as always. “Something like that, but thank you. I’m actually here with my co-star.” He said nodding to Allie over his shoulder. The man, Sal, moved slightly to look at her.

She smiled awkwardly and gave a small wave. “Hi.”

He smiled back at her. “Nice to meet you.” He turned back to Harry. “So the usual?”

“Mhm.” Harry turned to look at Allie over his shoulder. “What topping do you want, Rapunzel?”

Allie glared at him but all he did was smile innocently. _Curse him and his stupid nicknames._ “Just pepperoni is fine. Thanks.”

“Wow, pretty basic there but whatever. To each their own.”

Harry, unsurprisingly, tried to pay for her but Allie insisted on paying her share. This wasn’t even a date after all. There was no reason for why she shouldn’t pay.

He led them to one of the tables by the side and Allie took a seat in one of the metal chairs. Harry leaned back on his chair, looking extremely comfortable. “It’ll be like 20 minutes.”

Allie nodded and looked around to fill the awkward silence. This was really weird. It was just them. Her and Harry Bingham. What could they even talk about? School? The play? Cassandra? _Oh no._ That last one was a huge no. 

“Um…so do you come here a lot?” Allie asked and then felt immediately stupid. _Of course,_ he came here a lot. The dude knew his _freaking_ name and order. 

But Harry didn’t seem to be bothered with the stupidity of the question. “Yeah, I do. We usually just order delivery.” He leaned forward to rest his arms on the metal table. His eyes looking towards the trees to their left. “If it was a particularly nice day we sometimes would get take-away and have a picnic by Minas pond.”

She propped up her chin on her hand and stared at him. He seemed softer now, just staring out into nothing as he delved into his memories. “That sounds nice.”

He smiled softly. “Yeah, it was. It was always my dad’s idea.”

Allie’s own smile wavered. She had never heard him talk about his dad before. To be fair, they’d barely talked about anything serious before. She didn’t know what to say.

Whatever softness had overcome him disappeared in a second. He leaned back again, going back to the Harry Bingham she was more familiar with. “Let’s play a game.”

She raised her eyebrows. “A game.”

“Yes, a game. Don’t worry, it’s not Spin the Bottle.” Allie rolled her eyes and Harry continued. “I was thinking more like Twenty Questions.”

“Twenty Questions?”

“Yes, you see. It’s the game where you each ask Twenty Questions and the other has to answ–”

 _“I know what Twenty Questions is.”_ Allie cut in. “I’m just wondering why you wanted to play that.”

Harry shrugged. “I don’t know, it’s just… we’re playing love interests, Little Pressman, and I just realized that I don’t really know you that well. Besides, the fact that you have a weird obsession with Disney princesses and you like sticking your tongue down the throats of unsuspecting boys at parties.”

_“You said you would never mention that again.”_

Harry scrunched his eyebrows. “What’s wrong with talking about your obsession with Disney princesses?”

Allie glared at him. _This little shit–_

She sighed. “Fine. But you have to answer _truthfully_ , no matter what.”

“I promise.”

“Not good enough.” She shook her head and raised a pinky. “You have to Pinky Promise.”

Harry raised an eyebrow but linked his pinky with hers. “I pinky promise.”

“Good.” She pulled her hand from his and leaned back to cross her arms. “Why do you like acting so much?”

Harry laughed. “Wow, we’re just getting right into it, huh?”

“I’m not one for beating around the bush.” She raised a finger to point at him. “And you have to answer honestly or I’ll swing at your balls with a wiffle ball bat.”

 _“What?_ When did I ever agree to that?”

She shrugged. “It’s what happens when you break a Pinky Promise.”

“Since when?”

“Since _always_. I don’t make up the rules. Now come on, answer. Why do you like acting so much?”

He was still looking her up and down warily, as if she had the wiffle ball bat hidden somewhere with her. He eventually sighed and scratched the back of his head. “I guess I’ve just always liked the appeal of being someone else for a little while. Acting… putting on a different face and pretending was always easy for me.”

She stared at him. She hadn’t been expecting him to be _that_ honest. “What–”

“Nuh-uh.” He said, shaking his finger. “It’s my turn.” He leaned forward and rested his forearms on the table. “Why did you want to play Juliet?”

Allie pursed her lips. She could lie. But he had answered honestly. She owed him the same. 

“I didn’t.” His eyebrows furrowed together; he hadn’t expected that. “But then I talked to Ms. Hernandez and I saw the appeal.” She shrugged, feeling awkward all of a sudden, and tugged at her ear. “I don’t know I’ve never acted in anything before and it sounded… kinda cool.”

He just stared at her for a moment before nodding slightly. “Okay.”

Allie shook herself off. “My turn. How are you and Elle such good friends?”

He tensed and leaned back again, shaking his head. “That’s not my secret to tell.”

“Harry–”

“No. Go ahead and swing at me with a fucking bat or whatever. I’ll answer truthfully about anything that’s mine to tell but this isn’t it. So just ask something else.”

Allie bit her lip. She wanted to prod and find out whatever it was that was making Harry so defensive. But she liked Elle and something in his face told her he was serious so she let it drop. “Okay. Um… what’s your favorite ice cream flavor?”

His eyebrows lifted slightly, revealing his surprise at the casual question. But he seemed to understand her desire to lighten things up. “Easy. Mint chocolate chip.”

Allie pulled a face. “Ewww, you’re one of those?”

“What? It’s the best flavor, hands down.”

“You disgust me. That stuff’s _nasty_. It just tastes like toothpaste.”

He scoffed. “Oh really, then what’s the best flavor Miss-Know-It-All?”

“Rocky road.”

“Wow. Rocky Road? Why am I not surprised that _Rapunzel_ has the same ice cream opinions as a first grader?”

“ _Hey!_ Rocky Road is a flavor for all ages, thank you very much.”

Thankfully, their bickering was interrupted with the arrival of their pizzas. But it only really managed to change _the topic_ of their bickering.

“Don’t even bother asking for a slice of mine, Little Pressman because you’re not getting one.”

“Yeah, as if I’d want a pizza with _mushrooms_.”

“At least my pizza isn’t basic and boring like just pepperoni.”

“Hey, it’s a _classic_.” 

But one thing Allie had to admit: this pizza was _really_ good. He had promised her she wouldn’t regret it and he was right. It still felt a little weird to be eating pizza on a Monday, though.

And then they were back in his car and Allie felt that weird comfort again. There was just something about it that put her at _ease_ whenever she was in it. 

She turned to face him, her cheek resting on her seat. “Thanks for the pizza. It was really good.”

He smirked and spared a glance at her. “See? I’m always right.”

“Alright there, don’t let it get to your head.”

He laughed and Allie smiled back at him. “It was actually really fun bonding with you, Little Pressman. You know, before you started attacking me for my taste in ice cream flavor.”

“That was completely justified. Your taste is absolutely terrible.”

He grinned and she continued to stare at him. The sun was setting now and it was painting him a golden light that made him look really fucking pretty. Alright, maybe it wasn’t _just_ the fact that it was golden hour that was making him pretty. She looked away and out the window, trying to hide her warming cheeks.

They drove in silence back to their houses, only the faint music of Harry’s playlist on shuffle in the background. It was still playing those Disney songs.

It was dark by the time they pulled into Harry’s driveway. Allie couldn’t help but feel like she was getting a shot of reality as she stared up at her house. This was her _real_ life: her and Harry living in different houses, different worlds.

He looked somewhat resigned as he turned off the engine. He leaned back into his seat and snuck a glance at her. “I guess, I’ll see you around.”

Allie bit her lip. There was something wrong about ending today like _this_. “Yeah, of course. I mean… I still got seventeen questions left, right?”

He grinned at her. “Right.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mint chocolate chip ice cream is gross and i will die on this hill.
> 
> comments are great and a bright light on this dark quarantine <3


	6. take me somewhere we can be alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter title may come from Love Story but I listened to a lot of "Wish You Were Sober" by Conan Grey while writing this and it SHOWS.

Allie was splayed on her belly in the space between the stage and the front row. The carpet rubbed against the skin of her arm as she wrote on her poster paper. 

Ms. Hernandez was currently doing Act I Scene 4, one of the first ones with Mercutio, Romeo and the other Montague boys. Ms. Hernandez had promised Allie they would get to her scene with Lady Capulet and the Nurse eventually, but by the pace this was going Allie found it unlikely. 

Will and Harry just couldn’t come off believable as friends. Which didn’t surprise Allie. Will was kind of dating Harry’s ex-girlfriend after all. Ms. Hernandez kept giving them several directions to hopefully give them some sort of chemistry as friends. God, teenage drama would really be the death of this show. 

She pointedly ignored Will’s voice in the background and focused on her poster. 

Elle was sitting on the floor a little bit in front of her reading a book. Allie was surprised to find she had become much more comfortable in Elle’s presence than she expected. They were friends now, and Allie couldn’t be happier. 

Someone sat on the floor next to her. Allie looked up and almost dropped the marker between her teeth when she saw who it was. 

Gwen was reading over her poster with slightly furrowed brows. “The Labour Party?”

Allie grabbed the marker from her mouth. “Yeah, it’s for my AP Comparative Government and Politics class. We’re doing Britain now and we each have to present on one of the parties.”

She clicked her tongue. “Yeah, Mr. Harris loves assigning projects like these when he’s feeling too lazy to teach.”

Allie gave a tentative laugh. She couldn’t think for the life of her why Gwen was talking to her now. She was closer friends with other people like Olivia, Lexie and Kelly. Who were all sitting not a few rows back.

The last time Allie and Gwen had probably spent time together was at Clark’s party where they danced drunkenly all night. Well,  _ that _ actually had been pretty fun.

Gwen pulled a face and looked at the stage. “The boys really are extra incompetent today, aren’t they?”

Allie looked up to the stage as well. The expression of pure misery in both Harry’s and Will’s face was laughable. “And then they say that girls let their feelings in the way.”

“They just need to punch it out and get this over with.” Gwen said in her usual matter-of-fact tone and Allie couldn’t help but smile at her bluntness. 

“But as amusing as watching boys being idiots can be, that’s not why I’m here. I wanted to invite you to my Halloween party next week.” 

Allie couldn’t help but gape. She had never been personally invited to a party before. She’d usually gone because someone else got invited–Becca or Cassandra–and she would just tag along. She quickly recovered and snapped her jaw shut. “Really? That sounds cool.”

“Yeah, it will be. It’s gonna be costumes and everything and people usually go full-out.” Gwen looked up and gave Elle an awkward glance. “You’re invited too, Elle.”

The blonde looked up from her book, pretending as if she wasn't listening the entire time (Allie knew better). “Oh. Thanks.”

“Yeah. I’ll text you the details, Al.” Gwen had never called Allie that in her life. “See you around.”

Gwen stood up and went back to her previous spot with her other friends. Allie caught Kelly’s eye and the girl smiled at her kindly. Allie smiled back awkwardly. She wanted to hate Kelly for everything with Will but…Kelly was too nice for her own good.

Allie turned back to her poster and caught Elle staring at her in shock. Allie sighed. “Any costume ideas?”

Elle bit her lip. “Um… should we try Pinterest?”

Allie nodded and Elle pulled out her phone, scrolling through ideas. 

Eventually another body dropped down to the spot next to Allie. “Okay, Question #2: if you were a superhero what power would you choose?”

Allie continued tracing her poster, not even bothering looking up. “Um…flying.”

Harry sighed. “Why, oh  _ why,  _ would you go with the most basic answer of them all?”

Allie shrugged. “I like the idea of getting closer to the stars. And I could fly far away from this stupid town whenever I wanted to.” She switched to a red marker and started tracing the Labour Party’s manifesto. “You have 16 questions left.”

_ “What?  _ How? I only asked two questions.”

Allie finally looked up to face him. “Well, actually you asked four. The first was about playing Juliet, the  _ second _ was when you asked my favorite flavor of ice cream–”   
  
“That’s what you asked  _ me _ .”

She smirked. “Yeah and then you asked me what  _ my _ favorite flavor was. See? That’s a question.”

He gasped. “You sneaky little shit.”

She tried putting on a face of pure innocence. “I’m just playing by the rules.”

He squinted his eyes at her suspiciously for a moment. He sighed. “Fine. When was the fourth one then? I only asked about the superpower.”

“You asked me why.” She pointed at him with her marker. “ _ That  _ is a question.”

“Follow-up questions don’t count.”   


“Oh, they most definitely do.” 

“Has anyone ever told you are extremely stubborn, Little Pressman?”

“Oh, yes. I’ve been told several times.”

He shook his head at her with a grin and looked down at her poster. “CoPo?”

She sighed. “Yup. I honestly still don’t know how Mr. Harris manages to make this class boring.”

“It’s a talent. You’ll survive though. I did  _ and  _ I got a 5.”

“How long have you been waiting to casually flex that?”

“Not that long actually.” Harry’s smirk faded and he sighed, falling back to lay down on the floor next to her. “I don’t wanna go back.”

“Yeah, you aren’t doing too well up there.”

He glared at her. “Thanks.”

“I strive to please.”

“Ooooh how about we do the Purge?” Elle called out, still looking at her phone.

Harry sat up and raised an eyebrow.

“She’s talking about Halloween costumes,  _ not _ actually killing people.” Allie explained.

Harry smirked and shrugged. “I mean if you’d be willing to kill LeClair for me I wouldn’t complain.”   


Allie gave him a hard look and he sighed. Just because she was mad at Will it didn’t mean she hated him. She didn’t want to be around him all the time anymore but that didn’t mean she would talk shit about him.

Harry reached over and grabbed his bag. “What are the costumes for? Trick or Treating?”

“Ha ha. No it’s for Gwen’s party.”

He nodded and turned to Allie with a glint in his eye. “I guess, I’ll see you there then.”

Allie held his stare for a moment before looking away and back at her poster. She almost yelled at her cheeks to remain normal. She would not let a slightly veiled comment get the best of her. 

She tugged her ear and snuck a glance at Harry. He was smirking as he searched his bag.  _ Dick.  _

He finally found what he was looking for and tossed it to Elle who caught it easily. Allie looked at him in confusion when he whipped out two cereal bars. “Which one?”

Allie eyed them both. “That one.” He tossed the one with chocolate chips and she caught it. She ripped it open. “Raisins are gross and I don’t understand why people put them into things.”

He shrugged, opening up his own cereal bar (with raisins,  _ ew _ ). “I don’t mind them all that much. They’re fine.”   


“They’re not fine. They’re literally used as replacement chocolate chips except they’re gross and chewy.”

“Okay, everyone break’s over!” Ms. Hernandez called out. “Everyone who I was working with come back on stage.”

Harry sighed and gave Allie a look like  _ here I go again.  _ Allie watched him as he climbed up the stage with a fond smile. She actually really liked this weird friendship they’d fallen into. She straightened up and resumed her work when she caught Elle glaring at her. “What?” 

Elle shook her head and looked back at her phone. “Nothing.”   


Allie squinted her eyes suspiciously but didn’t prod any further.

* * *

The day of the Halloween party was also the day of their first Saturday rehearsal. In her days as Assistant Stage Manager, Saturday rehearsals meant sitting around bored with the occasional herrand Ms. Hernandez would ask her to run. She would get a lot of reading done those days.

A Saturday rehearsal as an actress was a completely different experience. It was hectic, exhausting and Allie found she was needed for hours on stage. 

They were working on the Capulet party scene, which involved almost the entire cast. Which meant it took  _ forever _ . There were so many details that Ms. Hernandez had to get through that it got frustrating. It got even worse when people weren’t cooperating.

“Question… #8? I think. What takes up too much of your time?”

Harry asked from his spot next to her. Ms. Hernandez was currently yelling at some other cast mates.

“TikTok. That app is addicting. Question #7: what is the worst lie you’ve ever told?”

“Wow. We’re getting deep there, Little Pressman.”   


“What can I say? I’m  _ extremely _ bored.” 

“Hm. Same. Okay, I’m trying to think.” She watched Ms. Hernandez’ frustrated screaming as he thought. “All I can think of is when I cheated in Monopoly with my little sister.”

Allie gasped. “You cheated in Monopoly. How the fuck do you even do that?”

He shrugged. “I was the bank. I gave myself extra bills.”   


“Remind me to never leave my purse unattended around you. Or let you do my taxes.”

“Oh damn. There goes my weekend plans to do your taxes. What a shame.”

“How will you ever survive?” She said with a grin. This Twenty Questions game they had going on between them was actually kinda fun. It was a good conversation starter, and it helped fill the time whenever rehearsal would stall. And she’d actually gotten to know a lot of weird stuff about Harry too. 

“You still going to Gwen’s party tonight?” He asked. 

“Yup. Me and Elle are getting ready at Becca’s.” 

Sam was apparently going with Grizz, which raised several questions for Allie. Were they turning into a thing? Allie really hoped so. Sam deserved the best and Grizz had always been so kind. She needed to find out more.

“Nice. You’re not ready for my costume though. It’s gonna blow your mind.”

“Really? What is it?”

Harry scoffed. “I’m not gonna tell you. You’re just going to have to meet me there and see.”

The way he was smiling at her… was he hitting on her? They had become closer these past couple weeks but they were co-stars. That was bound to happen, right? And they did have a track record when it came to parties… 

But no. They were friends now.  _ Just _ friends. They’d agreed to it and besides, it would be too complicated with the play and with the ‘Cassandra’ of it all.

* * *

Allie was greeted at the door by Gwen with a hug. “I’m so glad you made it!”

Allie smiled back at her. She still wasn’t used to this new friendship with Gwen. “Of course!”

“We brought drinks,” Becca added, raising a bag that clinked. She smiled at Gwen, flashing her vampire fangs. 

“Awesome. I’ll show you where to put them.” Gwen stepped aside to let them through. Becca followed her further into the house and Allie and Elle lingered by the doorway. The house was huge and filled with people in different costumes. Luke, Clark and Jason were all dressed as cops. Grizz was dressed up as an… explorer? She couldn’t really tell. He was talking to Sam who was dressed in khakis and an I <3 NY shirt. Allie bet he was dressed like a cheesy tourist.

“Hey guys.” Helena said approaching her and Elle.“I love your costumes. Elle, let me guess… Kill Bill?”

Elle grinned. “Yup.” 

She was wearing a tight yellow top and matching yellow pants, a fake sword tied around her waist. She was scared no one would get it, which obviously was proven wrong. 

“And Allie you just look so sparkly, it’s great!”

Allie looked down at her clothes and smiled at Helena. “Thanks. I love your costume too.”

Helen was dressed up as Little Red Riding Hood. Simple, but yet she looked gorgeous. 

“Boo.”

Allie jumped and on instinct turned around to slap the forehead of whoever had whispered in her ear. Her hand met plastic and she heard a muffled “Ow.”

It was someone wearing a red jumpsuit, and a Salvador Dali mask. The person pulled up their mask and revealed the face of Harry Bingham. “You didn’t have to be so aggressive.”

“And you didn’t have to scare me.” She looked over her shoulder to see Elle and Helena had disappeared. She turned back to Harry and grinned appreciatively at his costume.

“Casa de Papel. Nice.”

“Thank you. I still haven’t decided if I’m Rio or Denver.”

“Denver. You don’t have Rio’s heart-melting smile.”

“Hey!” She grinned at his protests and he looked her up and down. “And you’re a fairy that got hit by a glitter bomb?”

Elle had come up with the idea. Allie found the fairy wings hidden somewhere in her childhood toys and Elle had lent Allie one of her pink ballet leotards and a tutu. She was covered head to toe in glitter and her make-up was heavily inspired by Euphoria, courtesy of Becca. She was sure she’d be finding glitter  _ everywhere _ for days but it was worth it. 

Elle was also apparently a secret master braider and had managed to braid her blonde curls intricately on to the back of her head where they were tied into low pigtails. It had taken forever but it looked stunning. 

Allie laughed. “Something like that. Oooh! Did you see my wings?” She said with a twirl to show off her wings.

“Yeah, I like them.” He said flicking them lightly.

Allie grinned, feeling giddy with her costume. She liked feeling sparkly and light. 

He was smiling back down at her. “You look really pretty.”

Allie gave a single laugh and looked down at her feet, feeling awkward all of a sudden. She could feel her cheeks warm up. “Thanks.”

His grin softened. “Now, how about I get you a drink?”   


“Sure.”

* * *

Harry made his way over to the drink table and surveyed the liquor available. Of course there was an abundance of Smirnoff Ice.  _ Amateurs _ .

Allie deserved something different. Something sweet with a kick, just like her.

He grabbed the vodka and the peach schnapps and poured a bit of each on a red solo cup he’d filled with ice. He looked through the soft drinks. Orange juice, iced tea, Coca Cola,  _ there.  _ Cranberry juice. He poured some of that into the cup and his concoction turned bright red. 

He got his own Gin and Tonic and prodded through the crowd back to where she was standing. She was looking over the crowd, playing with one of the ends of her pigtail. She was like a beacon of light with all the glitter. 

Harry couldn’t help but smile. That’s what he’d discovered Allie Pressman to be: a bright, burning star amidst the black. He didn’t know how she spent all those years hidden in the shadows when she should’ve shined through them easily. He was a fool for not seeing her earlier.

She turned to greet him with a bright smile as always. God, that smile was beautiful.

“A bright, colorful drink for a bright, colorful fairy.”

“Thank you.” Allie reached for it eagerly and took a sip. “Oooh. It’s really good. What’s it called?”

“Sex on the Beach.”

It had the reaction he expected: she choked on her drink and started coughing. He smirked as she recomposed herself. A blush he had become familiar with coming to her cheeks.  _ Fuck _ , it was easy to get this girl flustered. And okay, okay he had to admit, he liked getting her flustered. 

When he had asked them to be just friends, he had meant it. That kiss she’d given him had been admittedly really good. And he’d been just fine to leave it to be just that. A kiss. 

But then rehearsal had come around and she’d been so stiff and awkward that he felt he needed to establish that they should be just friends. They couldn’t do a show if they were dancing around each other.

Look at him and Will. He hated the dude so fucking much. Literally just the sight of him made him want to throw a punch. But he couldn’t. Because they were literally playing _ best friends  _ in the show. Which was becoming increasingly difficult for Harry to do when all he could see was Will as the guy who was taking whatever scraps of his old life was left. 

Now with Allie…it was even more precarious. They were playing the leads, love interests. And since they’d agreed to be friends their scenes had become ten times better. 

But that had also been the problem. He’d gotten to know her and she was fucking  _ awesome _ . How could he not have  _ seen her _ all these years? They’d known each other forever and yet, he felt like he was getting to know a complete stranger.    
  
It also didn’t help that she was gorgeous. How did he not see that before? How could he not notice those princess curls that fell upon her shoulders? How did not see how her smile brightened an entire room?

Maybe it was because she’d always been hiding behind Cassandra. Whatever the reason, she wasn’t hiding now.

And Harry hated himself for how much he wanted to kiss her all the time. 

“Okay Question #9,” He said leaning on the wall next to her, “what movie title best describes your life?”   


Allie cocked her head, thinking it over. “Um… The Perks of Being a Wallflower.”

He scoffed. “Nah, that doesn’t work. You’re not a wallflower.”

She gave him a stare and looked down at her drink. “It’s my life, Harry. Trust me, it’s the right title.”   


He shook his head. “Being a wallflower means being invisible, separate from the crowd. That’s not you. At least not anymore. I see you now, Allie Pressman.”

He meant to say it as a light comment, but instead it sounded…heavy, and loaded with emotions. 

She stared at him curiously, as if trying to find whatever lies he was hiding. God, her eyes were blue. Her purple eye-shadow was making her eyes pop out even more than usual. “Thanks.”

She was standing so close. It would be so easy to just close the gap between them and kiss those pretty pink lips of hers. But no, he couldn’t. Not right now. Not like this. Not with everything at stake.

He pulled back a little and took a large sip of his drink. “Okay, so I’ll give you another shot at it.”

Allie rolled her eyes. “Fine.” She looked down at her outfit, “Pretty in Pink.”   


He laughed, loud and real. A laugh he hadn’t given for a while until recently. “Okay, I’ll hand it to you. That’s pretty good.”

She grinned at him. “Thank you very much.” 

“Well, I have to go to the bathroom but I’ll be right back.”   


“Okay. I’m gonna go find Elle.”

He left her and was on his way to the bathroom when he bumped into someone. It was Kelly. She wasn’t in a costume, only in jeans and a blue top. Whatever warmth he’d gotten from his talk with Allie faded at the sight of Kelly’s red eyes. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked, a hand to her arm. An old part of him came alive. That part of him that still cared for her, that still wanted her to be safe and happy.

She bit her lip. “I knew I’d find you here and I k-know I shouldn’t and I didn’t want to ruin your night but I didn’t know who else to talk to.”

“Of course.” He said, pulling her to a dark, secluded corner by the stairs. “What happened?”

She pulled something out of her pocket and showed it to him. He grabbed it tentatively.

“A lipstick case?”

“Check the engraving.” 

“K.J.B…” He trailed off. He knew this engraving. His mother’s. She had those initials engraved in every fucking object of value she owned.

“I found it in my dad’s jacket pocket.”

He couldn’t process this. He didn’t want to connect the dots. He didn’t want to put it together. His dad hadn’t even been dead 5 months. “Why are you showing me this?”

She leveled a look. “Harry, come on…you know what this means.”

He shook his head. “No. Maybe he was keeping it safe to give it to her. I-I don’t know.”

This couldn’t be happening. After everything with his dad, after the past couple years of absolute hell…his mother couldn’t be this cruel. No. He wouldn’t accept that. 

“Seriously? _ Come on, _ Harry. Don’t be stupid. We both know what this means.”

“What’s going on here?” Will asked, coming up next to them.

Of course,  _ Prince-fucking-Charming  _ wants to come in and ‘save the day’ when there was no need for it. “Not now.” Harry snapped. He wasn’t up for his bullshit.

“Kelly, is he bothering you?"

“Fuck off, Will!” Harry yelled, a bit too loud if the way everyone looked at him was any indication.

Will held his stare. “No. She doesn’t want to talk to you, man.”

Harry gave a cold laugh. He seriously did not want to deal with this right now. “You have no idea what you’re talking about. So just go.”

“No.”

“Will–” Kelly said, trying to intervene but neither boy was listening.

“Seriously, man. Fuck off. Before I do something I regret.”

Everyone had gathered in a circle around them, watching them avidly. 

Harry was itching for an excuse to throw a punch. He was fucking pissed. He hated the world for tearing his family apart. He hated the universe for the past couple years of his life. He hated his mother for betraying him and his father like this. But most of all, he hated himself for being such a coward and being so afraid of it all, all the fucking time. 

So when Will stared at him straight in the eye, chin held high, and said the word “no”, Harry knew instantly what his next move would be.

Kelly screamed.  _ “Harry, no!” _

He punched Will straight in the nose and the boy stumbled back to the floor. Harry shook out his hand, pain already flaring up his knuckles.  _ Fucking hell, that felt good.  _

Will put a hand over his face and catched a couple drops of blood flowing from his nose. He looked up at Harry with a new animosity that made Harry smirk. _ He hates me. Good.  _

Before Harry could process, Will was up on his feet and running at Harry at full speed. He grabbed him around the stomach and tackled him to the ground. The boys rolled on the floor, throwing wild punches at each other.

The crowd around them cheered.  _ “Fight! Fight! Fight!” _

Harry thought he could hear some screams for them to stop but he paid them no mind. Will managed to sneak a hit at Harry’s cheekbone and his eyes teared up. He welcomed the pain. This he could understand. Physical pain. Not the emotional pain that threatened to drown him every fucking day. 

They rolled again and Harry ended up on top. He hit Will straight on the cheek, his head rolling to the side. He reached back to swing again when someone held his arm. 

Before he knew it, he was being pulled up from the ground and away from Will. He thrashed against the person’s grasp, wanting to get back and hit him again.  _ No _ . Didn’t they understand? This wasn’t bad. Physical pain wasn’t the problem, if he stopped he’d become overcome with much worse.

“Hey! Hey, stop!” A small hand came to rest at his chest and he looked down to see Allie staring up at him. Her blue eyes were wide and desperate. He hadn’t even seen her come up. Both her hands were against his chest as she pleaded.  _ “Stop _ .”

She looked so scared.

Harry stared at her with heavy breaths. The fury in him calming down slowly. He stopped thrashing and hung loose against the person’s grip. The person let him go, and he looked back to see it had been Luke that pulled him away. He looked up to see Jason holding Will back as well. 

Harry gulped and ran a hand over his face–a mistake that made the wounds in his hand and face throb. “I-I…”

Now that the world had stopped and the rage in his ears had gone quiet, he was forced to face the truth. His father was dead after fighting with cancer for two years. And what did his mom do? Become his ex-girlfriend’s dad’s mistress.

And where did that leave Harry? Alone. Just so fucking alone. He should’ve gotten used to that by now.

He fled the room without another word. He stormed away from the house. He needed to get away. He stopped in front of his parked car and leaned against it to catch his breath. He needed a second. 

He buried his face in his hands, which hurt a lot considering all the bruises blooming over his face. 

“Harry?”

He looked up to see Allie Pressman standing in front of him. In the darkness of the night she looked even brighter in her fairy outfit. He wasn’t stupid enough to mistake the tightness of her expression for concern. No. She was pissed.

“Why the fuck would you do that?”

Harry closed his eyes. “God, Allie not now.”

“No. We’re doing this now.” Only Allie Pressman would manage to look intimidating in sparkly fairy wings. “Because who I saw in there was not the guy I’ve been talking to lately. I thought everyone was wrong about you, but I guess I was the one who was wrong.”

He stood up straight. “Allie, what do you want from me?”

“An explanation.” She said staring up at him. He didn’t even realize they were standing that close. “Because I don’t understand you. You’ve been nothing but nice and funny and kind to me and then you go ahead and be a dick and punch someone over an ex-girlfriend out of pettiness.” 

The disappointment in her eyes was crushing him. He’d seen that look plenty of times before but truthfully, he hadn’t really expected to see that in hers. 

“Cassandra was right about you.”

Harry flinched.  _ Cassandra _ . Of course. Bringing up that name was like stabbing him with a long thin knife.  _ Cassandra _ . The golden child. Top of the class. Student Council President, who won against him, proving to everyone she was better than him once and for all. A blaring reminder of who Harry could never be.

“You know what, Allie?” His voice had gone cold. “You seem to have made up your mind about what a fucking dick I am so I don’t really understand why you’re still here.”

“Because…” She searched his face. “Because it doesn’t make sense. I feel like I’m missing something and I don’t understand what.”

He hesitated. He could tell her, right here and then. He could tell and maybe she would understand. Maybe he wouldn’t be so alone.

“Do you want to get out of here?”

Allie’s eyebrows furrowed slightly, obviously thrown off by the abrupt change of subject. But then something in her expression softened. It was like she saw something that made her change her mind. “Okay.”

* * *

20 minutes into the drive and Allie still had no idea where they were going. They’d gone into the highway so Allie knew it was nowhere in New Ham. 

The radio was playing softly, a random pop song. Allie was glad he hadn’t given her his phone to put on a song, Allie would have no idea what music to put on. She didn’t think anything could describe her mood. She still couldn’t get over the look on Harry’s face when Luke was holding him back. She’d never seen anger so strong, so uncontained. And then he looked at her and it was gone. 

And then the way he had looked at her by his car. So small, so fragile. 

Harry Bingham was a boy filled with contradictions. He made jokes with her one second and then was an arrogant dick the next. He was all smiles and happiness and then suddenly he would grow cold, a mask firmly in place. She just couldn’t figure out which one was the real Harry Bingham. Maybe that was why she had agreed to this ‘trip’.

Harry hadn’t said a word the entire time. She hadn’t been any better.

After a while, Harry finally pulled the car to a stop. Allie frowned not being able to discern any reason why this would be their destination when she caught sight of the lighthouse. 

She left her wings in the car, but still wore her pink tutu (she was only wearing a leotard and rainbow striped tights and didn’t feel inclined to wear just that). She felt absolutely ridiculous in her outfit now in the real world, out of the environment of the party. Luckily, there didn’t seem to be anyone else around.

She followed him to the beach. Sand got in her converse as they kept walking but Allie didn’t complain. She just walked out into the darkness, Harry a couple steps in front of her.

He stopped and she stopped as well, coming to his side. She gave him a glance and saw that he had his eyes trained on the waves in front of them. Allie faced the ocean as well, watching the waves lap against the sand in the dark night. She didn’t say anything. If he wanted to talk then he would talk. She wouldn’t force him.

“Question #10. If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go?”

Allie turned to face him but he kept his eyes on the ocean. She stared at him, watching the unusual amount of emotion displayed on his face. No mask tonight.

“Well…” She turned away from him to look up at the sky. “If I could go anywhere I’d go up into the stars.”

He made no comment about how it wasn’t technically in the world. He said nothing about how cheesy that answer had been.

So she felt brave enough to be vulnerable and give him the why. “I think it would be rather nice to be a bright constellation, looking down on Earth and yet not having to be a part of this mess that life can be. All you’re expected to do is  _ shine,  _ and you never have to hide.”

The sky was so clear today that part of it was stained a lighter blue, part of the Milky Way. So many stars. So many places far away from here. 

“My dad used to take me here all the time.”

Allie turned back to him again. He was still looking at the waves. 

“It was just me and him. Lizzie would stay at home with my mom, and we would go out and fly a kite or hunt for cool shells or whatever. It was always just us. Father and son. Do you know how many times my mom and I spent time like that together just us?”

Allie didn’t answer.

“Never.” He clenched his jaw. “And yet,  _ he  _ got cancer.  _ He _ slowly wasted away for years until he forgot who he even was.  _ He  _ was the one who fucking died and now she doesn’t even care.”

She didn’t know what to say so she took his hand. He interwove his fingers with hers but still stared ahead, it’s like he wasn’t even aware he had done that. 

“My mom is sleeping with Kelly’s dad.”

_ What the fuck? _

“That’s what we were talking about. That’s what Will interrupted and everything is so fucked up and I just… I punched him.” 

He finally turned to face her and Allie held her breath at the intensity in his gaze. There were no barriers. He was stripped of all of his masks. This was the real Harry Bingham and he looked so…vulnerable. 

Allie turned and pulled him down to a hug. He easily bent down burying his nose in the crook of her neck and wrapping his arms around her waist. One of her hands at his neck raised into his hair as she whispered soothing words into his ear.

_ “Everything is so fucked up, Allie.” _ He whispered into her shoulder. She still wasn’t used to him calling her Allie. Everytime he said it it would send shivers up her back. “ _ I’m  _ fucked up.”

“It’s okay.” She whispered back. “Can I tell you a secret?”

He nodded and she pulled back to bring him back up. She cupped her hands around his face and leaned her forehead against his. Her eyes still closed. “We’re  _ all _ fucked up. Everyone. All the time. It’s impossible not to be with everything life throws at us. Some of us are just better at hiding it than others.”

He shook his head lightly and Allie could feel it against her. “You’re not fucked up.”

Allie let out a single, soft laugh. “You definitely haven’t been looking close enough if you really believe that.”

He pulled back and they both started to unravel themselves from each other. Allie smiled when she saw his face.

“What?”

She laughed. So loud and at odds with the confessions they’d just whispered to each other. But she couldn’t help it. And it felt good to laugh, to silence that dark part of herself. “You have a little something…” 

She motioned to her general face and laughed again as he scrunched his eyebrows in confusion. 

He had glitter  _ all over his face.  _

He pressed a hand to his face and seemed to understand when his fingers came out sparkling. “For fucks sake, Allie. This is never gonna come off.” But he didn’t seem mad at all as he grinned down at her. 

She just laughed harder. All seriousness draining from her body as she watched him sparkle underneath the moonlight like a fucking mythical creature. “You look… you look… like Edward Cullen!”

Her voice squeaked at the end from so much laughter. 

Harry just grinned at her, taking this shift in conversation in all earnesty. But then something in his eyes darkened. He grabbed her waist, pulled her to him and kissed her. 

Allie froze, all laughter inside of her dying in an instant. She didn’t know she was waiting for this–maybe she’d been craving this since that first kiss at that party–but now that it was happening again it felt like a breath of fresh air. 

This was different though. They were both sober and knew each other much better. This was  _ intentional _ . This was epic. 

She lifted on her tiptoes and brought him closer with the arms around his neck. One of his hands rested at her lower back while the other came up to cup her cheek. He pulled apart to rest his forehead against her. “I figured if I was gonna look like a sparkly idiot I might at least get something good out of it.”   


She leaned back to look at his face and saw that his glitter situation had indeed gotten a lot worse. She clicked her tongue. “I feel like you're not sparkling enough. You might need a little more.”

He smirked, already inching closer. “Oh, yeah?”

“Definitely.”

He had kissed her again before the word had really left her mouth. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you guys liked it hehe. Who's ready for some hallie sneaking around?
> 
> comments cure my quarantine boredom. also you can come talk to me on my tumblr @brazilianchild 
> 
> \- liv


	7. we keep quiet 'cause we're dead if they knew

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, sorry this chapter took a little longer. These past couple weeks just have been a little rough and writing kind of fell on the back burner. I hope this chapter full of hallie fluffiness makes up for that!

The drive back to West Ham was much more peaceful than the drive to the beach. Allie felt relaxed on the front seat, her socked feet resting on the dash–Harry hadn’t even complained which let her know immediately that he was in as good a mood as she was.

They didn’t talk much. The only sound being the music that Allie chose from Harry’s Spotify. They didn’t _need_ to talk. Their interlocked fingers lay over Allie’s lap. She swore her heart stopped every time Harry’s thumb brushed against the back of her hand.

Allie just smiled and stared out the window. The stars were still shining bright above them. 

It was weird how this _wasn’t_ weird. Holding hands and kissing Harry Bingham didn’t feel wrong.

But then when they entered West Ham, Allie felt like someone had poured a bucket of ice over her head. 

There were plenty of reasons why doing this with Harry _should_ feel wrong. Cassandra. The play. Her parents. Will. 

Reality seemed to be hitting over Harry as well–his movements against the back of her hand stilled.

He pulled the car to a stop a block away from their houses, far enough that they remained unseen by their inhabitants.

Neither of them pulled their hands away. 

She could see the edge of her house. She could imagine Cassandra inside, probably reading some book and wondering when Allie would get home from the party. She could already sense her sister’s disappointment. 

She was supposed to be brave now. Allie was supposed to have stopped caring what other people thought. But she couldn’t get the image of her sister’s frown out of her mind. 

“This is a bad idea, isn’t it?” Allie said, her gaze still fixed on her house.

Harry sighed. “Yeah, I think it is.”

“It’s already so complicated with… _everything_. What if it goes wrong, and we fuck up the play? We can’t be that selfish.”

“Exactly.”

“Maybe we should call it, before it gets too big.”

She turned to face him and he did the same. Their eyes locked, and Allie felt her heart tighten.

He bit his lip and Allie couldn’t help but follow the movement with her eyes. He nodded slightly. “Okay.”

Good. This was good. This was _better._ They couldn’t do this. There were too many reasons why not. It just wasn’t _worth it._

They moved towards each other at the same time, their lips crashing together. Allie moaned and reached up to bring him closer. Harry’s hands came at her hips and pulled her over the gear and on top of his lap. Allie sighed against his lips at the new position and wrapped her arms around him to be flush against him.

She pulled apart just enough so she could whisper against his lips. “Or maybe we just… don’t tell anyone?”

He nodded quickly. “That sounds like a much better option to me.”

* * *

On Monday, like every other day before, Cassandra would bid Harry an overly polite “Good morning” as they made their way to their respective cars at the same time. And like every other day, Harry would give Cassandra a sarcastic smile and not respond. 

But today was a little different. Because after giving Cassandra that sarcastic smile, Harry’s eyes shifted to meet Allie’s, giving her a significant gaze that made her bite her lip. And then he looked away and slipped into his car.

Allie spent the whole ride to school looking out the window with a slight smile. Cassandra didn’t seem to notice. 

* * *

“Where did you go on Saturday?” Becca asked Allie as she stuffed her books in her locker. “I got your text about not needing a ride anymore.”

Allie shrugged. “I was tired. I just took an Uber home.”

“But we’d just gotten there.” 

“Yeah and I had enough. After that whole fight with Will and Harry, I just wanted to leave.”

Becca nodded, accepting the lie easily. “Yeah, that was fucking dumb.”

But Sam didn’t seem easily convinced. He stared at Allie for a long time, something scrutinizing in his glare. Allie resisted the urge to tug at her ears. 

She was _allowed_ to have secrets. They didn’t need to know _everything_ about her life. Still, it felt wrong.

She adjusted her backpack on her shoulder. “Okay, I gotta go to class. See you guys, later.”

They said their goodbyes and Allie walked down the corridor alone.

Someone grabbed her wrist and Allie yelped as she was pulled into an empty classroom. The door closed and she looked up to find Harry smiling down at her. “Hey.”

She pushed against his shoulder. “You scared me!”

The reprimand probably wasn’t really effective considering she was grinning and was standing close enough that their noses brushed each other. 

“I’d say I’m sorry, but I’m really not.”

Her hand lifted up to lightly brush the bruises along his cheekbone. She bit her lip. “Do they hurt?”

He shrugged. “Yeah, but it’s okay. I can handle a little pain.” He said, in his usually cocky manner.

Allie laughed. “You’re such an idiot.”

She lifted up on her tiptoes and kissed him. His hands coming to rest at her hips.

They kissed for five _glorious_ seconds before reality came crashing down on her. She pulled away. “Fuck. I have to go to class. I’m gonna be late.”

“Easy. Just don’t go.” He said, already moving to close the gap between them.

Allie smiled and inched away. “I can’t not go. It’s Pre-Calc. Ms. James would kill me.”

He sighed and let go of her hips. “Fine.” 

She pressed one last kiss to his lips and pulled away. “I’ll see you in rehearsal?”

Harry nodded with a grin. “Yup.”

* * *

Allie was giddy all day. She felt silly but whatever. She _liked_ Harry. She liked being around him and talking to him and laughing with him and kissing him, _oh, she very much_ liked kissing him.

She caught herself smiling randomly. She had to stop being so fucking obvious. Sam was already getting suspicious. 

“What’s got you smiling all day?” Elle asked as they made their way to the theatre. 

_Well, shit. That’s two people now_

“Nothing.” She said. “I’m just thinking I have this new idea for track #2. We should meet tomorrow to work on it.”

Elle nodded, “Sure.”  
  
She still looked a little too knowing for Allie’s comfort. They opened the door to the theatre to find it in utter silence, which was weird considering it was already filled with people.

Will and Harry were both sulking in different sides of the stage, their bruises more bright and evident under the stage lights.

Kelly stood apart from both of them, standing next to Gwen. She looked _very_ tired.

“Right, I forgot that half the cast seemed to be involved with that fight,” Allie whispered to Elle. 

Elle shrugged. “The usual teen drama. What did you expect at this point?” 

Allie thought of her and Harry tangled together in his car. “Fair enough.”

They both made their way on to the stage and joined Harry in the awkward silence.

Ms. Hernandez walked to the theatre, flipping through her binder. “Okay, so today we’ll be working on Act 3 Scene 1, the one with Mercutio’s and Tybalt’s death. So I need Romeo, Mercutio, Tybalt, Benvolio…” She looked at the bruises over Harry’s and Will’s faces and froze. 

After a couple moments, Ms. Hernandez sighed and rubbed her eyes. “You know what? I’m not gonna even pretend that I know what _any_ of you have going on in your personal lives because frankly, it’s none of my business. Just please, try not to kill each other. I’d rather prefer it if you keep the injuries to a minimum considering the make-up department has a budget.”

“And you _two_ .” Harry and Will both looked up in alarm with wide eyes. “Whatever is going on outside, none of that comes in here. Here you are professionals and you better act like it or I’ll recast you both.” She glared at them with a raised finger. _“Don’t test me.”_

The boys both nodded, looking like chagrined children.

“You know what? I don’t feel like a fight scene is good for you two right now. Why don’t you go and help Grizz with the set. Now for the rest, let’s do Act 3 Scene 5. We can start from where Romeo exits.” She looked up and saw that neither Will or Harry had moved. _“Go.”_

They both jumped and Harry exchanged a nervous glance with Allie before going out the door and into the storage unit, where Grizz was building the set with some other people.

* * *

Harry had spent the past 45 minutes painting this stupid balcony and was no where near done. But...he had to give Grizz some credit. The set was genius. The balcony was a couple meters off the ground, with three slabs of wood across the side which Harry would use as stairs. 

He just didn’t want to be here fucking painting it.

Will was next to him, helping him paint. They hadn’t said a word to each other the entire time. Not that he wanted to. 

Harry had always liked Ms. H very much; she had always believed in him. And he couldn’t blame her for this weird punishment. They _had_ bruised each other pretty badly. If the show had been anytime soon they’d be fucked. 

But still, right now he was pissed at her. He should be out there, acting. Hopefully with Allie at his side. He smiled at the thought of her. Jesus Christ, he couldn’t believe the past 24 hours had actually happened. 

Part of him started to scream at him. _Nothing good ever lasts. You always fuck it up._

Harry buried that voice deep in his head. He didn’t want to let that darkness consume him again. No. He was fine. He wasn’t going to ruin this. They had barely even started.

He snuck a look at Will and saw the boy looked as miserable with his task as he felt.

Harry sighed and dropped the roller. “Look. You’re not my favorite person and I know I’m not yours. But how about we both just…tolerate and learn to be around one other without killing eachother. For the show.”

Will looked at him for a long moment. His face was hard. But then he nodded reluctantly. “Fine.”

“Okay.” Harry said, surprised. He didn’t expect that to actually work. They resumed their work in silence, but it felt lighter somehow. The air had been cleared.

* * *

“I would actually kill for some Hot Cheetos.”

“Aren’t you going to eat dinner in like 10 minutes?”  
  
“Yes. And your point is…”

Harry raised his hands up in defence. “No point.”

She smirked and looked back out the car window. “I felt so bad for Ms. Hernandez. She looked really done.”

“Yeah, well. That’s easy for you to say when you weren’t the one fucking painting for hours.”

Allie looked over at him. His hands were streaked with beige paint. “How was it?”

He shrugged. “It was fine actually. Mind-numbingly boring but fine. How was the scene?”

Allie grinned. “It was really good. _I_ was really good.”

 _"_ __W_ oah. _ What happened to staying humble?”

“I think I’m spending too much time around you. You must be rubbing off on me.”

Harry smiled, his eyes still on the road. “Well, we can’t have _that_.” 

She pursed her lips and reached for his hand. He let her pull it to her lap. “It’s okay. I’ll survive.”

Harry pulled the car to a stop by the sidewalk and Allie frowned. “What are you doing? We aren’t home, yet.”

He turned off the engine and unbuckled the seatbelt. “I know.” He leaned over, cupped her cheek and pulled her into a kiss. Allie followed easily, letting him kiss her with a passion that made her sigh. 

He pulled back and smiled. “Sorry. I just couldn’t wait to do that.” 

Allie grinned stupidly. “It’s okay. I didn’t really mind.”

He tugged at one of her curls. “Let me take you out on a date.”

“Harry–”

“Don’t worry, it’ll be lowkey. I just want to take you out on the date you deserve, Al.”

She bit her lip, trying to contain her smile. It wasn’t fair for him to be this sweet _and_ handsome. She didn’t think she could handle it. “Well, if you insist.”

* * *

They went out after the Saturday rehearsal. It was the last one before October break the next couple weeks.

Allie even dressed up a little bit better than what she usually wore for rehearsals–leggings and a sweatshirt. This time she put on jeans and a nice blue sweater. 

They did the wedding scene in that rehearsal. Ironically, if it had been a month ago she would’ve dreaded doing that scene with a passion. But now, it was light and fun and Harry kept making faces at her when they were meant to be staring at each other lovingly and Allie smiled the entire time.

“So, where are you taking me?”

“It’s a surprise.”

Allie sighed, looking out the window. “You know, I’m really tired of these surprises. Can’t you ever just take me somewhere with me knowing the destination in advance?”

He grinned at her. “Now, where’s the fun in that?”

She rolled her eyes. “Fine. Okay, Question #12: if you could only say one word for the rest of your life what would it be?”

“Like that’s the only thing I can say for the rest of my life?”

“Yup.”

“Um… okay I’d probably pick ‘maybe’. Because then I’m not stuck agreeing to things I don’t want to and I get a whole ‘mysterious bad boy vibes’.”

Allie laughed. “Yeah, sure. Like you could ever be a mysterious bad boy.”

“Hey. I am really fucking mysterious, okay? Trust me, Little Pressman.” He looked over at her. “There are a lot of things you don’t know about me.”

Allie’s smirk faltered at the darkness in his eyes. He was right. There was so much she didn’t know about him despite knowing him her entire life. Like she didn’t know why he would sometimes stare off into nowhere with a blankness in his expression. Or why he would sometimes flex his fingers as if he was restraining himself from reaching for something. Or why he disappeared for all of last summer without any sort of explanation. 

“I guess I’ll just have to find out, won't I?”

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” He meant it as a joke but she could hear the sincerity in the statement behind it. He cleared his throat and kept his eyes on the road.

Allie understood his unspoken desire to ignore it and changed the subject. “We finished up a track yesterday.”

He brightened, eagerly accepting the new topic. “You did?”

“Yup. We managed to put it together into an audio recording. Gordie played most of the parts in like eight different instruments and layered them together. I swear that boy plays every instrument on this earth.” 

She was rambling but she couldn’t _help it._ This all made her so excited. Like it was actually happening. _She_ put this together and it was actually working! 

“Anyways he sent me the file, and it actually sounds pretty good. We should be sending it to the jazz band for them to learn soon.”

“Can I hear it?”

Allie looked at him in surprise. “You want to?”

He stared back at her like she was crazy. “Well, yeah. That’s why I asked.”

She blinked and snapped out of it. “Right.” She brought out her phone and connected it to the car’s Bluetooth. She bit her thumb nail as she waited. “I just…no one’s ever heard this before except for me, Elle and Gordie. Actually, Elle was the one who first came up with the melody for this a while back. It’s going to play during Juliet and Romeo’s wedding scene and that’s why it’s so light and breezy. We actually called it ‘Fairytale’ because that’s what it’s supposed to feel like: the beginning of Romeo and Juliet’s fairytale. Even though we all know that doesn’t turn out well–”

“Just play it, Al.” 

“Right.” She pressed [ play ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zEtYTEUOPWI) and the track started playing through the car’s speakers.

She pointedly did not look at him as the track played. It was only a couple minutes long but she didn’t want to see his reaction if he didn’t like it. This whole project was her baby. She had poured her life and soul into this and she didn’t think she could handle criticism right now.

The track was coming to a close when he spoke. “Allie, this is really fucking good.”

She was finally brave enough to look at him. “Really?”

He grinned at her. “Really. This is some professional level shit. Did you guys really come up with all of this yourselves?”

She brightened, not being able to help the wide smile that took over her face. Someone liked their work. Someone thought it was good. And not just someone, but Harry. She cared about his opinion and the fact that he seemed to like it this much made her swell with pride. “Yeah, well, it was mostly Elle and Gordie–”

“Bullshit, Allie.” He interrupted. “I’ve seen you scribbling away in that blue notebook, talking to Elle in rehearsal about your ideas. You’ve worked hard and you need to learn to take credit when it's due.”

She stared at him for a long moment. He was right. She had worked her ass off to make this happen and there was no reason to shy away from praise. It was a bad habit of hers. Probably something that came with spending most of her life in the shadows. “You’re right. Thank you, Harry.”

“You have nothing to thank me for. This is all you. I have nothing to do with it.”

“Yeah, but still…” She insisted. She wanted him to know how much this meant to her. How much it meant to her that someone wasn’t letting her slink back into the shadows but was instead keeping her in the bright spotlight. “Thank you.”

He stared at her, seeming to understand what she meant behind it this time. “It’s no problem.”

She gave him a small smile and broke their stare. “So where are we going?”

Harry groaned and she laughed.

They ended up going to the beach again, but not to the same one with the lighthouse where they’d kissed for the second time. No, this was a pier alive with people and commerce despite the November chill already creeping in.

They got some hot chocolate and settled down on a bench facing the ocean. She watched the crashing waves with a smile, always comforted by the sea in some shape and form. “You know, when I was little I was petrified of putting my feet in the ocean. Or even the sand, really.”

“Yeah?” Harry asked, inching closer to her as he blew on his hot chocolate. 

“Yeah. My parents would lower me on the sand and I would raise my feet to the air, refusing to touch the sand.” She smiled at the image. She had been too young to actually remember that, but it was a story her mom had told many times over the years.

“Then what happened?”

She shrugged. “I got over it, I guess.” She took a sip of her hot chocolate. “You going anywhere interesting for break?”

Harry looked ahead at the ocean. His jaw twitched slightly. “Yeah. We’re going college touring actually.”

“Really?” Allie raised her eyebrows. They’d done most of Cassandra’s college tours over the Summer. 

Harry shrugged. “Yeah. We just wanted to take one last look before I finished my applications after break.”

Cassandra had already submitted all of her applications. They were just now waiting patiently for her Early Decision: Yale. Allie was sure she’d get in.

Allie felt like most of their dinner topics for the past couple years had been about Cassandra’s college application process, and so this was certainly something she knew a lot about. The dinners had started to shift towards where _she_ wanted to go, but Allie managed to put them off with ‘I still have time, I have to work on my grades now.’ 

Harry didn’t have that luxury. He was a senior. He needed to figure this all out _now_.

“You know your top choices, yet?”

“I have some in mind, yeah, but nothing too concrete.”

He was being awfully vague with his answers. Either he didn’t want to tell her his options because he thought they wouldn’t measure up to her expectations or he didn’t want to tell her because they were too high and he didn’t want to talk about it in case he didn’t get in. Both of those options didn’t seem like something Harry Bingham would do.

But she just pursed her lips and didn’t comment on his evasiveness. If he wanted to be lowkey about his application process then who was she to force him to do otherwise?

“What about you? Are you going anywhere?”

Allie tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “No, we’re just staying here.”

“Oh, that’s nice. You get to stay and just relax.”

“Yeah. Who wouldn’t want to stay in that tiny little town for as much time as possible?” She sounded much more bitter than she meant to. She just couldn’t explain it. West Ham had started to feel suffocating. It was the same people, the same places, over and over again. 

Allie could feel Harry’s stare but refused to meet his gaze. She was fine. She didn’t want to talk about it.

He let out a breath and put an arm around her shoulders to pull her closer. She easily moved in against him, leaning her head against his shoulder. “Someday, Allie, I’ll take you to the stars.”

She smiled. The answer to Question #10.

_If I could go anywhere I’d go up into the stars._

He remembered. 

“Now, I don’t think I need to make you into a bright constellation since you seem to be a star already.”

“You’re so cheesy.” She still couldn’t help but smile at his words.

He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “You want to get some belgian waffles?”

“Yes, please.”

She got extra whipped cream on hers and he made fun of her when she got some on her nose (she just pushed his face away in response). 

They sat back down on the bench when the sun started to set. Everything was painted golden: the beach, the waves, his arm around her shoulder with their fingers intertwined, his profile as he talked to her. 

In the golden of the fading daylight she could _see_ it. She could see herself walking down the hall holding his hand. She could see him pressing a kiss to her cheek as they bid their goodbye to go to class. She could see them going to parties together, his hand resting at her lower back as they talked with their friends. She could see him giving her flowers after the show and giving her a kiss right there for all of them to see. She could see prom, and finally be able to slow dance for real, and not have to ‘fast dance to a slow song’ to stop herself from feeling awkward and alone. And for just a moment, she could see herself being brave enough to go out there and do this whole thing in the open. 

But then the sun set and the golden faded and all Allie could see was Cassandra’s disapproval and warnings. So she didn’t say anything. He kissed her goodbye a couple blocks away from their houses and they came in a few minutes apart. 

* * *

Harry and Allie spend the entire October break texting. He was coming up so much on her lockscreen that Allie had to change his contact name to something vague so that Cassandra wouldn’t ask questions. 

He was travelling across the country, being really vague about which specific colleges he was visiting. She knew he was in Boston that day, but whether it be for visiting Harvard or just Boston University she wasn’t sure.

She was still in West Ham. Luckily, both Elle and Gordie were staying behind and they spent a lot of time working on the soundtrack. By the end of the two weeks of break they’d managed to wrap up almost all the tracks. It was just so crazy to her at how quickly this was all coming together.

She also spent a lot of time with Elle outside of Gordie’s music studio. They went out for brunch and spent sleepovers watching Turkish dramas. Allie found she was really happy to have another friend like Elle in her life. 

There were many opportunities for her to tell Elle about Harry. She was desperate to talk about it with someone and it would be alright for her to know since she was close friends with her _and_ Harry. Elle wouldn’t tell anyone.  
  
But something held Allie back. It was something she couldn’t quite put her finger on and every time Allie would open her mouth to tell her she would be rendered speechless. But whatever, it was fine. Allie would be fine. She could keep this to herself. It just made it a little more special.

* * *

Allie was listening to music trying to get through her Pre-Calculus homework. School started again tomorrow, and of course, Allie had procrastinated and now she had hours of homework waiting for her. She hated junior year.

Allie heard some clattering against her window and frowned. She paused her music and looked out her window.

Harry was staring up at her in her backyard, a handful of pebbles in his hand. 

_What was he doing?_ Her _whole family_ was home. And she hadn’t even known he’d gotten back to West Ham already.

She opened her window and whisper-yelled at him. “What the fuck are you doing here? My parents might see you.”

Harry just grinned. _“I have night’s cloak to hide me from their eyes, and but thou love me, let them find me here. My life were better ended by their hate than death proroguèd, wanting of thy love.”_

Allie frowned at him. Was he fucking crazy? _“What?”_

He shrugged. “Just practicing my lines.”

Allie looked over her shoulder. Cassandra might hear him. How would she ever explain this? “Then practice somewhere else.”

_“Alack, there lies more peril in thine eye than twenty of their swords. Look thou but sweet, and I am proof against their enmity.”_

“Harry!”

That dick was still smiling. “Come down and I’ll stop.”

Allie hesitated. “Harry… I-I can’t. It’s a Sunday and school starts tomorrow and I haven’t done any of my homework.”

“You can do it on your free tomorrow. Just trust me. It’ll be worth it.”

She really shouldn’t. But God, did she want to. And she had missed him a lot over the past couple weeks. “Fine, you idiot. Just wait a second.”

Allie slipped on some jeans and a sweater, brushed her hair hastily. She snuck down the back door, thanking all the stars above that her parents were watching a movie in the living room.

Harry was waiting for her by the fence that split her backyard from his. She smacked him on your shoulder. “Are you fucking dumb? Do you want to get caught?”

He grinned. “It got you down, didn’t it?”

“There’s something called a phone. You should try that sometime.”

“Now, where’s the fun in that?” He pulled her close by the hips and kissed her. Not being able to help herself, Allie melted into him. 

After a couple long moments she pulled away. “Why didn’t you tell me you were back?”

“I wanted to surprise you.” He smiled and took her hand. “You ready?”

“Are you going to tell me where we’re going this time?”

“Nope.”

She sighed, trying to hold back a smile. “I don't know what I expected at this point.”

He grinned and tugged her along. “Come on, Little Pressman. I know you missed me.”

She just followed him with a smile. 

They didn’t go to his car as she expected. He just led her through the woods at the back of her house. 

“Um… are you going to kill me and leave my body out for the wolves?”

“Nah, I already got your grave dug out.” He answered easily. 

“Oh. Comforting.”

He faltered to a stop and turned back to her with a smile. He looked so excited. “You ready?”

She nodded. His enthusiasm was rubbing off on her. “Ready.” 

He led her a couple more steps until they reached a clearing with a huge pond–Minas Pond. But what had her gasping was that beside the water, there was a picnic blanket and an assortment of foods.

Allie couldn’t believe it. This was the most romantic thing anyone had ever done for her. And this was their second date (well if you didn’t count that time they went out for pizza or the party, but whatever this was their second official date). She couldn’t believe anyone would do something so sweet for her, and Harry Bingham of all people. 

She didn't speak for an alarming amount of time. She had to say _something_. She asked the first thing that came to her mind. “Are those… Hot Cheetos?” 

He laughed and wrapped an arm around her shoulders to kiss her temple. “Well, of course. It wouldn’t be a complete-Allie-Pressman picnic with no Hot Cheetos.”

She grinned and shifted so she could reach up and kiss him. It was long and slow and she just wanted him to know how much this meant to her. “Thank you.”

He stared at her in that way that always made her melt. “Anytime.”

He squeezed her shoulder and moved them towards the blanket. There was _so much_ food, it was mostly unhealthy junk food but she wasn’t complaining. She immediately went for the Cheetos while he opted for the sour gummy worms. Something she’d found out about Harry Bingham fairly quickly was that he was a sucker for any type of sour candy.

After talking and laughing and catching up on the past couple weeks, they both found themselves laying on their backs watching the stars. 

Allie sometimes wondered why people, including herself, were so obsessed with the stars. But then she would look up at the night sky and watch those blinking lights above her and she would understand. There was something about looking up and seeing something so far away and so beautiful, something no one could really truly understand, that was enchanting. She always felt so peaceful when she was under the stars. Maybe that’s why she was bold enough to do what she did next.

“Harry?”

“Yeah?”  
  
“Can I ask you a question?”

“You still have 6 questions left, so technically yes.”

She turned on her cheek to face him. “Why did you disappear last summer?”

She knew she had hit a nerve by the new tension in his jaw. But this was something that she was itching to ask for a long time. Harry had disappeared for months, and no one offered any explanation. There were rumors, obviously, but she wanted the truth. All she knew was that he had disappeared and something seemed different about him when he returned. For one, he and Kelly broke up for good after having dated since they were fifteen. And then he just seemed more… subdued. 

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

She immediately regretted asking him and took his hand. “You know what? It’s fine. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”

He bit his lip and opened his eyes again, but didn’t look at her. He just stared at the sky above them. “After my dad died… things got a little dark for a while. I kept having panic attacks and I couldn’t find the energy to leave my bed most of the time. At one point, I couldn’t even bother to get up and go to the bathroom.” He gripped to her hand tighter, as if it was some sort of lifeline. “My sister found me screaming in pain and I was rushed to the hospital. I hadn’t gone to the bathroom in so long that the fluids had rushed back to my kidneys and I got a kidney infection.”

“Harry…”  
  
“My mom checked me into the psych ward and that’s where I spent most of my summer. I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder and anxiety.”

“Harry, I’m so sorry. I didn’t… I never thought…” She couldn’t find the right words. She hadn’t been expecting this. I mean sure, she’d seen that darkness in him sometimes. He would look out into nowhere and his eyes would glaze over. But those were just moments. She didn’t think they were anything bigger than that.

“It’s okay. I didn’t expect you to know. I’m good at pretending. And most of the time I can keep the darkness at bay. Therapy also helps. The meds too. But sometimes…the world just gets a little too loud and the darkness comes back.” He finally turned to face her and their noses were a breath apart. “But Allie… it’s never going away and I know that now. It just calms down for a little while. That’s just the way my life is.”

Allie reached up with the hand that wasn’t clutching his to brush his cheekbone lightly. “I’m really sorry, Harry. And I know there’s not much I can do to help, but just know that I’m here. I’m not running away.”

He stared at her for a long time and she couldn’t tell what was going through his head. Eventually, he inched closer to kiss her softly and she understood. It didn’t change things, it didn’t fix him, but it helped. And that was enough. 

“I got something for you.”

“Yeah?” She whispered back.

He sat up and she did too. He pulled out a velvet box and for a crazy second Allie thought he was going to propose. But then he opened it and her heart managed to calm down by the fact that there wasn’t an engagement ring inside. There was a gold necklace with a star pendant.

“I saw this and I thought of you. Since I can’t exactly take you to the stars, I thought I could bring one to you instead.”

She smiled and her finger lifted up to brush the pendant lightly. This was so thoughtful she couldn’t believe it. “I love it, Harry.”

He smiled softly at her and reached around to clasp it around her neck. When he pulled away from her, she reached up to cup his cheeks and brought him in for a kiss. They shifted until she was on his lap, his hands tracing patterns on her jean clad thighs.

“I don’t deserve you.”

He shook his head lightly and she could feel it against her lips. “I think you got that the other way around.”

She pressed their lips together once more and all the reservations either one of them had vanished. Because this moment, in the cool night air and the light of the stars, was _theirs_. And for the moment, nothing could change that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, I know I used a Shrek soundtrack BUT SUE ME IT'S BEAUTIFUL OKAY


	8. but you were everything to me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I put off working on my final project for school to finish this so enjoy. Now, I'm going to do three months worth of work in 6 days, cheers!

“Hey.”

Allie looked up from the homework on her lap. Kelly Aldrich was smiling at her, having taken the empty seat next to Allie.

Allie’s eyes flitted to the stage, where Will and Harry were working on Mercutio’s death scene. This was _weird_. She and Kelly were caught up in some weird love-square thingy and she wasn’t even sure that Kelly was _aware_ of it. But Allie was pretty sure that her boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend as well as her ex-crush’s current girlfriend wasn’t supposed to be smiling at her with that much kindness.

“Hey.”

Kelly looked up at the boys on the stage as well. Her smile turned _sad,_ somewhat. She turned back to Allie. “I wanted to apologize. I never wanted to come in between your friendship with Will and–”

“No! You have nothing to apologize for.” Allie interrupted, her hand resting on top of Kelly’s. “It wasn’t your fault. My friendship with Will was already running on fumes, to be honest.”

Kelly gave a breath of relief. “Good. I just never wanted to hurt you.”

“I know.” And she did. She knew Kelly never meant every word. “It’s all good. Same here.”

Kelly smiled and Allie couldn’t help but return it. They were never really friends, that was true, but there had never been any animosity between them. And despite whatever weird love-square thingy they were in, Allie couldn’t bring herself to feel any sort of resentment towards her.

“And I just thought you should know, me and Will aren’t exactly anything anymore.”

Allie balked. She had not seen that coming. They seemed to be alright before break. “Really?”

Kelly nodded. “Yeah. It just wasn’t for the best right now. I’ve been going through a lot lately and I think it’s better for me to be alone for a little while.”

Allie nodded in understanding. “Yeah, I get that. Sometimes we just need to be alone and spend some time learning ourselves.”

“Exactly.” Kelly looked at the stage again, but Allie noticed she wasn’t looking at Will like she was before. She was looking at Harry. “So…you and Harry seem to be really close now.”

Allie followed her gaze and had to restrain a smile from watching Harry act. He was always so enchanting on stage. “Yeah. We’re friends.” 

That was true. They were friends. Just with a lot of other stuff as well.

Kelly looked her up and down with a knowing smile. Allie tried to keep a blank expression but she was sure she was doing a terrible job. “Okay.”

Kelly shifted in her seat, getting more comfortable. “Well, my parents are going to be out of town this weekend so I was thinking of having a Girl’s Night with all the girls of the cast and crew on Friday.” She shrugged with one shoulder. “We can bond and watch movies or something. Then we can all go to rehearsal together the next day. You in?”

Allie nodded quickly. “I’d love that. It sounds like fun.”

She had never been invited to any cast bonding ever. It was usually because Harry was the one who would plan it and he wouldn’t invite either Cassandra or Allie. 

Kelly smiled brightly. “Cool.”

She gave Allie a small wave and stood up. “I’ll see you around.”

“Yeah, see ya.”

* * *

Allie was pointedly trying to ignore her homework by distracting herself with baking. She wanted to bring something to Kelly’s sleepover tomorrow, and had decided to make brownies from _scratch_. 

Which proved to be the stupidest idea ever because Allie had never done it before and it was taking forever. She should’ve just saved herself the trouble and bought brownies from the store instead. Halfway through, Allie figured out she had made a batch big enough to feed a small army. She filled two whole pans with the batter. 

Allie sat on the counter, scooping the brownie batter off the sides with her fingers as she waited for the brownies to bake. This was her favorite part of baking. When Allie was a child, her mom would bake brownies or cakes and she would always call over Allie and Cassandra to eat the batter left over on the bowls before washing them.

She was home alone, her parents still at work and Cassandra still in Debate Club. Allie wiped one of her hands off on a nearby rag and called Harry, putting the phone between her shoulder and her ear. 

“What’s up, Little Pressman?”

“How much would it cost to get you to come over and wash these dishes?”

“Depends. What dishes are they?”

“Just bowls and stuff I used to make brownies.”

“Do I get to eat the brownies?”

“Well, considering I made enough for like 50 people then yes, I think you could take some.”

“On my way.”

It took him less than 5 minutes to cross from his house to hers. He smiled as he found her sitting on the counter, still licking the batter off her fingers. He was still in his clothes from school while she had changed into loose sweatpants and a random T-shirt. 

He came to stand in between her legs and smirked. “You have batter on your nose.”

Allie wrinkled her nose and wiped it off with the back of her hand. Harry turned around to look at the sink and gasped. “Jesus Christ. Did you use all the dishes in your house or something?”

She leaned forward to rest her forearms on his shoulder. “No. I was just baking and before i knew it I had made _way_ too much..”

He sighed and leaned backwards so his back rested against her chest. “What’s this for? A bake sale?”

“Nah. It’s for Kelly’s party.”

She wished she was facing him so she could gouge his reaction. She still wasn’t sure what the information that their parents were sleeping was having on their relationship. The only indication of any discomfort was the slight new tension in his shoulders. “Oh. Didn’t know she was having a party.” 

His voice didn’t give anything away.

“Yeah. It’s just for the girls of the cast. It’ll be a sleepover kind of thing.”

“Nice.” He turned around in her grasp until they were face to face. She still wasn’t used to having Harry this close to her so often. “Are you guys going to pillow fight in your underwear or something?”

Allie raised her eyebrows. “Yes, because that’s what happens every time girls have a sleepover.” She deadpanned.

He only smirked. “What? A guy can dream.”

Allie rolled her eyes. “You’re an idiot.”

“Yeah. I thought you knew that already?”

Allie tried and failed to hold back a smile. She pushed him away on the shoulder gently. “I thought you came here to do my dishes.”

“Well, yeah but that was before I saw you had used like 50 different bowls.”

Allie sighed and hopped off the counter. “Fine. I guess, I’ll help.”

Of course, it seemed to take twice as long when they did it together. It was mostly Harry’s fault, because he kept elbowing her and threatening to spray her with water if she was too slow. But Allie had to admit, it was twice as fun and she couldn’t help but grin the entire time.

They had finished by the time he had to go (Cassandra would be home in like 20 minutes). The brownies were still cooling, so she promised him she would sneak him some of them tomorrow. 

She walked him to the backdoor and he kissed her lazily on the doorstep.

“Thanks for the help.”

“It was my pleasure.” He tucked a loose strand from her ponytail behind her ear. “Hey, my mom is going to be out of town this weekend and Lizzie is off at a friends’ house on Saturday. Do you want to come over and just get some pizza and hang out?”

Allie tried to keep her expression blank at the new information. Kelly’s dad would be out of town the same time Harry’s mom would be… that couldn’t be a coincidence. She wasn’t sure if he had connected the dots yet, but maybe he had and this was his way of saying he didn’t want to be alone. Allie couldn’t say no.

“Sal’s Pizza?”

He grinned. “Of course.”

“Then I’m there. Now _go_ , before we get caught.” 

He pressed another quick kiss to her lips and saluted. She brushed her fingers on the gold star around her neck as she watched him leave.

* * *

Allie showed up at Kelly’s party with Elle at her side. She had a backpack filled with clothes and the brownies she had made yesterday. She still wasn’t sure if she had dressed right for this: leggings and a sweater. I mean, they were going to stay in the house all day and Allie didn’t really want to chill in her jeans.

Kelly opened the door and Allie was relieved to see she was wearing leggings and a sweatshirt. “Hey! Come on in.” 

She stood off to the side to let Elle and Allie walk into the foyer. The house was a typical two-story American house, with portraits littering the walls of the hallway. Allie could hear Lizzo blaring from somewhere in the house.

“You guys can leave your stuff in my room. Let me show you.”

She led them up the stairway and into a room with light pink walls. There were fairy lights strung up on the walls and a Queen-sized bed with a purple duvet. Kelly nodded to the mattresses laid on the floor. “Gwen and Olivia are sleeping in here with me. You guys can take one of the spare rooms but just leave your stuff here for now.”

Allie pulled out the tupperware from her bag. “I brought some brownies.”

Kelly smiled so brightly it looked like Allie had told her all the dreams had come true. “That’s great. Thank you.” Allie handed them to her. “We can take these down to the kitchen. The rest of the girls are in there just trying to figure out how to make Frozen Margaritas.”

She led Elle and Allie to the kitchen. They found Gwen, Olivia and Lexie all bickering over a blending machine as “Good as Hell” blasted through the speaker on the counter.

“Gwen, that’s way too much Tequila!” Olivia protested. 

“There’s no such thing.” Gwen replied before pouring more from the bottle.

“Ugh, why won’t this fucking salt stick?” Lexie complained as she tried putting some salt on the rim with her fingers.

“Guys!” Kelly yelled and they all looked up, noticing them for the first time. “Allie and Elle are here.”

They all gave them tentative smiles and Allie was painfully aware of how she and Elle were the intruders in an already established friend group. But Helena, Becca and Bean should get here soon, so it would be fine.

Allie smiled and moved to stand next to Lexie. “Well, actually that’s not how you do it. Look.”

She took one of the small plates and poured salt until there was a fine layer. She grabbed one of the glasses and grabbed one of the cut slices of lime. 

“You just rub these on the rim and then press them against the salt like this.” She flipped the cup and pressed it firmly against the salt on the plate. After a couple seconds she lifted the cup to show off the perfectly salted rim.

Allie had never been the biggest fan of Lexie; she always seemed a little cold and loved to criticize everything. But Allie felt somewhat satisfied at the impressed look on Lexie’s face. “Thanks.”

The girls were almost finished making the margaritas when Becca arrived. Allie felt a weight leave her shoulder at the sight of her brunette best friend, and wrapped an arm around her shoulder to give her a hug.

They had moved to the living room by the time Helena and Bean arrived. They were laying across the couches or on the floor happily nursing their margaritas and eating Allie’s brownies–which Allie was proud to admit were pretty good. Helena and Bean both opted not to drink–no one was really surprised–and drank some soda instead.

Allie was surprised to admit how much fun she was having. She never knew she needed to get slightly buzzed with all these girls until now.

“I mean, I’m sorry, I _love_ _her_.” Gwen continued her rant about Ms. Hernandez’ crazy outfits as all of them laughed. “But that purple floral dress needs to _go_. She really needs to shop somewhere else than Desigual.”

Allie rolled her eyes from her spot between Kelly’s legs who was braiding her hair into a french braid.

Gwen leaned back on the couch, still clutching that bottle of tequila like it was a life vest. “Okay. Change of topic. Let’s play ‘Fuck, Marry, Kill’ with the guys on the cast.”

Lexie groaned. “God, Gwen. Why are you so obsessed with that game?” 

Gwen shrugged. “It’s a classic. Okay. My version, my rules. You pick one. If you marry them, you can still fuck them, I guess, it just won’t be the same. Okay, we should probably start with the lead, Harry.”

“Gwen!” Helena protested. Bean looked similarly unimpressed.

Gwen raised her eyebrows. “What? It’s not like Kelly’s dating him anymore.”

Allie wished Kelly wasn’t braiding her hair so she could see her reaction. She heard Kelly give out a huff of breath. 

“It’s fine.” Kelly said and continued to work on Allie’s hair.

Allie could tell it was determinately not fine by the forced casual tone in Kelly’s voice and changed the subject. “Why don't we just play something else? Truth or Dare or Never Have I Ever?”

She widened her eyes at Elle and she seemed to get the message. “Yeah, let’s play Never Have I Ever.”

Gwen rolled her eyes but conceded. “Fine. I’ll start. Never have I ever blacked out.”

Becca was the only one who took a drink and Allie glared at her. “When did that happen?”

Becca shrugged. “You weren’t there. It was during the summer.”

Kelly asked Allie for a hair tie and tied the end of french braid. She patted Allie on the shoulder sweetly. “All done.”

Allie swept a hand over the braid, and looked over her shoulder to smile at Kelly. “Thanks.”

“It was the least I could do.” Kelly smiled at her and Allie swore she saw something like gratitude in them. Allie understood. _It was the least I could do after you saved me._

It was that that kept Allie in her space between Kelly’s legs. She leaned further back against the couch and rested her head on Kelly’s knee. Kelly brushed a hand on Allie’s shoulder. 

“Okay, let’s go around the circle.” Gwen added. “Olivia, you’re up.”

Olivia blanched, her eyes widened. “Um… I guess… never have I ever… had sex?”

Gwen rolled her eyes, muttering something under her breath about _basic question_. Gwen, Becca, Elle and Kelly all took a sip.

Allie was unsurprised and stared down at her hands. She tried not to think too hard on who Kelly had lost her virginity to.

“Really?” Gwen asked Helena. “You and Luke have been dating forever though.”

Helena just shrugged, only seeming a little bothered by the question. “I just want to wait and he respects that. It’s no big deal.”

“Was your first time with Clark, Gwen?” Bean asked.

“Yeah.” Something in Gwen softened as she stared off into space, immersed in the memory. “It was actually really sweet. We drove to the lake and he was so gentle. I think he was afraid of hurting me. He held my hand after and told me he loved me.” She sighed. “I miss that.”

Gwen jumped a little, seeming to realize what she had just said. She took a big sip of her margarita before turning to Kelly. “How was your first time, Kel? I don’t really remember if you told me it was good or not.”

Allie took a sip of her drink, trying not to think of how her answer would impact her relationship with Harry. But what if she said he was bad? What if she said he had been insensitive or something? Allie was still a virgin and she didn’t want to lose it to someone who was terrible. 

Wait, was she actually considering having sex with Harry Bingham? God, that’s a thought she never thought she would have.

“It was fine. It hurt a lot, to be honest.” Kelly added with a small laugh. “I was 15, and looking back I think it was a little too soon. But Harry was really sweet. I think he was as nervous as I was. But overall, it was a pretty nice way of losing it.”

“Mine was terrible.” Becca said, looking down at her drink. “I wish I hadn’t done it.”

“And yours, Elle?” Gwen asked.

Elle’s eyes widened, her face going unusually white. Kelly seemed to sense her discomfort and immediately added. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” 

Elle gave her a grateful smile and continued drawing on her arm with sharpie.

“How about we watch a movie and order Chipotle?” Kelly asked.

“Oh, I’m so in.” Bean said. 

They all moved to squeeze into the couches, Allie was sandwiched between Elle and Kelly. It took forever to choose a movie. After arguing about whether they should watch a horror movie (“No, Elle we’re not watching The fucking Conjuring”) or a rom-com (“We can’t watch the Notebook like how, cliche are we?”), Kelly eventually took control and put on Mamma Mia!, ignoring any protests by claiming this was her house so she got to choose.

Apparently it was the best of options, because as every song started playing they would jump up, the alcohol still warm on their veins, and sing loudly and do hilariously bad dramatic interpretive dances. Allie had to admit that Gwen’s and Lexie’s rendition of “Super Trouper” was pretty awesome, but not nearly as good as hers and Kelly’s duet to “S.O.S”. Elle and Helena did “Does Your Mother Now” and Allie rolled on the floor with laughter when they did Tanya’s iconic “boob pump” at the exact same time. The best ones of course were “Mamma Mia” and “Dancing Queen”, where all of them just danced and sang together at the top of their lungs. Becca took many, many pictures.

Allie’s face hurt from smiling. 

She all but collapsed at the bed in the spare room, Elle already dozing at her side. She grinned into her pillow, still feeling good at all the fun she’d had tonight.

* * *

They all woke up the next in varying degrees of being hungover. 

Helena was completely fine, of course. She made them all tea and coffee with a small, smug smile on her face. Bean seemed to be equally enjoying not being hungover while the rest of them basked in their misery.

Kelly was the “I need to eat now or I’ll puke” type of hungover and made them all waffles. 

Gwen seemed the worst, which made sense considering she had been the one to drink the most. She was unusually silent, and didn’t touch any of the food claiming she would throw up if she even took a bite.

Becca was still half asleep, her eyes drooping closed every once in a while as she leaned her head on Kelly’s shoulder.

Allie just felt like shit. There was really no way to describe it. She felt empty except for a vague feeling of nausea. The waffle and tea made her feel somewhat better. She pulled her hair into a bun and threw a grey sweatshirt on for rehearsal, still feeling like she was one bad move away from puking or passing out.

They drove to school in two cars, Kelly, Lexie, Gwen, Olivia in one and Helena, Becca, Allie, Bean and Elle in the other.

Allie kept the window open for the entire drive, being in a car hungover seemed to only make the nausea worse. The fresh air helped. Sort of.

The girls were one of the first ones to get there and they all settled in the front row. It was the first time they had all stayed together like this during rehearsal, but Allie guessed that singing drunkenly to Mamma Mia! tended to create a bond between people.

“Okay, everyone!” Ms. Hernandez yelled and all of the girls (except Helena and Bean) flinched simultaneously. “Let’s get started.”

Allie had to admit she was a little slow this morning, so it took her a little longer than usual to process what Ms. Hernandez was wearing. _Oh my God._ It was the purple floral dress.

She made eye-contact with Gwen who seemed to have noticed the same thing. She looked away trying to prevent herself from laughing. The snickers from the girls around her told her that they had also seen it. She tried not making eye-contact with any of them, knowing that would make her break, and climbed on to the stage.

Harry smirked when their eyes met and Allie rolled her eyes. 

“Fun night?”

“Shut up.”

That only made his smirk deepen.

“Are you still up for tonight?” He asked under his breath. “You look like you need two days to recover from whatever you girls did.”

“Okay, first of all, _ouch._ And second of all, yes I’m still up for tonight. Might take a bath or something after rehearsal or something to get this hangover off my system, but I’ll be there.”

He smiled, it was _not_ a smirk, but something softer and somewhat excited. “Okay.”

They didn’t get to say much else before Ms. Hernandez started splitting them into groups and having them work on blocking with the lights. Becca and Sam were finally getting to work on the lighting for the first time.

Despite the nausea Allie felt the entire rehearsal, she weirdly thought this was one of the most fun Saturday rehearsals she had so far. Maybe it was because of the jokes she shared with Kelly under her breath or the frustrated glances she exchanged with Gwen when someone was stupid. Or maybe it was because Elle spent 30 minutes drawing a tree on her forearm with a sharpie as they talked softly backstage. Or maybe it was because of the way Harry would purposely graze his fingers against hers in a way that drove her insane. 

Or maybe it was all of those things put together making her feel a little less alone. She wasn’t used to that feeling yet.

* * *

Allie used one of her bath bombs she saved for special occasions (she only had three after all). I was called “Sex Bomb” and Allie just liked it because it smelled amazing and left the water all pink and sparkly.

She was listening to “Bags” by Clairo for the third time, that song had been stuck on her head all day, when her phone lit up with a notification.

Becca created a group chat with all of them and sent all the pictures she took that night. Allie smiled when she scrolled through them with a smile on her face. It had been a really fun night. 

When Kelly named the group chat “the girls that carry the show on their back” Allie laughed out loud. They all kept texting and sending each other memes or stuff about the play. 

Allie felt something in her brain mind solidify and she chose her favorite picture that Becca took and it made it her lockscreen.

It was one she had taken during Dancing Queen. Kelly and Helena were raising fake microphones to their hands. Elle and Allie were all back-to-back with their arms raised in what looks like mid-sprinkler. Gwen was half-covering a laugh with her hand while her other arm was around Bean’s shoulders. Lexie and Olivia were only half-in the frame.

Allie smiled whenever she looked at it.

* * *

Allie knocked at the door at around 8. 

Barely a minute had gone by when a grinning Harry opened the door. “Hey.”

“Hey.”

“Well, you look considerably less shitty than you did this morning.”

Allie rolled her eyes and turned around to leave when he laughed and grabbed her hips to keep her in place. “I’m sorry, you know I was kidding.”

“You’re such an asshole.”

“Well, obviously.” Allie glared at him. He smirked and pulled her closer. “You know, you always look beautiful.”

She raised her eyebrows and tried to hold back a smile, refusing to bend so easily.

“And I also already ordered the pizza. Including your basic pepperoni.”

Now, _that_ got her smiling. “Thank you very much.”

He grinned and pulled her into a kiss. Allie let herself melt into it easily, her hands coming to rest at the back of his neck.

After a couple moments, he pulled apart. “Do you want to come inside?”

She nodded and he pulled her in by the hand. Allie let her eyes travel through the space, taking it all in. She had only been inside Harry’s house once or twice when they were kids and their parents still pretended to be friends and all “neighbourly.” It was still as white and big and _cold_ as she remembered. 

“I was planning on saving some brownies for tonight but Lizzie ate all of them.” Harry admitted as he took a seat on the grey couch. There was an unlit fireplace in front of them with a massive TV above it.

“She did? Did you tell her they were mine?”

He nodded and draped an arm across the back of the couch. “Yeah, I just told her you made some brownies for the whole cast.”

“And she believed you?” That didn’t sound like the Lizzie she knew. 

“Well, she had a mouth full of brownies so it was kind of hard to be skeptical.”

Allie laughed. She moved to settle in closer to him and she could see him smile out of the corner of her eye. “So, what are we watching?”

Harry scratched the back of his neck. “Well, actually I do have something in mind. I think you’ll quite like it.”

“Okay then, you got me intrigued.”

“But it’s a surprise. You have to close your eyes.”

Allie rolled her eyes but then closed them. She heard the clicking of the remote, wondering what it could be that he was making it a surprise.

“Okay, open them.”

Allie laughed loudly when she saw the name on the screen: Tangled. She shoved his shoulder. “You fucking idiot.”

(Also of course, Harry would be the type of rich idiot who actually had Disney+. She had to remember to ask for his password later.)

“What?” He blinked down at her innocently, inching away from her smacks. His lips betrayed him with a smirk. “I thought you’d like it.”

Allie scoffed. “Well, jokes on you because I will be singing to every lyric as loud and obnoxiously as I possibly can.”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

It had been years she had watched this movie, but Allie was happy to find out she still knew all the words to “When Will My Life Begin?” like always. He stared at her with a grin the entire time.

The pizza came in halfway through the movie and she happily ate her pepperoni with her legs over his lap. Allie had to give her 8 year old self credit, Harry really was the perfect Flynn Rider. She asked him to braid her hair like Rapunzel’s during “I See the Light.” 

“How do you know I can braid hair?”  
  
“I’ve seen your sister go to school, Harry. Are you telling me you’re not the one who braids her hair everyday?”

He conceded and braided her hair into a french braid. He pressed a light kiss to the back of her neck before pulling her against him. She smiled and raised her hands to intertwine with his against her stomach. 

They stayed like that until the credits rolled. He rubbed the final strands of her french braid between his fingers as they laid in silence.  
  
“What are you thinking about?” He whispered.

“Honestly?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m wondering whether you’ll let me build a blanket fort.”

She felt his chuckle against her back. “I’ll do anything if you ask me nicely.”

She turned until they lay chest to chest. Her nose brushed his as she stared down at him. She brushed her fingers against his cheekbone. “Please let me build a blanket fort in your living room.”

He smiled before reaching up to kiss her softly. “Fine.”

They gathered a bunch of extra blankets from his linen closet and draped them over the couches. The spread layers and layers of blankets on the floor with plenty of pillows to keep them comfortable. It took a while, but she felt like she’d finally build a blanket fort worthy of making Troy and Abed proud.

“I feel like I'm in ‘Community’.” He mused when they were finally done.

She turned to stare at him in disbelief. Did he just…

His eyebrows scrunched together. “What?”

She lunged for him and pressed a firm kiss to his lips. He leaned back a bit in surprise but returned her intense kiss without much protest, his hands coming to rest at her thighs and pulling her firmly to his lap.

He blinked up at her when she pulled away. He smiled at her, looking a little bit wrecked. “What was that for?”

“Because you just referenced one of my favorite sitcoms and I honestly can’t believe you’re real.” She confessed honestly. It was a pretty stupid in hindsight, but she couldn’t describe why it made her heart soar.

He still grinned up at her like she hadn’t said something incredibly stupid. “Well, you’ll just have to give me a list of your favorite shows if you’re going to keep kissing me like that whenever I talk about them.”

“It’s a really long list.”

“Worth it.”

“You’re an idiot.” She grinned against his lips before pulling him into a much slower and softer kiss. This time though, neither of them pulled apart. 

They kissed while Harry traced patterns on her thighs. They kissed while Allie tugged his hair gently. They kissed when he started easing her slowly to the ground, her back hitting the blankets and her head only catching the edge of a pillow. 

They pulled apart for a moment, their foreheads resting against one another. When he pulled apart a little further to stare into her eyes, Allie couldn’t help but think that maybe this was it. Maybe this would be her first time.

Allie always thought she’d lose her virginity to someone she loved. And she didn’t love Harry Bingham. Maybe one day she could, but not yet. They just hadn’t had enough time. 

But Allie asked herself. _If I did this with him now, would I regret it? Would I look back like Becca and say it had been a mistake? Or would I be like Kelly and think it was too soon?_

And in that moment, Allie _knew_. No, she wouldn’t regret this. The peace and calmness in her stomach told her this wasn’t a mistake. She wasn’t in love, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t special.

“Harry. You should know I haven’t ever…”

He didn’t look surprised but he shook his head quickly. “We don’t have to. We can take this whatever pace you want to.”

“I know.” She reached up to cup his cheek. “I want to.”

The smile he gave her made it all the more worth it.

Allie Pressman lost her virginity to Harry Bingham in a blanket fort. It wasn’t perfect. It _hurt_ and Allie had to bite her lip to try and numb the pain. But then he looked her in her eyes and for that moment she was truly his as much as he was hers. And she didn’t regret that for a second.

* * *

Honestly, Allie felt she would feel more different after losing her virginity. Half of her was expecting to feel more victorious at finally being able to understand and directly relate to half the songs on the radio. Maybe it was because she couldn’t really tell anyone it had happened, but Allie doubted it. The aftermath just felt kind of anti-climatic.

Part of her would think: _that’s it?_

After all the time people spent talking about sex she was expecting it to be more life-changing. But it’s not like it was bad, because it wasn’t. Once the pain subsided and she _really_ got to enjoying it, it was really _really_ good.

She still quite liked it, though. It was weird being so vulnerable with someone on a purely physical aspect. She still wasn’t used to it. 

But she still expected to feel more… different. Maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing though. She didn’t want sex to completely change her _or_ her relationship with Harry. It was just something new, something for her to explore. And _God_ , she didn’t mind exploring with Harry for the next couple weeks.

* * *

On December 14th, Cassandra came rushing into Allie’s room. “I got into Yale!”

Allie dropped her pen. “You got into Yale?”

Cassandra nodded with a huge smile and jumped up and down. “I GOT INTO YALE!”

Allie screamed and jumped from her bed to pull her sister into a hug. Both of them screaming and jumping and laughing as they embraced.

Allie could say she had never doubted her sister for a second. Cassandra was an ‘Ivy League’ type of person. She was someone who was meant to go to an amazing school and go out and save the world. 

Allie didn’t let any of her own insecurities creep into her mind. No, this was Cassandra’s moment and she let herself feel nothing but joy at the fact that her sister’s dreams were coming true.

* * *

“Are you going anywhere cool during Winter break?” Allie asked as she traced patterns on his back. 

She had sneaked into his room again, climbing up through the tree conveniently placed by his window. He never complained, and in the first time she did it he even told her that this made _her_ Romeo.

“I’m going skiing in Switzerland.” He murmured against his pillow.

Allie scoffed. “Of course, you are.”  
  
“What’s that supposed to mean?” He asked with no malice in his voice.

She pressed a kiss to his shoulder. “It means you’re a rich asshole, and that’s a rich asshole vacation.”

He groaned in protest with his eyes closed. “You wound me.” 

He didn’t say anything for such a long while that Allie thought he might’ve fallen asleep. 

“Are you going anywhere?” 

“Nope.” She answered, still tracing her fingers across his back. 

He hummed in response. A couple beats went by before he spoke again. “Did you just write FML on my back?”

A pause.

“Maybe.”

He sighed, half-amused before shifting to be able to pull her against him, her leg coming up over his hip. “Go to sleep, Allie.”

“I can’t. I just keep thinking about the finalized soundtrack we sent to Mr. Wilson. What if we should’ve worked on it a bit more?”

“Allie, you guys spent hours and hours working on that. I think you spent enough time on it.”

“But what if we fucked up? What if it’s just bad?”

He sighed. “That’s not possible. Now, go to sleep before I have to kick you out of my bed for keeping me awake.”

She shut up at that and before she knew it, she had drifted off to a deep sleep.

* * *

Allie was bored so she decided to bake brownies again, but this time she managed to reduce the quantity to an actual normal size. She decided to bring some to Harry and Lizzie, under the guise of neighbourly spirit.

She knocked on their front door, feeling a little bit weird. She usually snuck through the back, walking up his pool. She couldn’t remember the last time she had stood on these front steps.

Lizzie was the one who opened the door, and for a moment Allie was struck by how much she’d grown. Whenever she thought of Lizzie she thought of the little girl who wore braids with pink hair ties to school. The girl who forced his brother to have a Spotify playlist with the title “pink fluffy unicorns” with only Disney songs. But the girl in front of her was well into her middle school years. She looked Allie up and down looking very skeptical. “Hey, Allie. What’s up?”

“Hey. I made some brownies and I had so many that I thought I would bring some for you and Harry.” This felt kind of ironic considering this time she had actually made the proper amount of brownies and was lying through her teeth.

Lizzie gasped, looking at the brownies like they were some sort of treasure. All of her suspicion seemed to vanish at the mention of the food. “Oh my God, yes! Those brownies are heaven.”

Allie offered her the tupperware and Lizzie took it easily. “Well, come in. Let me make you some tea or something as a thank you.”  
  
“Oh, you really don’t have to–”

“Yeah, I do.” She grabbed Allie’s hand and pulled her into the house, as bossy as her older brother. “These brownies are a gift from God and I can’t believe you would give them to us like this.”

Allie took a seat at the kitchen table while Lizzie put water in the kettle. “Where’s Harry?” Allie couldn’t help but ask. She couldn’t remember if he had said he had something planned today.

Lizze leaned against the sink and scratched the back of her head. “He’s at a um…doctor’s appointment.”  
  
Allie had some idea what that was code for. But Lizzie had no idea that Allie was close enough to Harry to know about his therapy. 

Lizzie was quick to change the subject. “I heard Cassandra got into Yale, congratulations.”

She said it almost like Allie had anything to do with it. “Thanks. Yeah, we’re all really proud of her.”

“But aren’t you freaking out about how much you’re going to miss her?” Lizzie asked. “Like yeah, she’ll still be in Connecticut but it won’t be the same. I mean, I’m freaking out about Harry being up in Dartmouth when it’s only 2 hours away.”

 _Wait, what?_ “Dartmouth?”

Lizzie nodded with a smile. “Yeah, you haven’t heard? He got in E.D a couple days ago.” 

The kettle started to sing and Allie was saved from having to respond. Why hadn’t he told her about this? Why did he hide this from her like a dirty little secret instead of the huge accomplishment it really was? He got into an Ivy-freaking-League. That wasn’t something that you would just forget to mention.

“Yeah, I still can’t believe it.” Lizzie kept talking as she poured the water into the mugs, completely oblivious to the hurricane of thoughts going through Allie’s head. 

“That’s amazing, congratulations.” Her voice sounded strained even to her own ears but Lizzie didn’t seem to notice.

She kept conversation with the younger girl until she finished the tea in her mug. Allie felt like she was on the brink of breaking with every sentence but she made it through in one piece. All the while she had these thoughts on a loop in her head.

 _Harry is an Ivy-league kid._ _He’s going to an amazing school and go out and save the world._

(And I’m not.)

* * *

Allie didn’t mention she knew about Dartmouth when he texted her thanking her for the brownies. She wasn’t really know why she didn’t confront him about it but she just didn’t. She kept pretending to be oblivious and he kept not telling her that he already had been accepted _Early Decision_ to an Ivy-League.

Elle was drawing an intricate flower on the back of Allie’s hand when Ms. Hernandez finally came in the theater looking frantic. “Okay, everyone, this is the last rehearsal before break and we have a lot to do. First, we need to re-block some scenes because we won’t be using the pit anymore.”

Allie’s eyes snapped up from Elle’s drawing. “Wait, what? Why? Where’s the band gonna go?”

Ms. Hernandez looked a mix of exasperated and furious when she sighed. “There won’t be a band anymore. Mr. Wilson has said that the soundtracks are ‘too much work’ and ‘straining’ for the jazz band members, and he has decided to not waste his precious time by investing in this project.” She looked at Allie with a somewhat pitying look and lowered her voice. “I’m sorry, Allie. It just doesn’t seem like it’s gonna work out after all.”

Allie just stared, being unable to process what Ms. Hernandez was telling her. Elle’s hand tightened around her wrist. “Allie…”

She didn’t respond and just stood up. Ms. Hernandez seemed to understand Allie’s need to be alone and didn’t protest when she ran out of the theater and into the hallway outside.

Elle came out not seconds after. “Allie, I’m so sorry.”

She shook her head, not being able to help the frustrated tears that came to her eyes. “I’m the one who’s sorry. I just wasted your time on a project that ended up being for nothing. _Fuck_.” She leaned against the wall and buried her face in her hands. “Mr. Wilson didn’t even bother to fucking tell me. He didn’t even care how much time we spent on it. He just broke his promise without a second thought.”

“Maybe we can still make it happen–”

“How?” Allie snapped her head from her hands. “How the fuck are we supposed to do that Elle with no fucking band? Are you going to play the entire fucking set on your violin? Because I don’t think that’s gonna fix it.”

Elle stared at her, speechless at her outburst. Allie rolled her eyes and wiped her face with the back of her hand. “Tell Ms. Hernandez I wasn’t feeling well and I had to go home.”

“Allie, this is the last rehearsal before break–”

“I don’t fucking care, Elle. Just do it.” She barked, not caring how much of a bitch she was being right now. Allie left and walked down the hallway without another word.

Cassandra picked her up after she called her in tears. Allie didn’t really want to explain what happened and just let Cassandra hold her hand in silence. Thankfully, her sister didn't ask.

She was such a failure. God, what was the point of even trying when everything Allie did just slipped out of her reach. 

She thought she had finally taken control of her life, and become some sort of “ a drinking-tea-illicitly-in-a-classroom-badass” but she had been so wrong. No, she was just a regular girl who couldn’t do stuff right and who managed to break the stupidest school rule ever once in a while. And they wanted _her_ to play Juliet? She felt like a fraud.

She hated looking at her lockscreen, the photo feeling like another lie in her life. They weren't her friends, at least not anymore after the way she ditched them all in the rehearsal.

Harry texted her to come down a couple hours after she’d curled up in her bed and cried. She didn’t want to leave and talk to Harry, but she did anyways. She didn’t bother changing out of her sweats when she met him out in her backyard.

“Hey.” 

She crossed her arms. “Hey.” 

He bit his lip, obviously thrown off by how cold she was being. “You shouldn’t have disappeared like that. We were all counting on you.” 

“Harry, did you just call me out here to lecture me because I’m really not up for it, right now.”

“No. I came to talk to you because I was worried about you. I know how much this project meant to you.”

Of course, he did. If there was one person besides Gordie and Elle who understood how much of her sweat and tears had been poured into this soundtrack it was Harry.

“Allie, I know this fucking sucks but it’s going to be alright.” He reached out to touch her arm and she angled out of reach.

“No, it’s not going to be fucking alright, Harry. Do you not understand what this means? This means that this project I worked on for _weeks_ , this project that was my fucking baby, was a waste of time.” Allie looked away from him to wipe her cheeks, tears already coming down again. The words were all flooding out of her now that she had started to let them out. “I should’ve known better. I should’ve known better to think that I could pull off something so big, I-I-” Her voice dropped to a whisper, “I’m not Cassandra.”

“What does Cassandra have to do with anything?”

“Because she’s _someone_ and I’m not.” Allie spat out before she could stop herself. Harry’s face dropped further, his eyebrows furrowing ever so slightly. “Cassandra and…and you, you're the type of people that do stuff like this. You’re going to be someone. You’re both going to go places and change the world and I’ll be living the mediocre and uneventful life I was meant to live. I was just pretending to be someone I’m not. You’re wasting your time with someone like me.”

Harry stepped closer to her and the look on his face is what made her let him take her hands into his. “Wha-Where the fuck is this coming from, Allie?”

She looked him straight in the eyes. He looked so confused, so desperate. “I know about Dartmouth.”

His eyes cleared, realization setting in. “Oh.”

“Yeah. ‘Oh’.” She locked her jaw, trying to get her lip to stop trembling. She wanted to look strong but the truth was that she wasn't. She had always just been pretending. Will had been right, this wasn’t who she is. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

He looked completely speechless. “I-I…”

Allie gave him a sad smile and squeezed his hands. “It’s okay. I know why you didn’t tell me. It’s because you know what this means for us.”

His face changed. “And what do you think this means for us, Allie?” He deadpanned.

She took a wavering breath. “It means…that this is proof of how different we are. How different our destinies are. You got into _Dartmouth_ , Harry. That’s an Ivy League school. I couldn’t even dream of getting into a school that good.”

He shook his head. “That’s bullshit, Allie, you–”

“No, Harry.” She interrupted. “It’s not bullshit. It’s true. We’re so fucking different, we practically come from different worlds. You think you’re fucked up but you’re not. You’re just a little broken but that doesn’t stop you from being incredible. You’re a star. And you’re going to shine so brightly in your life, Harry Bingham, you just can’t see it yet.”

“Allie, you’re so wrong. I’m not… you’re not–”  
  
“But I am. And it’s about damn fucking time I stopped lying to myself that I’m otherwise.” 

His eyes were pleading with her, as if he knew what her next words would be. But as much as she didn’t want to say them, she _had to._ “This isn’t going to work, Harry.”

He stepped closer to her. “No. You’re not doing this, Allie. I’m not letting you run away.”

“But I’m not running away, I’m _pushing you_ away. You think that you’re fucked up and I was this sort of star but you were wrong. I’m the one who doesn’t deserve to be with you.”

“No. Allie, that’s not true.” He clutched her hands tighter and she tried to pull them from his grasp to no avail.

“Why do you think we had to keep this a secret, huh? Why do you think we had to hide?” He gaped at her and Allie’s heart broke. But she had to go on. They had to stop fooling themselves. “It’s because we both knew this wasn’t going to work and it wasn’t worth the trouble. Tell me I’m wrong, Harry.”

He didn’t say a word. He only stared at her. Allie’s eyes started to water even more and she bit her lip. This time, when she tried to pull her hands from his he let them slip through his fingers. 

She reached back and unclasped her necklace. The gold star felt like a blaring lie to her. He didn’t say anything as she pressed it against his hand, 

“Goodbye, Harry.”  
  
She left him there, staring at her in a way that cracked her heart. She didn’t dare look back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'd say im sorry for the way this chapter ending but i'm really not. it's literally in the prologue guys _"And, like all great love stories, somebody is gonna have their heart broken"_
> 
> i was also like really bored so I made a quiz a couple weeks ago called "which one of liv's fanfics are you?" so take it if you want. Here's the link: https://uquiz.com/2wTIk5


	9. this love is difficult but it's real

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter is here!! It's crazy to think how this fic was written entirely in quarantine. It's literally been a saving grace and a weird trip down memory lane on my own high school theatre days that are now officially behind me (My last day of senior year was officially 5 days ago wtf).
> 
> Anyway, I managed to fit in most of the tracks that I had chosen for the play with the help of my best friend Maria except for the one we chose for the balcony scene. So I chose to tag it [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fk8323r577w), especially since this scene makes a comeback in this chapter.
> 
> I wanted to thank everyone that supported this fic and followed it through to the end. I hope you liked seeing Allie's journey with life and love as much as I did.

Allie couldn’t even bring herself to face the last day of school before Winter break. It was just one day. But she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t go back and face her friends, the ones she’d disappointed by being a failure. She couldn’t go back and face Harry. Her heart broke just at the thought of seeing him in the halls.

When her mother knocked on her door and asked her why she wasn’t down for breakfast already, Allie burst into tears and told her about what happened at rehearsal. She pleaded with her to not let her go to school and her mother conceded. 

Allie had stopped sniffing to stare at her in surprise. She hadn’t expected her mom to agree so easily. “Really?”

Her mother smiled and pushed Allie’s hair out of her face gently. “Yes, really. I trust you, Allie. You wouldn’t ask to miss school unless you _really_ don’t want to go. So if you don’t want to go, then you don’t have to. 

Allie hugged her mom in thanks and let her hold for a little while longer. Cassandra came in and pressed a kiss to Allie’s forehead promising to talk to her after school.

Allie lay in bed all day watching “A Very Potter Musical” in an attempt to make herself feel better. It worked a little. But it didn’t improve the void she felt inside. 

She had failed. She always failed. She didn’t want to bother trying anymore.

Cassandra fulfilled her promise and came into Allie’s room as soon as she got back. She crawled beside Allie and lay on top of her covers, waiting for her to speak.

Allie lay on her back and fixated on the neon stars glued to her ceiling. “I don't really wanna talk right now.”

She could feel Cassandra’s stare on her but she wasn’t scared her sister would prod. Cassandra always knew how to pick up on her cues and she could probably tell that pushing her on this would only make Allie feel worse.

“Okay. Well if you do… I’ll be right down the hall.”

Allie faced her and tried to give her a reassuring smile. “I know.”

Cassandra gave her hand a squeeze and let her be. 

Allie stared at her ceiling for a while. The stars weren’t glowing right now since they hadn’t seen any light for a while. They used to be peaceful. They used to bring her peace of mind that she would get out of this stupid town someday. Recently, they had even begun to remind her of Harry. But now…now they just seemed like a broken promise. 

_Since I can’t exactly take you to the stars, I thought I could bring one to you instead._

She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to push his voice out of her head. Her hand found its way to her neck almost subconsciously, and she traced the spot where a gold necklace used to sit. 

She had made her decision. It wasn't going to end well anyway, so why bother postponing the inevitable heartbreak? But it _hurt_ _so much._ She felt like her heart had broken into a million pieces and she wanted nothing more than to pick up the phone and call him.

Everything that had made her happy–the play, her friends, Harry–seemed to have imploded in one afternoon. She didn’t know what to do with herself now. She was alone.

Allie wiped the tears from her cheeks and turned “A Very Potter Musical” back on.

There was a soft knock on the door. Allie didn’t answer and Cassandra opened the door tentatively. “There’s someone at the door for you.”

Allie couldn’t think of anyone who would want to talk to her right now. She had pushed everyone away: Harry, Will, Elle. “Who is it?”

Cassandra pursed her lips. “I think it’s better if you come see for yourself.”

That was all she said before she shut the door behind her. Allie sighed and debated whether she should put something nicer on before deciding against it. She couldn’t be bothered to change from her sweats. 

She padded down on the stairs and stopped halfway when she saw who was there. Kelly, Becca, Helena and _Elle_. “What are you guys doing here?” She asked before she could stop herself.

Kelly gave her a hesitant smile. “You weren’t at school today so we wanted to make sure you were okay. We brought brownies.” 

Allie walked the rest of the steps slowly. She came to a stop at the last step.

“Elle told us what happened.” Helena explained. Elle looked down at her feet awkwardly. “We thought we could come here and try to figure out if we could find some way to fix it.”

“Why?” Allie asked. Her voice sounded more emotional than she wanted it to but she ignored it. “Why are you guys doing this for me?”

“Because what you pulled off in a couple months was amazing.” Kelly said. “You managed to write an entire soundtrack and it deserves to be heard.”

Becca nodded. “What Mr. Wilson did was fucked up. He didn’t even _try_.”

Allie didn’t say anything. She met Elle’s eyes and they stared at each other for a long moment. She wished Elle knew how sorry she was for snapping at her. She just couldn’t bring herself to say it.

Elle seemed to understand anyways and gave her a small smile. “We just want to help, Allie. You don’t have to do this alone.”

That did it. Allie broke and burst into tears. She stepped forward and pulled all of them into a group hug. She muttered “thank you” over and over into their hair, the tears warm on her cheek. 

They wanted to fight for her. They wanted to fight _with_ her. She never had anyone do that for her in her entire life.

* * *

They all came into her room, politely ignoring the mess that Allie had left it in. Helena had taken a seat at Allie’s desk and looked over her Polaroids. Kelly sat at the foot of Allie’s bed, a foot tucked in neatly beneath her. Elle was to Allie’s right, drawing a beautiful bird on her own leg. Becca was to Allie’s left with her computer on her lap. 

The tupperware with the brownies lay in the middle of Allie’s bed and they all indulged themselves every once in a while. Allie had to admit they were pretty good.

“Okay, so what if we managed to ask people individually if they wanted to do it?” Becca suggested, “Mr. Wilson can’t forbid them if they want to learn this in their own free time.”

“Yeah, we just have to talk to the jazz band.” Kelly added. “Who even is in it?”

“I am.” Elle answered, not taking her eyes off her artwork. “I can ask them but I’m not exactly their favorite person.”

“That’s okay. We can ask them if you give us their names.” Kelly smirked, “I’m pretty good at convincing people to do what I want.”

“Oh, trust me. We know.” Becca snickered which resulted in a light smack from Kelly.

“They still need a conductor though.” Helena said, ignoring the fuss the two girls were making. 

“Maybe Gordie could do it.” Allie spoke for the first time since they sat down. She didn’t want to jump in and pretend everything would be alright when it had failed spectacularly the first time. But now, she couldn’t help herself get swayed by her friends’ enthusiasm.

“He would work.” Elle weighed in. “He knows the pieces like the back of his hand and he has even knowledge in music to have _some_ authority.” She looked up to give Allie a reassuring smile. “Yeah, it could work.”

“Great!” Kelly smiled. “So, Elle if you could just give me the numbers of the people in the jazz band I can start contacting them.”

Allie felt a spark of hope flicker inside her. She made sure to tame it, though. She couldn’t get ahead of herself so easily. She always failed and there was no reason to think this would be any different. (But maybe it would because she wasn’t alone this time. She had her friends and they were working on this with her and it felt so different.)

Allie’s mom insisted they stay for dinner and all the girls ate pizza in the living room and watched a movie. Cassandra had even joined them. They laughed and talked and Allie couldn’t help but feel that some jagged pieces of her heart had started to smooth over.

Allie asked Elle to stay for the night, and she had agreed with a smile. They went up to her room after everyone else left and ate ice cream. Allie felt a weight lift off her shoulders she didn’t even know she was carrying.

“Why do you like drawing on skin so much?” Allie asked as Elle drew a detailed lily on her leg. Elle just always had some sort of drawings on her arms and Allie found them so beautiful that she would ask them to draw on her too. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you draw on paper considering how often you draw on yourself.” 

Elle froze. Her hand that was holding Allie’s knee in place tightened it grip slightly. She took a deep breath and continued her work. “My therapist actually recommended it. I draw pretty things on my skin to try and erase the memories of the bruises my ex-boyfriend left on me.”

Allie’s eyes widened. She shouldn’t have asked. “Elle–”

“I thought it was actually stupid at first, but it helped.” Elle continued, not looking up from her drawing. “They remind me that the bruises and scars are not normal. That the _fear_ is not normal. It helps.” She met Allie’s eyes and Allie could see the vulnerability at her confession. She held Allie’s hand and Allie felt her eyes water. “You help too. Your friendship means the world to me and I wanted you to know that.”

“Oh, Elle.” Allie pulled Elle into a hug and they collapsed against the pillows. Allie stroked her hair as Elle clung to her tightly.

Elle was also staying in West Ham for winter break, and they spent most of their time together. During the day they would watch movies or go out into the snow. It was a time for fun and avoiding their responsibilities.They even built a snowman and called him Larry.

They would have their serious conversations after night had fallen. Night by night, bit by bit, Elle would reveal more of her secrets.

This time, Allie had let her window open, and the only light came from the moon outside and the neon glow-in-the-dark stars stuck on her roof. They lay face to face, whispering to one another.

“I did group therapy for a while. That’s actually how I became friends with Harry.”

“Wait, _what?_ ” 

Elle’s eyes widened. “Oh, shit. You guys became so close I thought he told you that he went to therapy. Fuck, I’m so sorry. Can you just pretend I never said anything?”

“No, it’s fine. He did tell me. I just didn’t know that’s how you two became friends.”

So that’s why Harry had been so adamant in not telling Allie when she had asked so long ago. She’d always wondered why he’d chosen to deny that specific question and not the others. His refusal made sense. He had been right, it wasn’t his secret to tell.

“Oh, good. I was really scared that I said something I shouldn’t for a second.”

“You didn’t.” Allie assured her.

“Speaking of.” A smug smile started to creep up Elle’s face. “What is going on between you two?”

Maybe it was the darkness of the night that emboldened her but Allie told her the truth. “Nothing. Not anymore. I fucked that up.”

Elle frowned. “What happened?”

And so Allie told her everything. Right from the very start and up until their last conversation a week ago. Elle listened and didn’t say anything except for the occasional clarifying questions.

“I don’t understand.” Elle said when Allie was finished. “Why can’t you just call him and fix it?”  
  
“Because what’s the point in fixing it when it’s all going to end in shit anyways?”

“Well, that’s fucking stupid,” Elle remarked, blunt as always. “Allie, you can’t end things that are going well just because ‘they will go bad someday.’ News flash: most high school relationships end anyways, but that hasn’t stopped anyone from trying. Just because it might end, it doesn't mean you should stop yourself from enjoying it.”

Allie didn’t meet her eyes. “It doesn’t matter. It’s over now anyways.”

“Yeah, it’s over because you gave up.”

“I didn’t give up.” Alie couldn’t help but defend herself. “I made a decision based on the facts before me and this was what was best.”

Elle looked like she was about to push harder but something in Allie’s face must’ve stopped her from continuing. “Okay.”

Allie’s features relaxed and she shifted to lay on her back, deeming the conversation over. But Elle wasn’t done.

“But Allie… we all die eventually and that doesn’t stop anyone from living. It certainly didn’t stop Romeo and Juliet.”  
  
Allie’s face turned to glare at Elle but the blonde had already closed her eyes and buried her eyes in the pillow. “Goodnight.”

Allie was speechless for a couple moments before recovering. “Goodnight, Elle.”

She stared at the glow in the dark stars on her roof for a good while, turning over Elle’s words in her head. Romeo and Juliet. Doomed lovers from the start. She turned the story over and over trying to learn something from their mistakes. She knew what the moral of the story was, but she didn’t think she was ready to accept it yet.

* * *

The Pressmans went big for Christmas. They did the stereotypical pictures on the staircase with pajamas and watching Christmas movies gathered under fluffy blankets. This year it was her mother’s choice, and she chose “Love Actually.”

Allie sit back with her chamomile tea, and watched the movie with her head on Cassandra’s shoulder. It was these moments of tradition and of warmth that Allie wanted to freeze in time. Cassandra was okay, and she was _here_ . Which was something that Cassandra’s heart condition never let Allie take for granted.  
  
She also couldn’t help but enjoy the company of her parents. They did so much for her to guarantee she had the life she had, and she wasn’t even sure she had properly expressed her gratitude. 

Halfway through the movie, Allie reached for her mother’s hand, squeezing it tightly and hoping she understood the implicit _I love you_. 

Her mother squeezed back.

* * *

Allie wore one of her new sweaters she got for Christmas to her first day of school. It was a soft one from Urban Outfitters. All striped and colorful. She’d chosen it to bring herself some comfort on having to face all the issues she’d avoided the entire break. She also looked really cute in it and she really needed the self-confident boost right now.

But Allie still felt awkward as she stuffed her books into her locker. She couldn’t help but remember that the last time she was in the school she had pretty much thrown a tantrum and run away from her responsibilities. Not her best moment.

“Hey. Nice sweater.”

Allie smiled at Kelly. She still wasn’t sure she would ever get used to their new friendship. “Thanks. I like your skirt.”  
  
Kelly looked down at her plaid skirt and grinned at her. “Thank you. I got it at a thrift shop for a couple bucks."

“Nice.”

The lockers rattled as Kelly leaned her back against them. “Actually, I came to talk to you because I have some good news.”

“You do?”

Kelly nodded, already grinning. “Over break, I texted the people that Elle recommended. And I already got eight of them to agree to doing it!”

Allie gasped. “Seriously? That’s incredible, Kelly.”

“I know. But it wasn’t me. I just sent them some of the tracks you guys wrote and they loved it. They felt it was as much a waste for people not to hear them as I did.”

Allie pulled Kelly into a hug, smiling into her shoulder. “Thank you. Thank you. _Thank you.”_ She pulled apart to look Kelly in the eyes. “I hope you know how much this means to me.”

Kelly shrugged. “It was the right thing to do.” She wrapped an arm around Allie’s shoulder and they started walking down the hall together. “But don’t get too excited because we still have lots to do to make this happen.”

Kelly kept talking logistics as they walked, and Allie felt that spark of hope turn into a burning flame. She didn’t try to tame it anymore. She could trust them. She wasn’t alone anymore.

* * *

Allie took a deep breath and slowly approached Ms. Hernandez. Her teacher was looking over the script filled with her notes. 

“I got your email.” Ms. Hernandez said without looking up. 

She was talking about the email Allie, Becca, Elle, Helena and Kelly had all sent about continuing to fight to have live music at the show. Allie bit back a response about how _Ms. Hernandez could’ve freaking responded if she had seen it_. She hated that teachers had this habit of seeing emails and then ignoring them completely.

“Okay. Good."

Ms. Hernandez finally looked up from her notes. “We have a month until the show. I can’t keep waiting for this to come together.”  
  
“I know but–”

“If you can make this happen by the next Saturday rehearsal then we can do it. We can start rehearsing with the band. But if not…then Allie I’ll just scrap it completely.”

That was two weeks away. Not this Saturday but the next. She had _eleven days._

“Okay.” Allie tugged the tip of her ear, knowing what she had to say next. “And Ms. Hernandez, I wanted to apologize for what happened last rehearsal. What I did was unprofessional and I shouldn’t have done it.”

Ms. Hernandez stared at her with an expression Allie couldn’t discern. “I understand why you did what you did. But you will not do that _ever_ again, understand?”

Allie nodded quickly. “Understood.”  
  
Ms. Hernandez's mask broke slightly and she gave her a small smile. “Good. Now, I need you to go backstage. Erica is fitting for costumes and I’d like to have you done before we start rehearsals.”

“Okay.”

Allie walked to the back of the stage and beyond the curtains. She went down the steps and into the cold and slightly damp basement. Costumes lined the walls as she navigated the small rooms that they also used as dressing rooms. The first time she’d gone down here she’d been really impressed at how much _stuff_ their drama department had. 

“Hello?” She called out.

“In here!” Allie followed the voice and found Erica working on the hem of Harry’s pants. They met each other’s eyes and Allie felt like someone had stabbed her heart with an icicle. 

“I have your costume over there, Allie.” Erica pointed out, completely oblivious to the intense stare Harry and Allie were sharing.

Allie wanted to say something. They hadn’t talked in two weeks and yet, it felt like eternity. She missed him. She missed being friends with him. And the way he was looking at her made her question why she thought it was a good idea to break up in the first place.

Just as she was about to say something, maybe something about how he looked like a prince in those clothes, he broke their eye-contact to look down at Erica. His face went completely blank.

She deserved that coldness. She knew that. She had dumped him and he didn’t owe her anything. It still stung.

Allie bit her lip and held back a sigh. “Okay. Um…I’m gonna go try it then.”

She grabbed the dress with her name on it and left the dressing room without another word. She took a couple moments to recompose herself before putting on the costume. It was a light blue dress with long, puffed sleeves. If she was feeling any better, she might have been able to appreciate how beautiful and intricate it was. 

She walked back into the dressing room where Erica and Harry still were. Harry looked up at her briefly and she swore she could see his expression soften for a moment. But then he looked away and the bit of warmth was gone.

Erica gasped. “Oh my God, you look gorgeous! It’s like it was made for you.”

Allie gave a tentative smile and tucked her hair behind her ear. “Thanks.”

“I think there’s a silk sash that goes with it. Let me go find it.” Erica said and left the room to fall into a tense silence.

Allie pursed her lips. She couldn’t let them be awkward around each other like this. It hurt too much. “Hey.”

He looked at her but his face was unrecognizable. “Hey.”

She played with the edges of her sleeve. “How was Switzerland?”

Harry stared at her for a moment like she was crazy before scoffing. “God, Allie. Are you serious?”

“What? Didn’t you go there over break?”

He swept a hand through his hair and shook his head as he stared down at his feet. “I can’t fucking do this. I can’t pretend that everything is okay when it isn’t.”

Allie sighed. “I’m not… trying to pretend. I thought we could still be friends.” She tried not to plead with him, hoping that he would agree. They couldn’t be together anymore but she couldn’t stand it if he just left her life completely.

He looked back at her. “We _can’t_ . _I_ can’t. You broke up with me, Allie.” She looked at her hands in shame. “You left me and I’m so fucking tired of people leaving me. So, no. I can’t be friends with you and pretend it’s all okay because it isn’t. It isn’t fair to me and I can’t let myself pretend that it is.”

Allie bit her lip, hating herself for hurting him like that. After everything with his parents, she never wanted to worsen his abandonment issues and she had done just that. But it had been necessary; they wouldn’t have lasted anyways. She wanted to say that but those excuses felt poor even to her ears. 

“Okay.” She said softly.

For a moment, the anger in his face wavered. But then he continued. “I think we would benefit by keeping our relationship strictly professional.”

She knew what that meant. It meant they were nothing to each other outside of the stage. She had brought this onto herself. She was the one who had lighted them up into flames and now she had no right to complain about getting burned. “Okay.”

They held their stare even after Erica came back. She tied the silk sash around Allie’s waist and Allie couldn’t break their eye-contact. There was so much unspoken between them. So much they had lost after a single conversation.

“Harry, you’re all done. You can take it off now.” Erica said from her spot behind Allie. Harry stared at Allie for another long moment before nodding. Allie closed her eyes as he brushed right past them. 

_God, when had everything become so fucking difficult?_

When Allie finally made her way to her stage, she couldn’t help but feel empty inside. Whatever flame of happiness had started burning inside her had died with that conversation with Harry. 

Ms. Hernandez grinned when she saw Allie had returned. “Great! You’re back. I was thinking we could run over the balcony scene one more time now that we have the set ready. Just to make sure it’s all smooth.”

Allie couldn’t bring herself to look at Harry to gouge his reaction. She just nodded and made her way to the back of the set, where a couple stairs would lead her up to the balcony. The set was surprisingly steady beneath her feet, and she trusted Grizz enough to know that this wouldn’t fall apart and kill her.

“Becca!” Ms. Hernandez yelled, looking up to the booth above all the seats where Becca and Sam were working lights. “Can we try the lights from Juliet’s entrance please?”

“Yeah!” Becca yelled back.

Before Allie knew it there was a spotlight right where she was clinging to in white wooden railing. 

“Perfect!” Ms. Hernandez said with a clap of her hands and walked down to her spot on the front row. 

Allie tried (and failed) not to be painfully aware of the entire cast watching them perform. They had only rehearsed this scene in their private rehearsals.

Harry began his monologue and Allie stared into the distance, waiting for her cue. She was off-book now, as was most of the cast by Ms. Hernandez’s demand, so she had no excuse but to give it her all when it was her chance to speak. 

Harry was right. They had to be professionals about this. She wouldn’t let her own personal emotions get in the way of her acting. When she finally had to address him, and looked down at him from above, Allie felt her gut tighten. But underneath the bright lights, her heartbreak didn’t matter anymore. For now, she was Juliet and he was Romeo. Nothing else mattered.

She panicked, as Juliet would and looked around to see if her family had heard. _“What man art thou that, thus bescreened in night, so stumblest on my counsel?_

She made as if she was about leave when Harry kept talking. She stopped on her tracks and looked over her shoulder to watch him speak tentatively. 

_“By a name I know not how to tell thee who I am.”_ He walked closer to her with every word, his eyes didn’t leave hers as he delivered his lines. He was off-book too. _“My name, dear saint, is hateful to myself because it is an enemy to thee. Had I it written, I would tear the word.”_

Allie turned to face him slowly and her hands came to rest at the railing again. _“My ears have not yet drunk a hundred words off that tongue’s uttering, yet I know the sound. Art thou not Romeo, and a Montague?”_

_“Neither, fair maid, if either thee dislike.”_

Allie looked over her shoulder in worry to look down at him again. She couldn’t help the feeling of deja-vu creeping in her stomach. _“How camest thou hither, tell me, and wherefore? The orchard walls are high and hard to climb, and the place death, considering who thou art, if any of my kinsmen find thee here.”_

He gave her a grin that looked so cocky that she felt the Harry seeping through. _“With love’s light wings did I o'erperch these walls, for stony limits cannot hold love out, and what love can do, that dares love attempt. Therefore thy kinsmen are no stop to me.”_

Allie leaned down further to plead with him. _“If they do see they will murder thee.”_

_“Alack, there lies more peril in thine eye than twenty of their swords. Look thou but sweet, and I am proof against their enmity._

The memory struck her hard, almost causing her to break from Juliet completely. A memory of similar words spoken under a window, with the same boy looking up at her. She could see it in Harry’s eyes that he was remembering that night too.

She gaped down at him for a couple moments, tears threatening to come to her eyes. There was so much left unspoken and she felt Juliet slipping from her fingers by the second. 

She quickly pushed that memory down. She wasn’t Allie, she was _Juliet_ . _“I would not for the world they saw thee here.”_

Harry’s stare continued to burn her. _“I have night’s cloak to hide me from their eyes, and but thou love me, let them find me here. My life were better ended by their hate than death proroguèd, wanting of thy love.”_

Allie gave her monologue flawlessly. She let herself fall into the role completely, letting Juliet’s desperation seep into her face, her voice, her posture. 

Harry’s eyes didn’t leave her face for a second. _“Lady, by yonder blessèd moon I vow,_

_That tips with silver all these fruit-tree tops—”_

She cut in easily. Her frustration at Romeo’s words became obvious as she motioned to the lit up moon in the background. _“O, swear not by the moon, th' inconstant moon, that monthly changes in her circle orb, lest that thy love prove likewise variable.”_

_“What shall I swear by?”_

_“Do not swear at all.”_ Allie answered simply. _“Or, if thou wilt, swear by thy gracious self, which is the god of my idolatry, and I’ll believe thee._

_“If my heart’s dear love–”_

_“Well, do not swear. Although I joy in thee, I have no joy of this contract tonight. It is too rash, too unadvised, too sudden, too like the lightning, which doth cease to be ere one can say ‘It lightens.’”_ Allie paused, once again feeling herself stir under the mask of Juliet. Something in her lines started to ring familiar within her. She couldn’t spend too much time contemplating it and carried on. _“Sweet, good night. This bud of love, by summer’s ripening breath, may prove a beauteous flower when next we meet. Good night, good night! As sweet repose and rest come to thy heart as that within my breast.”_

She turned around to leave when Harry’s voice stopped her. _“O, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?”_

With her back to the audience, she couldn’t help but snicker to herself at how this line sounded like a horny teenage boy complaining about not getting some after being ‘teased.’ When Allie turned around, the smirk had left her face. _“What satisfaction canst thou have tonight?”_

At Ms. Hernandez’ prompting, Harry climbed up the ladder on the side as he delivered his line. _“Th' exchange of thy love’s faithful vow for mine.”_

She had to admit that he had managed to climb up with a gracefulness that Allie wouldn’t expect from anyone else. He settled in the marked spot and she walked up to be face to face with him. This was the closest they had been since before she’d broken up with him. She had to remind herself that this wasn’t real. _They_ weren’t real. _“I gave thee mine before thou didst request it, and yet I would it were to give again.”_

_“Wouldst thou withdraw it? For what purpose, love?”_

Even with their entire cast watching, Allie couldn’t help but feel this moment was personal. It was just them, with Harry staring at her asking why she would take her love back. It was their moment, and Allie didn’t feel like she was faking anymore. She spoke her lines as if they were words meant just for him.

_“But to be frank, and give it thee again. And yet I wish but for the thing I have. My bounty is as boundless as the sea, My love as deep. The more I give to thee, the more I have, for both are infinite.”_

She recognized that look he was giving her. It was the look he gave her when he was just about to kiss her. She had seen it plenty of times before, and yet it never failed to kick her heart into overdrive.

They inched closer to another and nothing else seemed to matter but the fact that Harry’s lips would soon be against hers.

_“JULIET!”_

Harry and Allie jumped apart at Bean’s voice. Allie looked over her shoulder, trying to shake off Harry from her mind and come back to the present. _“I hear some noise within.”_ She turned back to face him and his face was still only inches away from hers. _“Dear love, adieu.”_

Bean called again and Allie called back. _“Anon, good Nurse!–”_ She faced Harry again and swept up in the scene, her hand came up to his cheek. Surprise flashed in his eyes at the unscripted gentle act. _“_ _Sweet Montague, be true. Stay but a little. I will come again.”_

With one last look, she left the stage. Ms. Hernandez called the scene to an end, claiming she was happy to see the balcony had worked out and was ready to move on. 

Allie took a couple moments to herself before walking into view again, and joining Elle at the stage where they would be blocking the next scene. Elle was staring at her as if she’d grown a second head.

“What?”

Elle smirked and tried to look nonchalant. “That was quite a show you put on up there.”  
  
Allie looked away and tried to recollect her still racing thoughts. “Thanks. Harry’s a really good actor. He makes it easy.” 

Elle scoffed. “Yeah, sure. _That’s_ why he makes it easy.”

“Elle…” Allie warned. 

Elle rolled her eyes. “Fine. You’re both idiots.”

This rehearsal Elle drew an empty balcony on Allie’s forearm. Flowers and vines trailed down to the ground and a crescent moon was in the background. Allie raised an eyebrow when she’d seen what Elle had drawn.

Elle had just shrugged. _“What?_ I felt inspired.”

Allie rolled her eyes and didn’t comment. However, the drawing kept snagging her eyes’ attention. And everytime she looked at it it reminded her of that single moment underneath the lights where everything felt alright. A moment when her heart had ceased it’s breaking just for a second. A moment when it didn’t feel like pretend.

* * *

Allie had convinced Ms. Hernandez to let her use the theatre one day to practice with the band. It was their first time rehearsing all of them together, and Allie was extremely nervous.

They had all pulled out chairs and musical stands to the stage, not bothering to go down into the pit just for a rehearsal. 

Gordie had reluctantly agreed to conducting, mostly because he also didn’t want his precious work to go to waste. There were a total of eight people gathered with their instruments: Elle, Madison, Blake, Mickey, Gretchen, Shoe, Brandon Eggles and another guy that Allie didn’t know. 

Allie had extra copies of all parts for all instruments in her backpack, just in case, but it seemed like everyone had remembered their stuff. It soothed that part of her mind that people weren’t going to take this seriously.

Allie sat with Helena and Kelly to the side. Allie was glad for the company; she didn’t really want to sit off to the side by herself. 

Gordie gave her a look and she gave him a nod as a go-ahead. He cleared his throat. “Hey everyone, thank you for coming today. Me and Allie and everyone else in the cast and crew really appreciate all your help in making this happen.” A couple of them gave him a reassuring smile and Gordie’s posture relaxed slightly. “So we’re just going to try and make it through as much as we can. To see where we’re at.” He grinned. “Let’s make some magic.” 

It was a grueling process. It took a little while to get people in sync and to make it sound…good. Allie had to look down at her lap every once in a while to hide her grimace whenever it sounded particularly bad. The flame of hope inside her felt like it was being hosed down with every fuck up. 

It changed when they started practicing the track for [ Romeo and Juliet’s first kiss and encounter. ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WzG_Jq0yEO8)Elle had moved to the piano, and something in her playing seemed to change things. People came in at the right moments, their instruments coming together in harmony. 

Allie smiled as the gentle song she had helped write started to come alive in front of her eyes. Kelly took one of her hands and Helena took the other; they both seemed to be feeling that magic that was coming alive under Allie’s skin. Her eyes started to tear up and she pursed her lips, letting the music wash over her. 

She had helped do this, and even after everything, it was going to work. The song filled with hope and promise seemed to soothe her soul. This was why she had wanted to do this. This was why she wanted music for this show so badly. Music had that extraordinary power to change things with a couple notes. 

When the song came to a close, Allie stood up and started clapping wildly. Kelly and Helena soon joined her, and before long everyone started clapping and grinning as well. They had all felt it. That magic. 

This was why she had tried. This was what made her failures worth it. If she hadn’t bothered to put herself out there in the first place, this masterpiece wouldn’t have existed. 

Something settled in the bottom of Allie’s stomach. When she had claimed to be nothing like Cassandra. She had been right. 

Cassandra hadn’t done this, _Allie_ was the one that made it happen. She was the one that got all these people to work together and make this a reality. She’d spent most of her life thinking that being like Cassandra or being a nobody were the only options possible. A star or a shadow. 

But she had been wrong about that. 

She was Allie Pressman, and just because she wasn’t Cassandra or Harry or Will, it didn’t mean that she couldn’t make something fucking incredible happen.

* * *

Allie caught Ms. Hernandez’s smile when the band started playing in rehearsal. They were down in the pit, a big gaping hole covered by a net to prevent anyone from falling in. 

It took some adjustment for the actors on stage; they sometimes had to speak louder to make sure they were heard over the music. 

But Allie couldn’t help but admit that the effect of the music was breathtaking. Everyone had done such an incredible job at making this work that she wanted to cry of happiness. It also felt like the appropriate “fuck you” to Mr. Wilson, who had done _nothing_ to make this happen. 

Ms. Hernandez caught her staring at her and her smile only widened. She gave Allie a single nod, and Allie read it for the compliment and the _thank you_ that it was. 

At the end of the rehearsal, they had managed to go through their first full run through with the band. Allie felt a mixture of excitement and anxiousness at the fact that this was all coming together so soon. The show was happening in a matter of weeks.

“Hey.”

Allie looked up from her open bag to see Harry standing in front of her. He adjusted the bag on his shoulder, and pursed his lips. “I just wanted to come and say good job. The soundtrack and the band… it all just came together perfectly.” He gave her a small smile. “You should be proud.”

Allie stared at him for a moment, unsure on how to answer. He had said he wanted nothing more than to be professional, but the way he was looking at her looked like anything but. She smiled back at him. “Thanks.”

He gave her one last nod and left. Allie tried not to think of how if she hadn’t fucked up, she’d be getting on the car with him.

“You ready?” Helena asked. She and a couple of other girls had all invited her to go out after rehearsal. 

Allie nodded and zipped up her bag. “Ready.”

* * *

Allie couldn’t get anything done the day before the show. She couldn’t focus on her homework or even properly enjoy any show she tried to put on. All she could think about was the impending doom of tomorrow.

It was too early to go to sleep, so Allie tried to waste the time away by scrolling through the pictures on her phone.

A soft knock pounded on her door, and Cassandra’s head popped in. “Hi. Can I come in?”

Allie sighed with relief and tossed her phone to the side. “Please do.”

Cassandra smiled and walked in with a tub of Ben & Jerry’s and two spoons. She collapsed next to Allie and offered her a spoon. “I thought you could use this.”

Allie gasped when she read the “Rocky Road-ish.” She opened it eagerly and her and Cassandra ate in silence for a couple moments.

“You know, I remember the nights before opening nights were the worst ones.” Cassandra commented. “Ice cream was one of the few things that helped.”

“Yeah, it’s definitely helping,” Allie agreed.

Cassandra smiled. “Here’s my advice. This whole experience– it’s yours. It’s something you accomplished and something you can be proud of. Don’t let anyone or even yourself take this moment away from you. You deserve to enjoy it.”  
  
Allie smiled and leaned her head against her sister’s shoulder. “Thank you. You always know what to say.”

Cassandra kissed the top of her head. “You’re going to be great.”

They put on some Big Bang Theory and Allie felt the storm in her stomach fade. Cassandra was her rock, her comfort and she let herself be soothed by her. 

Some part of her mind still felt guilty that Cassandra didn’t know about whatever had happened with her and Harry, but it didn’t really matter anymore. Maybe someday Allie would tell her. But not today.

* * *

Allie stood at the edge of the wings, watching the stage in front of her. She could hear the audience settle outside beyond the curtains.

The charm of Cassandra’s words had faded completely, and the storm raged in her again.

Allie stopped herself from wiping a hand over her face in frustration. She didn’t want to ruin her makeup. Becca had spent a good amount of time on her soft, golden eye-make up and she would kill her if she ruined it. Kelly had done her hair up in a waterfall braid, and her curls were tamed and fixed so they actually looked purposeful and delicate instead of its usual chaotic mess. She had caught herself in the mirror and thought the girl in front of her was unrecognizable. She didn’t look like Allie anymore; she looked like Juliet.

Her hands were trembling and Allie tightened them into fists to stop them from shaking. Why the fuck had she agreed to this? She wasn’t an actress. She wasn’t ready for this. What if she forgot her lines? There was no way she could improvise in _Elizabethan English._

Someone moved to stand next to her and Allie didn’t have to look to know it was Harry. 

“You nervous?” He asked.

Allie let out a shaky breath. “Terrified.”

“Don’t be.” He turned to look at her. “You might not think it, but you’re a star, Allie Pressman. I know it, now it’s just time for the rest of the world to know it too. That’s why… I want you to take this back.”

She looked at the gold star necklace glistening in his hand and shook her head. “No, Harry. I don’t–I’m not a star.”

“Do you even know what a star is, Allie? It’s just a sparkly dot in the sky. A ball of gas light years away. It just has meaning and beauty because we place value into it.” He stepped around to stand behind her. His arms looped around to place the necklace against her collarbone. Allie closed her eyes at the feel of his breath at the back of her neck. “Nothing is special unless we make it special. Put some value into yourself, Allie Pressman.”

She didn’t know what to say to any of that. She turned around and got caught off guard at how close he was standing to her. 

“Thank you.” And she meant it.

His lips quirked up slightly and she knew he understood what she was thanking him for.

His eyes flitted briefly to her lips and Allie thought to herself how easy it would be to just kiss him. But then he stepped away and reality washed over her. She had ended it. And he was leaving in only a couple months. That hadn’t changed.

He moved to stand next to her instead and they looked out to the stage in silence.

Allie could only feel the cold metal of her necklace against her collarbone. _A star._ She didn’t feel like one. But Harry believed in her. Despite how she blew them up into flames, he still believed in her.

She let out a breath and unclenched her fist. Feeling a bit brave, she moved her hand so their fingers brushed each other. A simple graze of his pinky against hers made a warmth shoot up her arm and down her spine. She kept her eyes ahead, as if nothing was happening. She knew they weren’t together anymore, but she needed that comfort right now. He seemed to understand, and his hand moved closer, a couple of their pinkies and ring fingers interlocking loosely. 

She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply. She wished she could turn around and hug him like she desperately wanted to. She wished he could kiss her on the forehead and whisper in her ear that it would be alright.

But they couldn’t. They didn’t stand a chance in the world and what was the point in even trying? This whole situation just broke her heart.

It was all they would have until they stepped into the stage and into the lights. They would no longer be Harry Bingham and Allie Pressman, they would be Romeo and Juliet. 

And underneath the lights–just for a moment–her heart would no longer feel broken. 

Someone tapped Allie on her shoulder and her hand snapped away from Harry’s. It was Helena and she gave her a comforting smile before whispering, “5 minutes.”

Allie sighed and smiled back at her. She turned to share another glance with Harry. 

He gave her one last smile and started to walk away. “Break a leg, Al.”  
  
He hadn’t called her that since they broke up. “Break a leg.”

Harry stopped one last time as he walked by her to whisper in her ear. “You look really beautiful.”

Allie closed her eyes and resisted the urge to look over her shoulder and watch him leave.

She had to focus. The curtains were about to open and she had to focus on channeling Juliet. She could do this. _She could do this._ She had worked her ass off and now she got to go out and enjoy it.

The curtains opened, and Allie stepped further into the shadows of the wings even though there was no way the audience would have seen her anyway. The volume of the applause took her off-guard for a second. It was so loud. It had to be full out there.

Olivia soon came on stage and the applause started to die down so she could speak. Allie watched her deliver the prologue she had heard a thousand times. 

_“Two households, both alike in dignity (In fair Verona, where we lay our scene), from ancient grudge break to new mutiny, where civil blood makes civil hands unclean. From forth the fatal loins of these two foes a pair of star-crossed lovers take their life, whose misadventured piteous overthrows doth with their death bury their parents' strife. The fearful passage of their death-marked love and the continuance of their parents' rage, which, but their children’s end, naught could remove, is now the two hours' traffic of our stage—The which, if you with patient ears attend, what here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend._

Allie smiled to herself. She could do this. It was “two hours’ traffic” on stage and she was going to enjoy every second of it. 

* * *

Everytime Allie left the stage after completing a scene, she would grin and have to pinch herself to believe this was really happening. It was all going so well, she couldn’t believe it! 

She was remembering every single one of her lines, and her execution was going even better than during rehearsal.

What was even better were her scenes with Harry. Everything just faded away when she acted with him. It was so easy to fall into that pattern with him. There was that chemistry she had felt in that very first scene she did with him, when she had been forced to read for Juliet so he could audition. Even then, acting with him felt _right_. She wasn’t sure she was ready to let that go. 

They were in the final scene now. Where Romeo and Juliet would take their own life. Allie lay in her tomb, her eyes were closed as [ the violin started playing. ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLW6VlviUic) She recognized the tune immediately. It was one of the first tracks that Elle, Gordie and her had come up together. It was the one Gordie had come up with because of her notes. The first thing Elle had ever played for them. It felt like they had come full circle, playing it on stage for the whole audience to see.

She heard some rustling of fabric and could picture Harry kneeling down by her body. _“O my love, my wife! Death, that hath sucked the honey of thy breath, hath had no power yet upon thy beauty. Thou art not conquered._ ” She felt one of his fingers brush her cheek lightly. _“Beauty’s ensign yet is crimson in thy lips and in thy cheeks, and death’s pale flag is not advancèd there.”_

She wished she could open her eyes and watch him deliver the monologue. His voice sounded so desperate and melancholic. She wanted to look at his face and see him in action. He’d always been a fantastic performer.

 _“Eyes, look your last. Arms, take your last embrace.”_ He pulled her body up and she made sure to remain limp as he held her to him. His hand cradled the back of her head to make sure her head wouldn’t roll back. _“And, lips, O you the doors of breath, seal with a righteous kiss. A dateless bargain to engrossing death.”_

He set her back down again gently, and Allie felt his lips press gently against hers. They had kissed a couple times that night, and yet this one was the one that left her feeling exposed. It was so soft, so gentle. It reminded her of the kisses he would press to her lips after they had their first time. As if he was trying to savour it while it lasted. 

_“Come, bitter conduct, come, unsavoury guide. Thou desperate pilot, now at once run on the dashing rocks thy seasick, weary bark. Here’s to my love!”_ That was her cue, and she opened her eyes slowly. Harry was staring at the audience and she smiled, a smile of a girl who didn’t know what her husband was about to do. _“O true apothecary, thy drugs are quick.”_

Her hand brushed his cheek a second after Harry downed the poison. He looked down at her in horror and Allie’s smile melted from her face. _“Romeo?”_

She sat up and wrapped her arms around him as he started hyperventilating. Tears came up her eyes as Juliet’s sorrow overcame her. Her husband had taken poison right before her eyes. She settled him gently on the pillows she had occupied mere seconds ago. _“What’s here?”_ She asked with a wavering voice as she took the vial from his hands. 

She looked from the vial to Harry’s eyes, her face falling further as she put the pieces together. _“Drunk all, and left no friendly drop to help me after?”_ Tears were falling down her face and on to his. She cupped his cheeks. _“I will kiss thy lips. Haply some poison yet doth hang on them, to make me die with a restorative.”_

She kissed him desperately, trying to get some of the poison to her lips. She pulled away to look him in the eyes. _“Thy lips are warm.”_

She brushed some curls away from his forehead and stared at him as he spoke to her between his panting breaths. “ _Thus with a kiss I die.”_

He let out one last shuddering breath and stilled. Allie wailed and pulled his limp body against her, covering his still breathing body from the audience. She buried her face into his neck and cried. How could anyone ever recover from this? How could anyone ever recover from holding their dead loved ones in their arms? Juliet certainly never did. 

Allie set his body down against the pillows once more and brushed her thumbs fingers against his cheek. His eyes had closed. Allie looked around the stage, searching for a way out when she found his rapier scattered on the ground. She reached for it and pointed it towards herself. _“O happy dagger, this is thy sheath. There rust and let me die.”_

She pushed the sword against her stomach, the fake blade retracting into the hilt to look as if she’d actually stabbed herself. Allie collapsed on the pillows next to Harry, the only sound heard was the band below as the music came to an all time high. 

The lights dimmed and the applause roared in front of her. Her and Harry stood up and made their way backstage. As soon as they reached the wings she lunged for him and pulled him down for a hug. 

“We did it!” She whispered with a grin into his ear. His laughter rumbled against her and his arms against her tightened.

“We did. You were incredible out there. Just like I knew you would.”

She pulled away just enough to lean her forehead against his. She met his eyes with a grin and her hands came up to cup his cheeks. They were still slightly wet from their tears. “You were incredible too! God, Harry you were so good out there.”

She moved to kiss him when she remembered herself. They weren’t together. Not anymore.

He seemed to remember too and his arms started to unravel around her. Her hands dropped from his cheeks but she kept her eyes on his. She could hear the play coming to a close behind her, the Prince bringing the feud to an end once and for all.

“We have to get ready for the curtain call.” The raw excitement in his voice had faded almost entirely.

Allie pursed her lips and nodded. “Yeah we do.”

The curtains closed and Allie clapped loudly as her classmates came up to the stage one by one. She whooped and grinned when her friends–Kelly, Gwen, Bean and even Lexie–came up for their turn.

Per usual, the leads were the last to come out. Harry looked at her and offered her his hand. “You ready?”

She grinned at him, not being able to help herself from feeling proud of what they’d just done. That had been spectacular. She took his hand. “Ready.”

They walked to the stage together, and the applause became deafening. The smile on her face was nothing but genuine as the audience stood in front of her. Harry bowed first, and Allie clapped with the rest of them. He stood straight and grinned before motioning to her, and even though they’d practiced this before, it still made Allie feel warm inside as she bowed. It was different knowing that the applause in that moment was just for _her._ For all the hard work and sweat and tears that _she_ had put into it.

She straightened and grinned at Harry once more. They both motioned to the sound and lights booth above, the rest of the cast copying their motions behind them. Allie hollered for Becca and Sam who were chilling up in the light booth, she signed “Congratulations” to Sam and he saluted in response.

Harry and Allie both then pointed to the wings, the crew coming out and on to the stage to be applauded as well. Allie whooped once more, knowing exactly how much extra work the crew put in to make a show like this happen, especially since she’d been one of them only a year ago. 

They then motioned down to the pit, and the audience clapped for the band below.

Mrs. Thompson, their school principal, came to the stage and joined in the applause. Soon the noise died down so she could give her speech. “Can I just be the first one to say congratulations. You have all put on a spectacular show tonight!”

The audience came alive with claps again and Allie clapped as well. It felt different now, being under the harsh lights and the eyes of the audience when she was just herself. She could feel her posture change, and the slight shift of her hips. 

As tradition, the principal gave a speech about the hard work that goes into putting on a play like this. She awarded Ms. Hernandez with a big bouquet of flowers, and gave a speech explaining how this woman carried the drama department on her back. Allie nodded in agreement and gave an extra loud whoop when Ms. Hernandez accepted the flowers.

Ms. Thompson smiled to the audience. “Now we have a variety of students working on this play. From ninth graders to our very special seniors. Students who in their last year of high school with all of their work and college applications, they still set the time to dedicate themselves to this play. I’d like to recognize Kelly Aldrich.” 

Everyone clapped loudly as Kelly walked to the front of the stage and accepted her single rose. Allie smiled as Kelly hugged Ms. Thompson, and then Ms. Hernandez. She couldn’t believe how lucky she was to have become her friend.

Ms. Thompson announced and gave roses to all the other seniors: Gwen, Lexie, Helena. And Allie felt herself waiting for the name she knew would come.

“And our charming, and talented Romeo, Harry Bingham.” The applause came louder than all the others and Allie couldn’t help but join as well. She smiled as Harry sauntered over to accept his rose, confident and smug as ever.

Allie couldn’t help but see this for the reminder that it was: he was a senior and he was leaving in a couple months. She couldn’t let the excitement of the play let herself forget that fact.

Allie thought that was it for the thanks when Ms. Thompson continued up. “Now, I’m sure most of you were as touched and overwhelmed by the music as I was. So I’d like the musicians who made it happen come up from below, so we can properly recognize them.” 

The audience already began clapping and in no time she could see the musicians come up from backstage. Allie clapped her hands loudly, hollering so loud at these people who had saved her project.

“Some of you might know all the hard work that went into making this music a reality, but I’d like to remind you once again that this was written and performed all by our students. I’d like a second to recognize the students that made this happen.”

Allie froze. She hadn’t expected this at all.

“One of the composers and our conductor, Gordie Moreno.” Tears came to Allie’s eyes as she watched Gordie come up and take his rose. He had worked so hard on this, and it made her so emotional to watch him be recognized for it.

“One of our other composers, Elle Tomkins.” Elle shared a unbelieving glance with Allie before walking up and taking her rose. Allie screamed so loud she felt her throat ache.

“And now, the girl who made this all happen. Who put this all together and who was also our stunning Juliet, Allie Pressman.”

The audience roared with applause and Allie gave a laugh of disbelief. She walked slowly to Ms. Thompson who was holding out a bouquet, not a rose as she’d given all the others. She gave her a hug and told her congratulations. Allie walked up to Ms. Hernandez who was grinning at her. She hugged her tightly and her teacher whispered in her ear. “You should be proud of what you’ve done here. I know I am.”

Allie laughed with tears in her eyes. She was so thankful and so filled with love for everyone around her. She couldn’t have done this alone and she was so grateful they helped her pull this all together.

They asked the cast to come together for one final applause and then they were all dismissed. Some of them rushed back to the dressing rooms to get changed, but Allie walked down the steps to meet her family. 

Cassandra hugged her so tight it left her a little breathless, but Allie was too happy to complain.

“I am _so_ proud of you. You absolutely killed it.”

Allie closed her eyes and buried her head in Cassandra’s shoulder. Those words meant so much coming from her. “Thank you.”

She hugged both her parents and they asked to take several pictures. She was about to tell her parents she should go get changed when her mother called out, “Harry!”

The boy stopped and looked over his shoulder, looking somewhat alarmed. Allie’s mother smiled at him, and if Allie hadn’t heard the dinner talk conversations about her disapproval of him she never would’ve been able to tell that it was somewhat fake. “You were amazing out there, Harry. Would you mind taking a picture with Allie. Romeo and Juliet?”

Harry glanced at Allie before giving her mother his charming grin. “Not at all.”

He stepped closer to her and he set his hand on her lower back. She tried to ignore the tingles it sent up her back and told herself that it was just usual photo propriety. She smiled at her mother’s phone and waited for the torture of being surrounded by his cologne to be over. 

“Perfect!” Her mother dropped her phone to look at the photo. “You guys look adorable.”

Allie looked down to hide her blush. 

“Thank you, Ms. Pressman. I’ll see you around.” Allie looked up at Harry briefly and watched as he started to make his way up the stage.

She looked away and back at her family. Cassandra pursed her lips and inched closer to Allie to speak in a low voice. “You guys aren’t…”

Allie shook her head quickly. “No. We’re not.”

Cassandra was looking at the direction he had left in. “Okay. Because sometimes on stage I swear I could see some sparks fly.”  
  
Allie shook her head again. “Don’t worry. It’s nothing.”

Cassandra looked at her for a long moment before nodding. “Okay.”  
  
Allie gave her a smile, trying to act nonchalant. “I’m gonna go get changed.”

She bid her family goodbye and walked to the dressing rooms. She left her makeup and hair on, and changed into her leggings and sweatshirt. It was weird, being out of her costume while still having her stage make-up on. She left through the side-door and found Harry leaning against the wall.

They met each other’s eyes and he straightened. It struck her that maybe he had been waiting for her. “Hey. You were really good tonight.”

“Thanks.” He said while looking down at his feet, unexpectedly humble and shy. “You were amazing too.” He nodded to flowers. “You deserved those. The soundtrack was more incredible than anyone could’ve expected.”

Allie smiled at him. “Thank you.” 

He walked towards her to pull her into a hug, and she clung to him tightly. This was probably the last time they would ever properly see each other now that the play was over. 

He pulled apart from her and smiled. “I told you you were a star.”

She gave a huff of laughter and looked down, feeling embarrassed. “I’ll see you around.”

Allie’s eyes fluttered shut as he pressed a kiss to her cheek. She watched him leave with a heavy heart, feeling like she’d lost so much more than a simple play.

Allie gave herself a couple minutes to recollect herself before meeting her sister and her parents in the parking lot. Cassandra was talking about the play as they all walked to the car.

“You know, Romeo and Juliet was always such a sad story to me. Lovers being torn apart because of a simple mistake. But you know, say what you will, but Romeo and Juliet really _lived_ before they died.”

Something in those words rang through Allie’s head. It sounded like something Elle had said a few weeks back, about living and dying. Allie trailed to a stop.

“Yeah, they did.” Allie smiled softly, a decision coming to her mind. She knew what she had to do. 

She turned away from her sister and her parents and bolted the other way, where a brown haired boy was walking with his little sister.

“Harry!”

He turned towards her, frowning slightly in confusion. She didn’t give him a chance to speak as she ran straight into his arms and kissed him right on the mouth. 

The force of their collision sent him stumbling back a couple steps, but he didn’t seem to mind. He dropped the flowers in his hand and wrapped his arms around her, holding her up. And in the cold, dark night of the parking lot, with her entire family watching, Allie could easily say it was the best kiss of her entire life.

She pulled away to meet his eyes. “I’m sorry. I was stupid and I’m sorry. I was keeping us apart because of something that might happen which is so fucking idiotic. If we can learn anything from Romeo and Juliet is that love is rare and we have to hold on to it tightly. We can’t stop ourselves from being happy because we’re afraid of what will happen tomorrow. And I don’t want to stop this because of what others can think. Screw star-crossed lovers. We’re better than that. This love might be difficult but it’s real and I’m all in.”

His eyes searched her face in wonder. His lips quirked up into a smile. “Yeah, let’s do this. All in.”

Allie grinned back at him and cupped his face to kiss him again. They were just two people, finding love against all odds. They deserved their shot at a happy ending. And Allie was tired of letting herself stand in her own way.


End file.
